Leave a Trail
by onemakaveli96
Summary: A few years post S4, Addison returns to Seattle where things appear different. Lives look to be in order, but w/passing time appearances and secrets unravel. Addison, Alex, Izzie, & Mark some Addison/Kevin, hints of Addison/Alex, Mark/Izzie .
1. Prologue

**Title:** Leave a Trail (.o5/x)  
**Rating:** T  
**Character(s)/Pairing(s): **Addison Montgomery (_in later chapters, Alex Karev, Izzie Stevens, Kevin Nelson, & eventually Mark Sloan_)  
**Summary: **Set a few years post season four, Addison Montgomery finds herself back at Seattle Grace, albeit to find that things are quite different. Along with her life set and in order, she sees that many of the doctors have also come to terms with love life. As time progresses, however, these doctors will witness the phrase 'the more things change, the more they stay the same' manifest. (AU post mid-S4)  
**Note:** This is the prologue, which may have a key revelation, but this series is not intended as a mystery so much as a discovery of things. I've had this idea for a year now, and have been writing this for nearly eight months and it's about time I let others take a look at this story. Summary is tentative, feedback would be great, and I hope you enjoy!

* * *

"What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing."

She turns her head back down, buries it in her palms, to hide the tears that she failed to stop.

She's almost broken, like she's reverting to being that fragile thing people would do their best not to set off, and somehow he can't help but ache for her. He trudges up to her, kneels in front of her, and takes her hands in his. She doesn't make a move, tears blurring the ground she stares at. He pulls at her, and she far too weak to protest or hang on any longer, lets him pull her into himself.

He pulls her onto his lap, an arm around her back, legs cushioning her body, hand holding her chin. Her tears may be too many to catch, but it doesn't stop him from trying to help her. He pulls her head into his chest, whispers 'shhs,' and kisses her red hair. He rocks her silently, slowly, letting her cling to him. Her mangled cries are painful to his ears, her clutching fingernails make him fear for her own life, and her normally strong frame, now so vulnerable, disturbs him to no end.

"Please Addison, talk to me, tell me what to do--you can't be like this."

"He knew," she whispers, but amidst her chaos he hears her.

"What?" he says, not completely understanding her, and he stops rocking her.

She turns in his embrace, and wipes the watery residue from her cheeks.

"He knew," she speaks, with that tone that says how dead serious she. "And I can't do this," she shifts in his arms, "any of this…"

He loosens his hold, and lets her move away from him embrace.

"Addison," there is a hint of exasperation in his voice, but his eyes scream at the terrible way life keeps going wrong for them.

"You--you have people relying on you, and I was just left by a boyfriend of three years. And don't tell me we can figure this out, that you are willing to make your sacrifices, because we both know better, we're smarter than that."

He drops his eyes, hating what this has all come to, and never has he been more tired of the lies. After a moment, he draws his eyes back up to hers. He inhales deeply, preparing to shift his world around once again, and he speaks: "It's a set-up--all of it. From the relationship, to Marie--none of it's real. Well, definitely not the relationship part, but I still love Marie as if she were mine. But her name--Marie's name--it's not some name we picked randomly, or because it's a variation of Mary. The name's got a part of her mom, and her dad," he pauses, watching Addison carefully who is on the cusp of grasping his words.

She stands, transfixed at the words he is telling her, putting puzzles together until he says the final three words.

"Her real dad."


	2. Chapter 1

**Title:** Leave a Trail (1/x)  
**Rating:** T  
**Character(s)/Pairing(s): **Addison Montgomery, Alex Karev, Izzie Stevens, Kevin Nelson; est. Kevin/Addison  
**Summary: **Set a few years post season four, Addison Montgomery finds herself back at Seattle Grace, albeit to find that things are quite different. Along with her life set and in order, she sees that many of the doctors have also come to terms with love life. As time progresses, however, these doctors will witness the phrase 'the more things change, the more they stay the same' manifest. (AU post mid-S4)  
**Note:** First off, I'd like to thank A.M. for the wonderful review--I go through periods with this story in which I write quite a few chapters in a matter of days, and then can't get back to it for at least a week. I hadn't planned on posting this until I finished this, but since I need motive to finish the remaining chapters, I'm finally posting. This goes for the other reviewers as well--wonderful source of encouragement, so thank you. I'd like to update at least once a week, so here's hoping that pans out well. Alrighty, so...Enjoy!

* * *

Sometimes she awoke, expecting to hear raindrops pounding against her windows, or at least the wind bristling through the trees outside. But when she awoke and saw the light brimming through her curtains, and birds chirping in the palm trees outside, something inside of her sank. It was no doubt a strange expectation, and her reaction to reality was befuddling although she would chalk it off to the present being surreal.

Still, it was like the woman awoke forgetting that she slept in these personally-bought sheets, and not some manufactured by a hotel. She adored those sheets, loved how she could call them hers and how she managed them and not some stranger.

She had been living in this beautiful, big home for four years now, and she couldn't get accustomed to the adobe. Whereas in that small, albeit grand, hotel room, she had gotten attached. Maybe not the room, but the atmosphere, even if it seemed too cold and frigid at times. She would curse it out and hate it when she resided there, but once she moved out to this house, she found herself pondering who occupied the room now. Probably a thousand people had slept in that room by now, never making it a home of sorts, but instead using it for adventures and care-free days.

She also loved the liveliness of the people there. She could walk outside and there would be a neighbor there, bidding her good morning or another neighbor telling her how beautiful her hair looked that day. She had never experienced neighbors like that, but oddly it felt out of place. Yet another thing she could chalk up to disbelief of her more current settings, because what else would it be? All her life she led a high life in which people would only notice her if she commanded their presence with a sharp look and quick wit. Now, people would see her without trying and it was different but a welcome difference. It was a homely feeling, she decided one time, and wasn't that what she had wanted for so long? That's why she slept in that bed, alongside that man, and worked in an environment that included her best friend and her counterparts.

She tried not to think of it too many days, especially in the mornings and more often than not she achieved in that, but in either case she would follow her awakening with a glance to her left accompanied by a soft smile, and she would leave the bed.

The mirror was not very inviting either. It seemed to reflect her age all too well, and seemed to reflect the things she hated most. Her hair looked much too flat, her eyebrows looked mismatched, and the bags in her eyes looked so deep. Here she would sigh again, and continue with her morning rituals.

Once in her kitchen, the refrigerator did not like appeasing her. Such boring, uninventive contents to make food with. She was sure the ingredients wouldn't seem so bland if there was someone there to play around with them, unafraid to experiment even if the food would come out horrendous. She always contemplated hiring a chef, but chefs and food delivery services were from another lifetime. Practices from those times were best left abandoned. Four years in and she still needed to remind herself that this was the fresh start she had so coveted and vowed to live according to an untarnished perspective.

So, eggs it was again.

Then she slipped into some workout clothes, and began her run around the beach, music sifting through her ears, strands of red hair playing with the wind.

She would return to the house on the beach, where her boyfriend was making a more proper breakfast. Eggs, pancakes, and bacon, which he would offer to her. He'd joke with her, saying she should sleep in once a while, and how she was becoming the typical Californian by taking morning runs. She'd give him a playful smirk, say he made her lose her appetite, and run off towards the shower. He'd ask if she wanted any assistance in there, and just as she did with his breakfast, she would decline.

Once out of the shower, and once changed, they would say a quick goodbye at their cars, and head to their respective jobs.

Few patients would come through each day, and thanks to that, there was a lot less stress than any other job she had before. Her girlfriends sure were entertaining, and her male friends were a lot more understanding and patient than the men she had known in her last job. And it was all comfortable.

The new house. The new lover. The new friends. The new job.

It had been four years, but Addison Montgomery still on occasion, called this life in California, new. As if she had only recently been reborn into this sunny private practice, where drama and patient life were turned down a couple of notches from Seattle. As if she hadn't been there four years, and in Seattle only a year.

She didn't feel empty or dried up. Just comfortable and content. She ignored that this felt oddly like her life with Derek, because in actuality Kevin (a handsome, police officer she had met early-on in LA) never forgot their dates and never forgot to go a day without so much as an I love you. Kevin was patient, and paid attention to her, and they had been together for less than four years, and already a habit had formed. Not abnormal even if it disconcerted once in a grand while—over time, couples just fell into patterns. Partnerships functioned like that. Sometimes compromise and uniform scheduling were necessary, and predictability was automatically attached to those aspects on occasion.. But she was good. Good and comfortable.

One night, when she arrived home and found him in the kitchen, she smirked at him. She gave him a hello, and a peck on the cheek as he asked about work. As always, she answered great, and she would return him the question. This night, as she sat on a stool from the kitchen's island with a tub of chocolate chip ice cream in front of her, she gave him a curious look-over and smiled softly. They were good for each other, and just good together, she thought.

She said an 'I love you' out of nowhere, and he cocked an eyebrow. He quickly smirked, and in a half-joking matter, asked, "Is something wrong?"

For a second, she wanted to answer, _Something is not right._

Instead she smirked back with a roll of the eyes and said "no."

She began digging at the ice cream, contemplating the reasons she told him 'I love you' out of the blue. Sure, it could have been that she had one of those lover-moments, in which she was remembering everything her beau had done for her, and how he was an extraordinary person in general. But this random blurt seemed to have come from elsewhere. Like from the place that surprised her the mornings she expected to see Seattle out of her window instead of Los Angeles.

Then, the phone rang, bringing her out of her thoughts, and in the pit of her stomach came the feeling she had those mornings and those times she questioned her place here.

Kevin answered, but Addison kept her concentration on finding the chocolate chips in her ice cream.

"Hello," she heard him answer.

"Uh yeah, she's right here," he looked confused.

Addison looked up as he handed her the phone.

"Hello?" she answered, some ice cream still in her mouth.

Her eyes grew wide, and she gave Kevin a look of pure irritation. He gave her an inquisitive gaze, wondering who it was.

"No, I'm not busy--just eating," she paused," yes, I am aware that the polite thing to do is to swallow before talking!" Chuckling nervously, her foot tapped on the stool's foot, and she began tucking away strands of her hair.

"Hold on, why are you calling me now…?" Addison's face contorted as she listened intently. "I'm sorry, can you repeat that?"

A look of shock crossed her features and she began laughing.

"No, I'm not laughing at you. I just find it very surprising...no, not because of that because it was bound to happen eventually—probably. It's just the fact that you've called to inform me..," she looked up to Kevin who watched in confusion.

"Just, look, I'm trying to congratulate you! I'm glad everything's worked out and...hold on, what did you just ask me?" Then her smile fell, and she found herself gaping at the phone.

"No, I can't--I am not being a prude!…Fine, I'll go!" and she hung up the phone.

She muttered some choice curse words under her breath and stuck some ice cream in her mouth.

"Who was that?" he asked.

"That--" Addison began," was my ex-husband. Inviting me to his wedding."


	3. Chapter 2

**Title:** Leave a Trail (2/x)  
**Rating:** T  
**Character(s)/Pairing(s): **Addison Montgomery, Alex Karev, Izzie Stevens, Kevin Nelson; est. Kevin/Addison  
**Summary: **Set a few years post season four, Addison Montgomery finds herself back at Seattle Grace, albeit to find that things are quite different. Along with her life set and in order, she sees that many of the doctors have also come to terms with love life. As time progresses, however, these doctors will witness the phrase 'the more things change, the more they stay the same' manifest. (AU post mid-S4)  
**Note:** Another shout-out to A.M. and one to amelia--since you're anon. reviewers, I've got to say it here. Thanks a load again, & I'd like to clarify, that as it is, 17 chapters are complete. According to my outline, there should be another four or five chapters, but those aren't definitive numbers given the fact that I suck at keeping up with my plans...Anywho, I shall keep updating, and hopefully by the time I've gotten to chapter 17, the series will be complete. Thanks for the feedback everyone, and I hope you enjoy.

* * *

Kevin cocked an eyebrow, and not quite sure whether this was a joke or not, asked," Your ex-husband invited you to his wedding?"

"Yep," she took another bite of her ice cream.

He contorted his face, then relaxed. "Okay. When do we leave?"

She raised an eyebrow and set her spoon and carton aside.

"Okay? Okay?! You seriously expect us, the ex-wife and her boyfriend, to attend the ex-husband's marriage? "

"Hey, calm down," he walked over to her and took her hand in his.

"You already agreed, Addison."

"Yes, but who's to say that by the time the wedding comes around, I won't come down with a terrible flu that will leave me unable to travel?"

"Look, you're over him. You're with me. We're good and steady and there's no reason for you to fear going back there," he gave her a sly grin," what do you say?"

She rolled her eyes, in disbelief that her boyfriend would want to attend her ex's wedding. "Fine, but don't say I didn't tell you so when you meet those people."

"They can't be that bad, Addison."

"Or so you believe," she gave him a stern warning of a look.

"So when is it?"

"Three months, called in advance for seat reservations. For the sake of all that is holy however, we won't be there until a few days before the wedding."

"Oh," he drawled out as he crossed his arms over his chest and looked down at the floor in contemplation.

"Kevin, what are you thinking?"

"Why do you ask me with that tone?"

Laughing, she answered," because you always get that face when you have one of those ideas that you're determined to get down."

He looked up, and with a mischievous wink said," what do you think about an extended vacation?"

--

"You are a crazy driver," Kevin set the bags down in their hotel room.

"It's your own fault. 'Oh, Addie, why don't we take an extended vacation. We're going to Seattle anyway, so why not stay there for a while and hey a road trip sounds fun. Come on Addie, it'll be fun, and I'll get to meet all of your old friends. Oh, Addie--" he cut her whining with his lips.

"Hmm," she mumbled against his lips," I hate when you kiss me."

"Well you wouldn't shut up--and I do not sound like that," he pulled away.

"Doesn't matter, I hate this vacation already," she fell on top of the bed.

"So why'd you request this room?" Kevin asked as he closed the blinds, to shield the view of the rain.

"I lived here," she mumbled through the sheets.

"Lived here?" he lay beside here.

"Just when I worked at Seattle Grace."

"What is Seattle Grace like, anyway?"

She didn't answer. He glanced over at her, and noticed her lids were closed.

"Addie?" he whispered in her ear. She had fallen asleep, and so he sighed and pulled the sheet over her, allowing her to rest.

--

"So, here we are," Addison gritted through her teeth.

"We've come this far, Addison," he splayed his arm over her shoulder.

"You pushed me this far," she shrugged his arm off.

She took a long look at the sign on the building, remembering the day she came here five years ago, in hopes of retrieving her husband. Seattle Grace Hospital looked exactly the same, as did the free clinic which resided beside it. The people inside probably hadn't changed much either. It may have been approximately four years, but at the rate the people there evolved, she doubted much was different.

She sighed, wondering why she was so damn hesitant--even if she hated the idea of dealing with people who could be the same people, exteriorly and interiorly, she had always managed to work around them. For the most part, anyway, and perhaps it was knowing that at times she lost battles in this place (something she was far from accustomed to) that had her weary.

Kevin wouldn't buy her not having enough resolution to face people she could clearly hold her own against, though, because she was Dr. Addison Forbes Montgomery. Sure he had seen her go through a variety of emotions, and situations that had deep effects on her, but at the end of the day she was still strong and confident. So he had woken her up, urged her to change, gotten some mildly-good hotel food, and rushed them out to this hospital. Where old familiar faces were working.

Remembering her old luck, all the old faces probably still worked there. Oh, God, she could not fathom crossing paths with the Grey-clan, with the chief or Derek or Mark. It wouldn't be so bad seeing Bailey and Callie again, but all those other people who had been witness to her grandest mistakes? She felt herself losing it, forgetting to be strong, formidable, and immune to people's whispers. LA had been easy, because everyone there didn't know everything everyone here knew. Knows. They still know. If they remembered her.

"I'm not going to like this, Kevin," Addison said.

"Why not? Because of an ex-husband?"

"No. Because _everyone_ in there comes with the package of Derek _being_ my ex-husband. They were all 'Team Derek' and I was Addison, the girl they resented, then liked, but always felt pity for."

"Good thing you're not that girl. Or a girl at all then, right?"

She eyed him. He looked so sure of her strength, and she couldn't have him looking at her any other way. "Right."

He smiled and linked his arm with hers. She smiled back and took a step forward, willing herself to face the past she had tried so hard to forget.

--

At the nurses station, a young resident cheerily chatted up the nurses, as she leafed through her charts. While she put the charts down, she felt a soft poke at her shoulder.

"Don't poke her," she heard a whisper behind her.

"I wasn't poking."

"Yes you we--"

"She wasn't poking," Lexie turned around to stop the arguing whispers.

She saw a pair standing there, a woman who rolled her eyes and a man who sighed. Inspecting them, she could estimate that both were seemingly in their early 40s, with the woman having long, flowing red hair, and a man with lucid blue eyes, and a crop of blond hair, and he was not too bad to look at. Her eyes lingered at him, checking out his structured features.

Addison rolled her eyes and stepped in front of Kevin. "Excuse me," she called to the girl. "Hi," she smiled when the girl caught wind of how she was just staring at the guy.

"Hi," she cleared her throat," How can I help you?"

"We're looking for Dr. Bailey. Or Dr. Torres. Whichever one can see me now."

"Oh, well Dr. Torres hasn't come in, but Dr. Bailey should be at the clinic. I'll page her. You can take a seat while you wait."

Addison nodded. "Thanks, Dr…."

"Grey. I'm Dr. Grey," she smiled brightly at Addison, "and your name, Ms…."

"Grey?" Addison answered instead.

"Well isn't that ironic? You're a Grey, I'm a Grey…" Dr. Grey began laughing.

"No, no. I'm referring to you being Dr. Grey."

"Oh," the girl's cheeks tinted red. "Right, I'm Dr. Lexie Grey. Why?"

"You do not have some affiliation to the Dr. Meredith Grey, do you?"

"Yeah, she's my sister," she nodded feverishly," you know her?"

"You mean the woman that was screwing my husband, made my husband fall in love with her, and who was a factor in our divorce? I'm familiar with her work, yes."

Lexie's eyes widened, and her mouth went agape with the realization.

"You're Dr.--"

"Montgomery. Yes. I am Dr. Addison Forbes Montgomery."

--

"I can't believe you slept here again," Meredith flipped on the light of the on-call room.

"Ugh," the young woman sat up on the bed," I can't believe you woke me up again."

Meredith crossed the room to sit on the bed on which her friend lay.

"You know, not too far off, in a pretty little house, there is a king-sized bed with your name on it...and Alex's."

"You always have to say that in that tone, Meredith?" she pointed out quickly.

Meredith laughed," I'm just saying—knowing there was a bed somewhere that shared Alex's name would scare me off too--and have me sleeping in say...an on-call room."

Izzie rolled her eyes and stood up. "Alex called me last night and said he had things taken care of, so I didn't have to make the drive over. He ordered me to save the time and sleep here instead."

"And like a dutiful girlfriend, you abide?"

"Oh shut up Ms. 'I scrub in on every McDreamy surgery,'" she rolled her eyes.

Meredith only ignored her, and grinned.

"Guess what?"

"What?" Izzie sighed, knowing this could just be a worthless piece of gossip.

"She's back," Meredith said mysteriously.

"Who?"

"The Queen of the Gynie Squad," she answered.

"Dr. Montgomery is back?" Izzie's mouth opened in surprised.

"Yep," she nodded with a grin, "She's back."


	4. Chapter 3

**Title:** Leave a Trail (3/x)  
**Rating:** T  
**Character(s)/Pairing(s): **Addison Montgomery, Alex Karev, Izzie Stevens, Kevin Nelson; est. Kevin/Addison  
**Summary: **Set a few years post season four, Addison Montgomery finds herself back at Seattle Grace, albeit to find that things are quite different. Along with her life set and in order, she sees that many of the doctors have also come to terms with love life. As time progresses, however, these doctors will witness the phrase 'the more things change, the more they stay the same' manifest. (AU post mid-S4)  
**Note:** This is more a transitional chapter than anything, but for those loyal readers of mine who for some reason are bringing up some guy named Alex Karev (does that have something do with my other Grey's fics...?), well let's just say the cast comes out to play in this chapter. And hopefully the cast doesn't disappoint. Much love, thanks for the feedback & enjoy.

* * *

"Do you like giving people heart attacks?" Kevin asked Addison as they waited for either Miranda or Callie to arrive.

"No."

"Then why'd you almost give that girl one?"

Addison smirked.

"Because it's ironic."

"What?"

"When I first came to this hospital, the first people I encountered were Derek and Meredith. I greeted her by saying, 'You must be the woman who's screwing my husband.'"

"Wow," Kevin looked out her astounded. "So you must really hate that Meredith, right?"

"No. I don't hate her. I have grown."

"Dr. Addison Forbes Montgomery has grown? Wow, we must alert the newspapers!" Callie screamed sarcastically, looking at her old friend in awe and delight.

"Callie!" Addison exclaimed, enveloping her in a hug.

"Hey, how have you been?!"

"Good, good," Addison smiled and turned to Kevin," this is Kevin."

"Kevin?" she smiled at him, and took his hand. She leaned over to her friend's ear and whispered, "so this is the Kevin, as in the boyfriend Kevin?"

Addison chuckled softly, and whispered back," yes, as in my boyfriend Kevin."

"Well, in any case, you are right," she looked him over and as she bit her lower lip, said, "He is scrumptious."

Kevin looked away as Callie gave him that predatory look and just managed to say," Nice to finally meet you Callie."

She took the hand he offered and held it tightly," And it's nice to meet you."

--

Callie quickly led Addison and Kevin to her office, although it was pretty obvious that half of the hospital already knew of Addison's return. This was cemented after twenty good minutes of chatting, when Dr. Webber rushed in and took a good, hard look at Addison.

"So the rumors are true," he cocked an eyebrow at her.

"The rumors are true," she tried keeping a straight face, but could not hold it, and stood from her seat across Callie's desk and gave Richard a hug.

"It's nice to have you here, Addison," he said after they exchanged a greeting or two, and after Kevin's introduction.

"Here for a visit," she clarified.

"We'll see about that," he answered her.

"And you, Officer Kevin Nelson, how exactly did you meet Addison?" he inspected the man over.

"Um, well I--" he began, but the chief cut him off.

"And what kind of police work do you do specifically--ever put Addison here in any line of danger?"

"Richard," Addison warned him.

"No, I haven't, I just…" but thankfully for him, before the interrogation went any further, the chief's beeper went off. He looked at it quickly, made a face of exasperation, but quickly looked at Addison.

"Dr. Montgomery, how would you like to perform an emergency surgery on a woman going into pre-mature labor?"

--

"Wow, I can't believe she's back. Who told you?"

"Lexie. She came rushing into Mrs. Wilkinson's room, out of breath, of how Dr. Montgomery had just arrived."

"Wow," Izzie repeated.

"Seriously, the Ruler of all that is Evil returning amazes you?"

"No, it's just strange. I mean, she left without saying a word, and suddenly she's back. I guess if it was closer to your wedding, it'd make more sense, but…"

"I know. Makes you wonder if she's back for good. But word is, she's back with a man," Meredith wriggled her eyebrows suggestively.

"Seriously?" but before Izzie could repeat her mantra, Christina threw the door open to announce, "who wants to see the ex She-Shepherd back in action?"

"Are we still calling her that?" Meredith pouted, but Izzie rushed her out, and the three girls all but ran to the OR in which Dr. Montgomery would perform a surgery in Seattle Grace Hospital for the first time in four years.

--

She rushed into the OR that the chief had indicated, quickly after having washed her hands and putting on the garments.

In an instant she was inside the OR, the nurses and interns were moving out of her way, until she was by the woman who had only just been pushed in. She took a deep intake of breath, and asked the nearest nurse to hand her the scalpel when another figure came to stand beside her.

"Scalpel," he commanded before she got the chance, and the voice behind the mask was unmistakable.

"No," Addison quickly stopped the nurse, and took it before he could get it.

"This is my patient Dr. Montgomery," he didn't meet her eyes, but rather moved for the scalpel.

"You are still a resident," she brought her eyes up to meet his, and like time hadn't passed, they could read each other in the atmosphere of a crowded OR.

She turned back to the patient, inhaled deeply again, and began her work.

"Where's the attending?" she asked after a several minutes.

"He went out to run an errand earlier. I told him of the situation, and he said he was on his way, but I could begin the surgery in the meantime."

"An attending off hospital grounds during his shift? Richard really knows how to pick them."

"Yeah, well, he didn't have much to choose from after the best left."

She could hear the snide tone in his remark, but she was a professional, and just continued with the surgery. She knew better than to be affected by any individual's judgment by now, and this woman and her baby were far more important right now.

Just as she safely removed the baby from the mother's womb, a man came running in, a look of confusion on his face.

"What's going on here?" he boomed loudly.

"You must be Dr. Brandon," she calmly said, handing the crying baby over to the resident carefully.

"Yes, and this is my OR, and my patient, so--"

"She's yours," Addison lay aside the scalpel," you can finish her up."

She brushed past him and walked over to the baby, checking its stats and Bps.

"How's she doing," she stood beside the resident.

"Good. She's on the small side, but for a premie she's looking fine." He took a cloth to the baby, and brushed off a bit of the blood covering her. Addison inspected him, watching as he looked to the baby to the heart monitor. He finally turned to her, and even though half of his face was covered by a mask, she could tell he was grinning.

She only cocked an eyebrow at him in response and returned her gaze to the little figure.

Alex looked back down as well, and continued cleaning her up. He was doing well with her, and there was not much else for her to do so she turned on her heel to glance at the OR table, where the cardio surgeon was ensuring the woman's heart was beating steadily, and Dr. Brandon stitched the woman up.

Addison took to taking off the bloodstained outfit then, and headed towards the washing station to clean her hands. Dr. Brandon said a weak thank you and took off. She washed her hands slowly, waiting for the resident to come in and clean up.

"Like old times, huh?" she heard Alex whisper, as he scrubbed his hands beside her.

"Yeah," she whispered back. She gave him a tight smile, but quickly moved on. She dried her hands and let her hair back loose. She noticed Alex looking at her intently, and her heart constricted at the wholesome sight at him. Had it really been four years?

She waited for him to finish, although they did not say a word in the meantime. When he finished, they simultaneously walked outside, where the group that had been watching in the gallery, came down to congratulate them. Everyone including the Grey-clan, Kevin, the chief, and Derek.

The Chief greeted them with a smile full of glory, and he gave them a soft smile. Callie gave them a whoop and a whistle, at which Addison wanted to bury her head in embarrassment. Predictably, Derek gave her a look of disbelief, with a hint of a smile.

"Always one to make a scene, right Addison?" Derek commented.

"It's great to see you too Derek," she rolled her eyes at him.

The Chief, noting how half of his staff was just standing around, quickly dismissed the majority of them.

"Okay, people, back to work!" he then leaned in to Addison, and winked after saying,"That was some beautiful work, Addison."

He turned sideways to face Alex, and also commented," and working with the very surgeon who showed you the ropes in your specialty has proven your strengths, Karev. Good work."

They shook hands, and the Chief rushed off to do something or another.

The only ones who remained now were Derek, Bailey, Meredith, Kevin, and Alex.

Derek came up to her, and gave her a proper greeting along with a hug.

"I hear you brought someone along with you," Derek asked her in a whisper.

In the corner of her eye, before she introduced Derek to Kevin, Addison noticed Alex moving away quietly.

"Yes," she drew out, and she called Kevin over, to introduce the two.

As the two shook hands, and as Kevin met Meredith, Alex observed the round of introductions and greetings, and especially took notice of the arm that man put around Addison's shoulders.

It made sense for Addison to have found someone after four years, but for some reason it did not sit well to see that particular man with that particular woman. But he had other preoccupations in life, ones he that were much more important for his focus to be on. So he quickly turned his gaze away from Addison, and the those surrounding her to return to his work.

And by the time Addison looked to where Alex had been standing, she would already find him gone from her line of sight.


	5. Chapter 4

**Title:** Leave a Trail (4/x)  
**Rating:** T  
**Character(s)/Pairing(s):** Alex Karev, Addison Montgomery, Izzie Stevens, Kevin Nelson; est. Kevin/Addison  
**Summary: **Set a few years post season four, Addison Montgomery finds herself back at Seattle Grace, albeit to find that things are quite different. Along with her life set and in order, she sees that many of the doctors have also come to terms with love life. As time progresses, however, these doctors will witness the phrase 'the more things change, the more they stay the same' manifest. (AU post mid-S4)  
**Note:** So sorry about the wait! Chapter five needed some revision and it's finally done, so here's your chapter four update. Thanks to everyone who's stivking in there and continues to read this, & especially those who take the time to give me some feedback. Thanks a load and enjoy. :)

* * *

When he awoke with this woman sleeping soundly beside him, he felt himself constrict. He felt awkward, strange, trapped, unfamiliar in his own skin. As though he didn't remember becoming this man. He'd pull himself out from under her, and tiptoe to the restroom, where'd he look at the few gray hairs that were beginning to grow out. He'd sigh, wondering when he had grown so much. When he had become the barbecue guy, and he'd splash his face, hating himself for not going a day without thinking this whole life over. That woman in that bed deserved better than settling down with him. But these thoughts and feelings always went unacknowledged, unheard. No one could know his innermost doubts, otherwise a whole world could collapse, and after everything that woman had gone through, he could not allow for it.

He'd leave their bedroom, and head towards the smaller one at the other end of the hall. He'd creep in and kneel in front of the bed, gazing at the small figure before him. The streaks of brown hair splayed between the great blond hair reminded him how easy it had been to fool the world because of the girl's hair. But the hair was the only thing about her features that let people think she had a part of both the mom and the dad. All the other assets derived from else the mother's. Or no one's.

And that was the hard part. Having to explain the eyes. They could get away with the cheekbone's resembling neither parent's, and the smile being so irregular yet familiar. But the eyes--they were near impossible to explain. Nearly, because they concocted the idea that the Alex's father had those color eyes, and the little girl had gotten them from there. It was rare for a recessive gene to skip a generation and be evident in a grandchild, but it happened. So no one questioned this, because as doctors it was quite logical.

The little girl's dad would run a gentle hand over the short hair, and smile. She always got a smile out of him, and it would be his affirmation each day that growing old so quickly was worth it. Just for this girl.

Then he'd head back to their bedroom, and quietly awaken the woman he'd chosen to spend helping through life. She'd awaken every morning, open her eyes quickly, jump out of bed, rush to the restroom, and then to the kitchen. Every morning, she'd make breakfast. Every other morning she'd complain, wishing he would wake her up earlier. Every other morning, she would look at him wistfully and thank him for giving her five extra minutes to sleep, because any extra minute of rest was great.

Every morning he'd just ache for that girl to wake up quickly, so he'd have that reminder before him.

And though the mornings varied more often than not, and the doubts and concerns further invaded his mind, nothing ever changed. For three years, he had been their caretaker.

That morning was more or less of the same, with the main difference being that Izzie had slept at the hospital overnight. It wasn't completely uncommon for him or her to remain at the hospital overnight given their occupations, although they usually tried to avoid it so that their girl had more of a sense of home.

Still, the day didn't feel abnormal or out of place. He took their girl to a babysitter, then drove to the hospital not expecting anything out of the ordinary to occur.

There was of course the round of rumors in the hospital, as there always tended to be. That old set of 'Bailey's interns' were no longer usually the focus anymore, not that he ever really cared, and thus he ignored the whispers going around and the occasional nurses who kept trying to stop him to tell him about someone in the hospital.

He didn't have time for that though because he had patients to deal with. He would hear it from word of mouth either way though, when a pregnant patient began going into premature labor and as he and some nurses wheeled the patient to an OR, a nurse said, "Dr. Montgomery is here, if we could get her--"

He froze if all for a second before making himself act logically, "Paige the Chief, see if he can get her down here."

There wasn't a second for him to react any other way. Having Dr. Montgomery help in the surgery would benefit both the patient and her baby as Dr. Brandon was off who knows where. Then they would be in surgery, they would clean up, he would get back to his other patients, and she would do whatever she was there for. That was the end of that.

--

He ate his food as slowly as possible as he waited for Izzie to arrive. He stared off into his food, as Meredith yapped away at him about her wedding. He'd nod, and she'd continue talking. Alex was just grateful every time Derek appeared, because then Meredith would leave him alone.

When Izzie finally arrived, she fibbed to Meredith that Derek was looking for her so she'd leave. Alex smirked at her, and continued eating. He knew she was staring at him intently. She did that a lot. He didn't exactly know why, because he very much doubted she was still entranced by his looks after five years of knowing one another. He never acknowledged her stares though, because he could never find it in himself to question all her motives in life. He felt like he still had to tiptoe around her feelings.

"Alex?"

"Hmm."

"Who was the better teacher. Dr. Montgomery or Dr. Brandon?"

He shrugged, not too eager to answer the question primarily because their methods had been so different. In addition one answer might be interpreted as having some emotional attachment, an interpretation he very much wanted to avoid.

"Dr. Brandon. He's been here more, so I learned more," he answered logically. "Why?"

"Just curious, because you never showed sincere interest in the field until Dr. Montgomery."

He kept eating, forcing himself to keep quiet. Shit, he knew his interest in the field began because of Dr. Montgomery. And hell, in some months time he learned more from her than he learned in a year from the guy that replaced her.

"You alright Alex?" she pressed his hand softly.

He swallowed his food and looked up at her, with a small smile. "I'm great," and he leaned over to press a kiss against her cheek.

She smiled back at him, "Me too."

Seeing Izzie so happy and content was the second reason he'd decided to continue on with this life.

He turned back to his tray of food, unable to keep his eyes diligently on hers.

--

Meredith knew better. Every time she would look at the interaction between Alex and Izzie, she could only see two friends comforting each other, one well aware of this, and the other blissfully unaware, just trying to fulfill the vision so many woman had.

But they had chosen to go on like this, and neither seemed completely miserable. Even Alex, who at times appeared to be uncomfortable with his position as Izzie's partner. Izzie had given birth to his daughter, and as such he had been entrusted with many responsibilities. And given his troubled childhood, it was inevitable for Alex to want to give his child anything and everything he didn't have as a kid.

He didn't have to stick with Izzie though, something Meredith had thought a few times--he could have just stuck by their baby.

Neither did he have to form a union with Izzie. He could have just formed a union with their baby.

Even though Meredith could tell that Alex was doing his best to put all his effort into that relationship, it always seemed like he was struggling with struggling.

As a friend, Meredith could address her concerns to Izzie, but Alex always told her not to worry, and to not get Izzie worried just because she thought something was off in their relationship. He would say, 'This is about me, Izzie, and that little girl. We're happy, and just because you think I'm half-assing this relationship, it doesn't mean it's true. And it doesn't mean you have to get Izzie worried about nothing.'

So she'd have to let it be. Even if she found it the oddest thing in the world that he would call Marie, _their _baby or _that little girl _two-thirds of the time. And even stranger that the girl's eyes and her smile, reminded her of anyone but Izzie or Alex.

"Are you okay, Meredith?" Derek asked his fiancee.

"Yeah," she turned to him. "I am great. I am engaged. To McDreamy. I am bright and shiny," she smiled.

He smiled back at her, but knew what she was concerned over.

"If they say they're fine, Meredith, they're fine. Everyone's relationship is different," he said referring to Alex and Izzie.

"You're right," she shrugged.

"Course I am."

Playfully she swatted him, "Shut up."

--

"So do you think Dr. Montgomery's going to stay?" Izzie pondered.

Acting indifferently, he shrugged and took a swig of water.

"Hmm, well I invited everyone over for dinner."

Suddenly cautious of what she was saying, he leaned over, and cocked an eyebrow.

"Everyone?"

"Yeah. Meredith, Derek, Christina, Lexie…the usual," she shrugged.

Sighing in relief, he leaned back in his chair, and continued drinking his water.

"And Dr. Montgomery and her boyfriend."

This time, the water didn't go down so well, however.


	6. Chapter 5

**Title:** Leave a Trail (5/x)  
**Rating:** T  
**Character(s)/Pairing(s):** Addison Montgomery, Alex Karev, Izzie Stevens, Kevin Nelson; est. Kevin/Addison  
**Summary: **Set a few years post season four, Addison Montgomery finds herself back at Seattle Grace, albeit to find that things are quite different. Along with her life set and in order, she sees that many of the doctors have also come to terms with love life. As time progresses, however, these doctors will witness the phrase 'the more things change, the more they stay the same' manifest. (AU post mid-S4)  
**Note:** I'm really going to try to reply to reviews rather soonish, but know that I appreciate all of your feedback. My livejournal peep, **torigates**, deserves some mad props for helping overlook this particular chapter! And well, hope you enjoy. ;)

* * *

She felt the eyes on her as she left the hospital, and almost felt guilty at leaving them all hanging after doing that surgery. Especially after suddenly leaving four years ago. But that was her career, and career choices were ones to be respected. The only thing that truly injected a bout of guilt in her was the fact that so many lives passed through that same OR that she could have aided. Even though she helped quite some people in Los Angeles, there definitely was a more surmountable amount of people who must have passed through Seattle.

Almost numbly, and after a very long lecture from Bailey about leaving without saying any goodbyes, she and Kevin got back in the car and drove to the hotel.

"It seems as though you have survived a day in Seattle Grace Hospital," he grinned.

"It seems as though I have," she sighed.

After a moment, he said, "I guess you'll survive a night with a few members of the staff then?"

Abruptly, she sat up in the car seat, and looked at him alarmingly.

"What?"

"That Dr. Stevens invited us over for dinner. Said Derek and Meredith, along with several others, would be there."

Laughing as though it were a joke, she asked," and you turned her down, right?"

Kevin in turn only gave her the crack of a half-smile, and kept his eyes on the road. She nearly killed him that late afternoon.

--

"This is a nice little place. It's not Meredith's place, so Dr. Stevens must have moved out…" Addison observed the apartment they had been directed to.

Meanwhile, Kevin knocked on the door and rung the bell, irritated at Addison's worries.

"I wonder if she lives on her own…" she kept mumbling.

Finally, the door swung open, and Addison ceased her murmurings.

"Dr. Grey!" Addison exclaimed a little too cheerfully.

"I think we should start going on first name basis," Meredith replied as the two hugged. She welcomed them inside, and they stepped into a fairly large living room, with a sofa and a couple of comforters faced towards a plasma TV. There were two entry ways, with one on their left, and another on the other end of the living room, where they could see a small flight of stairs.

In the living room sat Derek and Christina, watching what seemed to be the Discovery Channel.

Meredith invited them to sit on the couch, as she explained that Izzie was just finishing up the food, and wouldn't let anyone into her kitchen.

Derek and Christina quickly greeted them, and Addison and Kevin sat on the same couch as Derek, away from Christina who obviously didn't want anyone very close to her.

"So Addison, how were you roped into coming to this little dinner party?" Derek grinned at her knowingly. He knew Addison would not willingly partake in this.

"Kevin here, accepted Dr. Steven's invitation on our behalf," she muttered.

"It's just your luck that you arrived on the very night that Izzie has her weekly get-togethers," Derek chuckled.

"Weekly get-togethers?" Addison furrowed her brows--was Stevens really like one of those women who set up friendly, social events? Wasn't that usually reserved for the more motherly, and married women? Addison almost slapped herself then, for stereotyping, and anyway, it wasn't too unusual for Dr. Stevens to organize such things.

She shrugged to herself, and turned to Kevin, who gave her a comforting smile.

Looking at him, she remembered the first time he asked her out, and how she let him down to go out with Pete instead. But she should have known that relationships with fellow doctors never worked out, so after several more invitations, she had finally accepted Kevin's offer. He was a good man, as a good police officer should be. And he was good-looking to boot--tall, dark blond hair, lucid blue eyes, and a built frame. He was the type of man that every woman wanted, and she had been fortunate in that he was loyal and trustworthy as well.

The room was silent for several minutes, as everyone pretended to be interested in the special playing on the television set, when suddenly the door burst open.

Addison's head immediately turned to the door, and in walked Alex, in sweats and a wifebeater, covered in sweat.

"Hey," he gave everyone a tight smile.

He nodded to acknowledge the people in the room, bumped Derek's fist in typical male fashion, shot Christina a look (and she in turn stuck her tongue out at him), and walked past everyone. Addison kept her eyes on him as he disappeared in the direction of the stairs.

This implemented the idea that he lived there, meaning that he and Stevens were...living together?

She almost asked this, but deemed the question a bit too interpersonal to bring up. She mentally shook her head and leaned back into the couch. A few minutes would pass when Meredith would walk back in, and tell everyone the table was set. She led them to the dining room which was right beside the kitchen. Addison waved to Izzie, and the two smiled at one another while the guests seated themselves. Just as they sat down, Alex returned in jeans and a dress shirt.

Addison saw him walk past the table briskly and into the kitchen. She could not see the kitchen clearly because there was a wall between the kitchen and the diner, with only a semi-large window view and an entry way. She could, however, see Alex stop near the opposite side of the window view where Izzie stood, and he leaned over to give her a kiss on the cheek, and then to whisper something in her ear. After he few minutes he walked back towards the dining table with a couple of salad bowls in hand,

"How's everyone doing?" he asked with a soft smile, while setting down the bowls.

Everyone answered fine, and waited for Izzie to come into the dining room. When she did go in, Izzie sat down next to Alex, prompting Christina to reach for the salad bowl, but Meredith slapped it away.

"Ow, what was that for!" she shook her hand.

"Not everyone's here," Meredith hissed, and turned to Addison with a smile. "Lexie should be on her way," she explained.

Addison smiled in return, and right on cue, the doorbell rang. Izzie got up immediately, and practically ran to the door.

"She goes a couple of hours without seeing her, and she goes into psycho mode," Christina mumbled, irritated that she wasn't yet eating.

Addison furrowed her brows, not quite sure what to make of that statement--why would Izzie miss Meredith's sister? Addison eyed the entrance of the dining room and perked up her ears when she heard a bit of commotion coming from the living room. She tilted her head to catch a glance of whatever was occurring, and as Izzie came into her view, Addison saw that Izzie was carrying a little girl in her arms. The girl looked to be two, close to three years of age and she had dark blond hair, just past her shoulders, and bright blue eyes. Although not entirely visible, she had a few freckles on her face, along with a defined, but soft little nose, and she had a wide mouth. She looked almost completely like her mother, but her most distinctive feature, the big blue eyes, didn't resemble her mother's--well, Addison could only surmise that Stevens was her mother.

"Say hi to everyone sweetie," Izzie whispered into the young girl's ear.

The girl held onto her mother with one hand, turned to the table full of people, raised her other hand, and wearily waved to the group. Slowly, but surely, the straight line on her mouth turned into a light smile, but her eyes particularly fell on Addison. As if reading her mind, Izzie said," That's Dr. Montgomery."

Addison chuckled, and interjected. "It's Addison," she smiled at the girl.

"Addison," the girl repeated, almost with precision. "I'm Marie," she recited with exact precision.

"Marie?" Addison smiled," that is such a pretty name."

The girl giggled, and she pointed to Kevin. "He doctor, too?"

At this, everyone at the table laughed. Derek, who was sitting across from Addison, leaned over and whispered, "She's used to having doctors around."

That tidbit wasn't entirely a surprise.

"This is Kevin, and he's a cop," Addison explained.

"Oh," the girl drew out, "He save people too?"

They laughed again, and nodded yes to her. She proceeded to scramble out of her mother's arm, and bounced over to Addison.

She tilted her head, and looked up at her with big eyes.

"Hi!" Marie exclaimed as she stuck her hand out to Addison, which garnered a genuine smile from Addison.

"Hello," Addison returned the greeting and shook the little girl's hand, who turned out to have a pretty strong grip for a toddler.

"You're pretty," Marie said then, but she seemed more struck with Addison's hair than any other feature. Marie swung around, and looked in the direction of her mom.

"Right mommy, daddy?"

Not having really thought out who Marie's father could be, Addison looked in Izzie's direction, confusion growing steadily as Addison could not recall Izzie being a relationship before she headed to LA. But relationships weren't exactly a prerequisite for pregnancies anymore and stranger things had happened, thus she maintained her composure. But the only men she saw near Izzie were Derek and Alex, and Derek was currently engaged to Meredith. So that would make it the father...Alex. Alex looked at Addison for a second, and briefly a weary look flashed over him, but it was hardly noticeable.

Gently, Alex turned his eyes to Marie, and answered in his most casual voice, "Right" and with a smirk added, "You know only pretty girls are allowed in this house. And Christina."

"Alex," Izzie chastised him.

"What?" he laughed, while Christina rolled her eyes.

Izzie proceeded to pick Marie up, and Alex got up to set up a high chair that had been resting against the wall, a high chair Addison had failed to notice. She failed to notice a lot, apparently. Dr. Alex Karev had a kid, a little girl, with Dr. Isobel Stevens. And he didn't look too out of place. He helped Izzie put Marie in her chair, and kissed the girl on her hair. He shifted around to sit on the other end of the table, so both parents were on either side of the girl. Addison, who sat on the other end of the table, forced her eyes away. No matter how much she had laid the past to rest, the news of Alex having a daughter with Izzie gave her the slightest of jolts. But a jolt nonetheless.


	7. Chapter 6

**Title:** Leave a Trail (6/x)  
**Rating:** T  
**Character(s)/Pairing(s):** Addison Montgomery, Alex Karev, Izzie Stevens, Kevin Nelson; est. Kevin/Addison  
**Summary: **Set a few years post season four, Addison Montgomery finds herself back at Seattle Grace, albeit to find that things are quite different. Along with her life set and in order, she sees that many of the doctors have also come to terms with love life. As time progresses, however, these doctors will witness the phrase 'the more things change, the more they stay the same' manifest. (AU post mid-S4)  
**Note:** I want to give a big shout-out to **gingertwist** right now. So glad you're liking this thus far, & in addition to thanking you for your review for this last chapter, I want to thank you for your review on Don't Ever. You have no idea how big of a smile your review gave me! Thanks so much. Thanks to everyone and well, here goes a chapter I'm particularly fond of. ;)

* * *

Dinner, for the most part, was a success. Save for a few jabs between Christina and everyone else, the night went well enough. Marie was a pretty calm child, one prone to ask questions and give inquisitive gazes, but she was adorably sweet.

When everyone finished eating, they dispersed through the house. Derek excused himself to watch a game or another, and Kevin left too (apparently both were baseball fanatics). Cristina and Meredith also left to the living room, although their purpose was probably to gossip. Izzie stayed, and began picking up, and Addison offered to help. However, when Marie began nodding off, Izzie jumped into action and took care of her.

"I'll take her up," Alex said when Marie began rubbing her eyes.

"Are you sure, 'cause I can do it," Izzie said in turn. He chuckled and said alright, and that he would finish cleaning up.

By the time she had left, Addison had begun cleaning the dishes, so Alex began drying them to make more room.

"She loves devoting any free time to her," Alex whispered, explaining why Izzie had been so anxious.

Addison, half-smiled, and nodded whilst she kept washing.

After a while, she commented, "You have a lovely daughter, Karev." She noticed that it took him a moment or two to respond.

"Uh, yeah, she's really something. She's a lot like Izzie."

She turned her head a bit, giving him a glance that made him smirk.

"What?" he chuckled.

"Nothing, nothing," she turned back to the dishes.

"Hey, if you've have something to say--"

"I don't, I don't," but she failed in that lie. "Alright, it's just strange, seeing you, Dr. Alex Karev, as a father. It's a strange sight, that much is sure."

He laughed lightly, and responded, "Tell me about it. Sometimes I have to do a double-take, but it's got its perks, you know?"

"Yeah? Like what?"

"Like knowing that the only thing she expects from me is a hug here and there, food once in a while, and for me to make her laugh."

She turned to look at him completely, and he wore a smile, as he spoke with sincerity.

"Well, would you look at that? Karev has a soft side," she teased him.

He laughed, but soon the air of quietness settled in, and a noticeable tension rose.

They quickly finished the dishes, but they couldn't seem to find another topic. When he put away the final dish, they twiddled their thumbs for a second or two, when Addison spoke.

She cleared her throat and asked, "So how old is she?"

"She's two. Gonna turn three in a few months."

"Wow."

"Yeah," he nodded, their gazes not quite meeting, until he brought his gaze directly onto hers.

"Listen, Addison, I know I was a real jerk, and--"

She closed her eyes and sighed, "Don't Alex. It's in the past. We all made mistakes. All of us. Seattle Grace was like a breeding ground for problems, dilemmas, and major mistakes. I've made my peace with it, Dr. Grey has as well, and seemingly you and Stevens have as well. We should leave it at that."

He hesitated, although what she saw was a bit of uncertainty. For him, it seemed a bit off for things to be completely brushed off without more being said, but it probably was best just to let it go and lay it to rest so he nodded and said "okay."

"Alright," she laughed nervously and glanced at her watch. "God, it's late," she murmured, "I should head home. Tell Dr. Stevens that the dinner was wonderful, and…thanks for opening your home to us."

"Uh, yeah," he answered, and she turned to leave.

--

Kevin had looked at the clock in the living room, and noticed it was nearing midnight. He excused himself and walked to the kitchen, to grab Addison, but slowed down when he heard her conversing with that Dr. Karev.

"…she expects from me is a hug here and there, food once in a while, and for me to make her laugh."

"Well, would you look at that? Karev has a soft side," she teased him.

In response, Kevin heard the man laugh, but it got quiet for a moment. He considered stepping in then, and he wasn't feeling too good about eavesdropping, but he stopped when Addison cleared her throat.

"So how old is she?" he heard Addison ask.

"She's two. Gonna turn three in a few months."

"Wow."

"Yeah." There was another quiet pause, and he didn't know why, but it caused some uneasiness in him

"Listen, Addison, I know I was a real jerk, and--"

Even from where he was standing, he could hear her sigh, and now he really had no idea what was going on.

"Don't Alex. It's in the past. We all made mistakes. All of us. Seattle Grace was like a breeding ground for problems, dilemmas, and major mistakes. I've made my peace with it, Dr. Grey has as well, and seemingly you and Stevens have as well. We should leave it at that."

Kevin knew what she meant by that, but what did this Alex Karev have to do with the whole mess in that hospital? So far as he could remember, she had never even mentioned him before. He burrowed his brows, and decided now was as good a time as any. He walked to turn the corner into the kitchen, when Addison finally came out.

"Oh, Kevin, I was just coming to get you. You ready?"

"Yeah," he did his best to smile at her. "I already said bye to Meredith, Derek, and that Dr. Christina Yang."

"And I told Karev to say goodbye and thanks to Stevens on our behalf."

"Good, good," he smiled wearily, "so let's go."

Addison and Kevin returned to their hotel room, and accommodated themselves to go to sleep. While Addison finished changing into her pajamas, Kevin decided to inquire about the following day's activities.

"You plan on going back to the hospital for a visit, Addison?"

Addison moved her hair from her face and took a seat beside him on the bed.

"Unfortunately," she sighed, and then elaborated," the Chief got a hold of my number and demanded I go back down tomorrow morning, so we could have a meeting of sorts."

"Seattle Grace was not as bad as you described it Addison," he laughed, not knowing why she resented being there.

"That's what they want you think--they lure you in, with the nice staff, and the needy patients who would die without your care, but as soon as you decide to stay, the staff begins rumors on you and patients come back for more."

He laughed at her again, and she lightly punched his shoulder.

"Good night, Kevin," she mumbled as she snuggled herself into the bed, letting the day's events rest for the night.

--

"That was so great, what you did Alex. You and Addison totally kicked ass in that surgery," Izzie kept proclaiming as she pulled the sheets back.

"You're going to wake Marie if you keep going on like that."

"Ri-_igh_t. She's such a heavy sleeper. Like--" she stopped herself abruptly, "Lexie," she recovered quickly. "I storm into an on-call room to get her up, and geez, it's like it takes a bulldozer for her to get up."

Alex didn't notice switch in subjects.

"Good thing we got her that three set alarm clock then, huh?"

"She calls them a Godsend. And a nightmare."

They took their usual places in bed, with Izzie fitting herself onto her side of the bed. Laying in bed beside her never felt entirely uncomfortable, because they respected and maintained their boundaries. However, when on occasion he awoke to finding her snuggling into him, he would have to do a double take. Then he'd remember how and why she was there, and the constriction in him would subside, if all for a moment. Rarely would he feel extremely uncomfortable though, because her burying herself in the…comfort of him, felt akin to holding her when she cried, grasping, trying to hold onto what she could before it slipped from her fingers. So fragile and afraid of losing more in her world, she would go to him or Meredith or George, or all three even, and just try to hold on. And she would hold on through the night, as she fell asleep but subconsciously her fingers held onto the hems of shirts. Sometimes, she wouldn't even be crying--she would just be melancholy, on the verge of remembering tragedy, so she would hold on.

That's what these nights felt like more often than not. Though she would sleep on her side of the bed, sometimes she had her head buried in his neck, her hand on his chest, her hand on his forearm. Izzie was strong and resolute, but sometimes something kicked in--be it some defensive mechanism or just some innate need to be drawn to a warm object--and he'd find her right beside him. Many times, it just felt like those old times when she would come to him as a friend. Like when the whole George affair left her disheartened or something like when she got pregnant and the father had long gone, had messed her up so badly. But for that first second in the mornings when he'd awaken with Izzie holding onto him, there was that little voice that said this wasn't just a friends thing anymore.

--

Waking up to the warmth of Alex's chest instilled the inch of comfortableness she just needed to feel once in awhile. Alex had his words and his actions towards Marie, and he had the determination to keep everyone in that household content at least. But this warmth she felt when she managed to have it, was another type of comfort that she dearly missed at times. She only hated having to shrug off that strange feeling she'd get every morning (eight times out of ten) when she would awake holding a pillow instead. She got that Alex was just the type of guy that woke up before the girl, but was he on automatic pilot more often than not?

She would have to shrug it off though, just like she'd shrug off the fact that Alex could be so distant sometimes. Some days, he would disappear for a few hours, then come home and not say a word. He was always there for her though, and more importantly for Marie. She dared not complain simply for that fact--Alex had done and given more for her than anyone else, all without ever owing her a thing.

If anything, she owed him--big time. He had voluntary changed his world for her and Marie, and for that she would always be thankful and indebted to him. It didn't stop the ache of loneliness she would get once in a while though, or her desire for a companionship that went beyond debt. Because often times, that's how her relationship with Alex felt.


	8. Chapter 7

**Title:** Leave a Trail (7/x)  
**Rating:** T  
**Character(s)/Pairing(s):** Addison Montgomery, Alex Karev, Izzie Stevens, Kevin Nelson; est. Kevin/Addison  
**Summary: **Set a few years post season four, Addison Montgomery finds herself back at Seattle Grace, albeit to find that things are quite different. Along with her life set and in order, she sees that many of the doctors have also come to terms with love life. As time progresses, however, these doctors will witness the phrase 'the more things change, the more they stay the same' manifest. (AU post mid-S4)  
**Note:** I totally forgot to update this fic over here. I sincerely apologize, and I can only hope that you like this installment. Thank you to those reading, and especially to those reviewing, by the way! :)

* * *

Going into the meeting with Richard, she was positive of one thing--he wanted her back on staff at Seattle Grace Hospital, and he would do anything do make that happen.

Thus Addison came mentally prepared to refute any and all of his solicitation attempts, because as great as that surgery from the day before had felt, it wasn't enough for her to uproot her life once again. Especially not for a hospital that she had uprooted her life for once before, only to have disastrous results.

Richard could drive quite the bargain though. She really thought she was prepared to rebut all of his offers, but she could only resist so much. Realizing she could not pass up the chance to work in an actual hospital during her stay in Seattle, she drew up some prerequisites of her own. She wanted several conditions, such as limited work hours and days off, met. Although he was not entirely pleased with her conditions, Richard met her agreement believing that in time, she would find herself caught up in hospital duties and surgeries so much, she would never leave. As it was however, Dr. Addison Montgomery would aide Dr. Brandon with the work cases load on a part-time basis, but she would be treated with as much respect (if not more so) as the regular attendings.

Of course, she would first have to confront Dr. Brandon about this. Since she very well knew how difficult surgeons could be, it wasn't a confrontation she wanted to partake in. Thankfully, the Chief had said he would inform him, thus she would not have to be the informant. However, by the time she had reached the nurses station to grab some cases, Dr. Brandon had already been informed by the gossip-hungry nurses.

"So, come to steal my job?" he said with a biting tone while she flipped through the cases the nurse had pointed her to.pr

She sighed and turned to him. "I'm only here to help, Dr. Brandon--that is why we're doctors, correct?"

"Then you won't mind splitting the cases I give you, with the resident, will you?"

He gave her a tight smile and reached over to the files to take no less than half of the cases.

"I'm sure you'll be able to cooperate very nicely with Dr. Karev," he said with a firm nod and an obnoxious smile.

Her eyes widened, and she opened her mouth to protest, "Dr. Brandon, you really think it mature to--"

"I'd love to stay and talk, but I have patients to get to Dr. Montgomery."

When he left she inhaled deeply and turned to the cases she was left with, irritated at how immature some surgeons could be. And just in time, Dr. Alex Karev walked up beside her and grabbed all the charts, and tucked them under his arm.

"What do you think you're doing?" she said calmly, turning to him a bit.

He smirked and said, "And good morning to you, too, Dr. Montgomery."

"Ha, ha," she mocked, and pulled the charts from him.

"Hey!" he protested, and she smirked in return.

"These are my cases, Dr. Karev, and as of right now, you are my resident," she cocked an eyebrow, pushing his patience.

"Really? Because last I checked, I was a full-time, on call resident for this hospital, whereas you are a temp. surgeon."

"Oh, so you heard?" she tilted her head and kept a hold of the charts.

He nodded softly, and crossed his arms. "Dr. Brandon took half of the cases, didn't he?"

She affirmed this with one nod, and he continued, "So either we split 'em, or we work together?"

"It appears so, Karev."

"So what do you wanna do?"

She opened her mouth slightly, and squinted her eyes, and in a drawn out voice, said, "If we split them, we'll have less cases but at least we won't get in each other's way."

"But if we work together," he quickly said, "we'd each get more cases and the patients would have two doctors helping the."

"That is quite the proposition Karev."

"So what to do you say?"

She raised an eyebrow and grinned--maybe working the grounds of Seattle Grace Hospital once again wouldn't be so bad.

--

Kevin was already in the cafeteria by the time Addison and Alex finished up with a patient and decided to break for lunch. Each went their respective ways--Addison with Kevin, and Alex with Izzie. Except that Kevin was not alone--he sat with Derek.

"Kevin," Addison walked over and kissed him on the cheek, "and Derek."

"Addison," he offered her a smile.

She smiled in return and took a seat beside Kevin, "You two are sitting together."

"Always one to point out the obvious," Derek stated.

She rolled her eyes and eyed the paper bags on the table.

"What'd you bring?" she asked while she grabbed the bags to look inside.

"Chicken, some corn on the cob, and rice," Kevin answered.

"There's enough in here for a few people," Addison commented as she took out the food.

"Just in case. Never know when you'll have to share, Addie. And...I've gotta go. I just dropped by to see you really quick."

"What? You have somewhere else you have to be?" Addison inquired.

"Uh, I met with some local police officers earlier, and they invited me to join one of their stake-outs."

"Kevin…" Addison sighed.

"Hey, you're working on your vacation, why can't I? Anyway, it's not anything dangerous."

She raked her fingers through her hair and twitched her nose.

"Fair enough," she crossed her arms, showing she wasn't all too happy.

He stood up, and bent down to plant a kiss on her cheek. "That's why I love you," he whispered, then left.

"Well aren't you two quite the pair," Derek chuckled after Kevin left.

"Shut up," she muttered, "Where's Meredith?"

"She should be on her break soon--eat while you can, otherwise she'll finish the whole thing on her own."

She nodded and began serving herself on a plate, and as she did so, she decided to ask him about something that had been on her mind for awhile.

She put the food aside for a moment, and leaned over to Derek.

"Derek, how come I have not seen nor heard a thing about Mark?"

Derek shifted in his seat, and he opened his mouth slightly, then closed it. He sat upright in his seat, and imitated her by leaning forward.

"Um, about three years ago, Mark got a call from his mother--

Addison laughed, "His mother never calls, unless--"

"Unless she's in a really tight spot that her husband can't get her out of. I know, but her husband died."

"Oh," she paused, "wow, I had no idea."

"Yeah, well when he passed on, apparently his two kids from his previous marriage tried taking over the company Mark's mother co-founded. The company  
Mark's _father_ founded. And she swore to Mark that she couldn't handle the situation on her own."

"Hence, the call to Mark."

"Yeah," he nodded.

"And Mark never could let go of his own dad's memory," Addison murmured as she shook her head.

"Yeah, so when he heard that they were trying to take the company his own dad created, he couldn't say no."

"You know, this may be completely out of line, but Mark's mother is now a two-time widow, and that's in addition to the divorce she had before she married Mark's dad--you have to wonder how Mark could survive being near that woman." She realized her comment sounded morbid, but Addison did feel genuinely worried for Mark, because his mother had always been a major issue in his life.

"That didn't stop him--he didn't even wait to tell anyone before he ran back to New York. He got the call, got the first plane out, and left. I only found out because he called me at the airport, and by then I couldn't convince him to stay. He said he called the Chief who apparently was completely understanding. He tried calling Izzie but she didn't answer, so I had to relay the mess--"

"Hold on," Addison stopped him, not sure she had heard him right, and so she repeated after Derek, "He tried calling Izzie?"

"Right…" Derek nodded to himself, having momentarily forgotten that Addison clearly had no idea that Izzie had befriended Mark of all people. He chuckled to himself and looked back at Addison to briefly explain to her why Mark would call Izzie.

"Not too long after you left, Izzie and Mark struck up a friendship of sorts. In less than a year, those two became like pretty good friends. They even sparked a rumor here and there, but they continued their friendship. And when he wasn't with Callie, and Izzie wasn't with Alex or Meredith, ten to one they were out and about together."

"Derek, you're starting to sound like a gossip columnist. Callie? Mark and Stevens _friends_? Good friends? And was this before the George debacle or afterwards?" Addison was clearly perplexed over these things, as everything was sounding so nonsensical.

"After George. And about the same time they became friends, Mark began seeing Callie. That lasted about a few months, but yeah, he and Izzie friends."

"Well, who would have thought?"

--

"So, how is it going with Dr. Montgomery so far?" Izzie asked Alex after he settled into his seat at the table.

"It was fine," he coolly said.

"Good," she smiled at him and tried catching his gaze, but failed.

"How was Marie this morning?" Alex ignited a conversation that put focus elsewhere.

"Good. Really good. I spent a couple of hours with her. Helped clean her room, went to the park for a little, then sent her off to daycare. She's growing up so fast, Alex. I mean, it feels like just yesterday I was holding her in my arms--"

"You were holding her just yesterday," Alex interrupted her, "and she's only two years old, Iz."

She slapped him on the arm, and corrected him--"She's almost three."

"In four months."

"Whatever, Alex. And why are you so touchy today?"

He looked up from his food and smiled tightly. "Sorry, just some of the cases have me stressed."

Izzie nodded, but knew that he wasn't being completely truthful--it seemed as though he never was with her, but she felt as though she hadn't the right to delve too much into that arena.

To reassure her, however, he squeezed her hand and smiled softly at her before taking quick glance to his left to look at Addison for a second. He then he returned his concentration to the food in front of him, and the woman beside him.


	9. Chapter 8

**Title:** Leave a Trail (8/x)  
**Rating:** T  
**Character(s)/Pairing(s):** Addison Montgomery, Alex Karev, Izzie Stevens, Kevin Nelson; est. Kevin/Addison  
**Summary: **Set a few years post season four, Addison Montgomery finds herself back at Seattle Grace, albeit to find that things are quite different. Along with her life set and in order, she sees that many of the doctors have also come to terms with love life. As time progresses, however, these doctors will witness the phrase 'the more things change, the more they stay the same' manifest. (AU post mid-S4)  
**Note:**Eek, ya'll have every right t shoot me right now! I'm so sorry for taking this long to update! But thanks to those who have reviewed and those still sticking with this! Alright, here goes--enjoy!

* * *

In the course of two weeks, Addison and Alex fell into a routine similar, but very unlike to the one they had before Addison left. They bickered less often however, their conflicts were not solved with yelling and torturous payback, but there did not seem to be anymore awkward silences. They would even be complimented by patients on how well the two worked together. They were more interested in Dr. Montgomery's tenure at Seattle Grace Hospital however, asking her how long she was staying, and if ever they were to need help in that department again, they would love to have her as their doctor.

Working with more than three patients a day, and participating in more surgeries, Addison began feeling more important and useful, just within two weeks.

Her boyfriend, Kevin, would help out the local law enforcement when Addison worked--although they were supposed to be on vacation, this seemed to work. They only worked part-time, and they each respectively felt that the burdens were less here than in California.

The fact that Addison was working with a man that once caused her so much trouble did not weigh heavily on her mind. She was aware that now Alex was a family man, that he had responsibilities, and that he was loyal and respectful. It only served as a reason for him to admire him, not to say she didn't feel a bit strange knowing how much Alex had changed.

It wasn't so long ago that Alex Karev had pushed her away, acted like he was light years away from settling down. And not even a year after she left, he began a relationship with Izzie, leading up to a baby, and a home. He was committed, although not married, he had settled down. It was admirable, even if she had trouble making sense of how quickly he had changed.

But the real mystery in all this was that little girl. She dropped by on occasion, and the nurses so smitten by her charm, would voluntarily take care of her while her parents worked. Her hair reached the middle of her back, it was a dark blond, with brown patches. The nose was definitely her mothers, as were her cheeks. Her chin was not quite the same, but similar--it had a bit more definition but still looked round. She was pretty tall for a two year old, and her fingers were long, her hands noticeably strong. But whenever Addison looked at her, examined her, she could not find anything that really screamed Marie being Alex's daughter.

"She has blue eyes," one day Addison commented to Callie as they sat at a table close to that of Alex and Izzie's, who had Marie with her.

"What?" she didn't know what she was referring to.

"Karev's and Steven's daughter--she has blue eyes," Addison clarified, turning to Callie.

"Oh, that," Callie nodded. "Yeah, apparently, Alex's dad had blue eyes, or so say Alex, I don't know. But Steven's mom does have blue eyes."

"How do you know?" Addison inquired.

"Oh, when Stevens was like six months into her pregnancy, her mom popped in to supposedly make amends or whatever. But even I could tell that old witch was trouble, and Alex handled her. She managed to stay a while, but soon as she caused a little trouble with the patients, they managed to get a restraining order. But yeah, her eyes were definitely blue."

"Well, it's not often a kid gets a recessive gene."

"I know, lucky bast--"

"Callie!" Addison chastised her.

"I meant her parents! For having a kid with such beautiful eyes! Geez, Addison no need to get so offended," Callie laughed at the situation.

Addison rolled her eyes at the friend, and turned back to look at the little girl. Even with that bit of information, she couldn't help but feel there was something out of place. Perhaps because she still had trouble understanding how someone like Izzie Stevens could possibly befriend someone like Mark Sloan.

--

"Stevens, do you have a moment?" Addison called her over after the day ended. Each had already changed and apparently were headed home.

"Sure," she nodded, "but you have to call me Izzie."

Addison smiled and nodded. They took a seat in the waiting area, and Addison quickly spoke.

"I asked Derek what happened to Mark, and he mentioned that the two of you were friends."

Izzie tensed, though she maintained her composure, and only nodded softly.

"Uh, yeah, for awhile before he left, I guess we were what you would call friends," she chuckled nervously.

"How did that come about--if you don't mind my asking."

She slowly parted her mouth, and inhaled softly. "It's fine, I guess…I was headed to the bar one day, and he came up to me and we talked for awhile. Eventually us talking turned into a kind of daily thing, and…we were friends," she shrugged.

Addison thought the explanation to be a bit too simple, but accepted it. "So have you heard from him since he left? Because Derek said he hasn't."

Izzie's gaze faltered, and her hands began to fidget. "No, I haven't, no."

"Strange…" Addison muttered.

"Yeah, but what can you do?" Izzie shrugged again, then looked down at her watch. "Sorry, Addison, I have to get home and cook."

"Oh, sure," Addison stood up as did Izzie.

"Alright, bye," Izzie scurried, getting away from the conversation as quickly as possible. Once she made it in her car, she exhaled in relief. She hated talking about Mark, about how he left, and how he never once called her. Her best anecdote, according to her, was to pretend it did not affect her. Because the last thing she needed was for anyone to know how Mark Sloan could still affect her after three years.

Addison took note of how Izzie was hesitant to speak about Mark, of how she had just shrugged the matter off, but this wasn't her business. In a month and a half, she would be gone from this place, so there was no use in complicating her stay by meddling in other people's affairs.

--

"Sorry, I'm late," Alex leaned over and whispered into Addison's after he rushed into their patient's room.

She nodded to acknowledge him then continued speaking to the patient, explaining why she would have to remain in the hospital four to five more days.

When she finally finished, both she and Alex stepped outside where Addison asked why he had come late.

"You left me hanging there, Karev. Ms. Williams was specifically asking for you earlier, but I could not provide an adequate reason for why her doctor was not guiding her through surgery."

"I said I was sorry. Marie's babysitter got a cold, and Izzie didn't want Marie catching it, so we had to bring her with us."

"She's here?" Addison asked curiously, wondering how a little girl in the hospital would fare.

"Yeah, the nurses are taking turns with her."

Addison sighed and muttered, "fine, just send out a notice or something if this ever happens again."

"Of course--and we meant too, but things got hectic and--"

Alex ceased speaking when he noticed that Addison's eyes were diverted elsewhere. Her eyes were wide, brows scrunched up, and mouth slightly open.

"What?" he asked and turned his head to look in the direction her eyes were pointed.

"Is that…?" she whispered, and he finished her thought--

"Sloan and Burke."

Alex and Addison turned their eyes back to one another, with surprised expressions.

"Ten to one Richard knew they were coming and decided to spring the surprise on us," she murmured.

"Yeah," Alex chuckled, not allowing for the nerves that abruptly possessed him to openly show.

Addison grinned and cocked an eyebrow at him. "Might as well say hello," she said and stalked off in their direction.

Alex watched her walk towards them, watched the faces of the attendings who had left the hospital and messes behind for others to clean up. His hands formed in a fist, he felt his throat tighten, and then he breathed. He tore his eyes away from Burke and Sloan, and stalked off in the opposite direction--he had a message to spread to a particular someone.

--

"Well look who we have here."

Addison's voice definitely came as a surprise to Mark Sloan and Preston Burke, as seen with their wide-eyed expressions.

"Dr. Montgomery. It's a pleasure to see you," Burke said mannerly.

He smiled at her, and she returned the smile but did not accept the hand he extended to her.

"It's a pleasure to see you too, Preston, but a handshake is not the way to show that," she smirked and opened her arms, inviting him in for a hug.

He chuckled, but accepted it. Then came Mark, who looked at her with a skeptical look.

"What, not even a hello?" Addison teased him.

"I'm confused," he tilted his head and eyed her wearily.

"Why is that?"

"Well, you definitely weren't here by the time I left."

"And I wasn't here until one month ago, just as you weren't."

He grinned at her and nodded his head.

"It's good to see you then."

He opened his arms and stepped forward, but this time Addison chuckled and stepped back herself.

"What, no hug!" he exclaimed.

"I'm not sure if I can trust you Mark," she bit back a smile.

"Believe me, Addison, I am a reformed man."

Addison shifted her eyes from Mark to Burke, who gave her one nod, but she couldn't quite believe it. Mark noted this when Addison gave her that look that tended to intimidate anyone and everyone around her.

"Okay, maybe not, but I have no intention on hitting on anyone. Probably. Call me at the end of the day. But how about that hug now?"

She stared at him for some seconds, but then broke out in a laugh and accepted his gesture. They hugged for some seconds, when Mark whispered, "so on-call room, in 20 minutes?"

She rolled her eyes and pulled her right arm back to punch him softly in the ribs.

"Ow, I was just kidding!" he laughed while wincing.

"You better be, Sloan, otherwise I'll need to have my boyfriend arrest you for sexual harassment."

At that comment, Mark knew that aside from his own story to tell Addison, she had her own one to tell him.

--

"So you talk to Sloan?" Callie whispered to her as they walked a corridor.

"Yep," Addison nodded.

"So…what'd he say?"

"Nothing," she shrugged.

"Oh come on, Addison. I need some juicy gossip, I've been seriously deprived."

Addison stopped in her steps and turned to her friend.

"Perhaps then, you can divulge me on what exactly happened with O' Malley."

Callie shook her head. "Nothing happened, Addison. We got divorced, we hardly ever talked again, and a couple of months ago he transferred to Mercy West. The end. So it's your turn now."

Addison wasn't sure what to make of her friend's hasty and dry statement, but she wouldn't push on.

"Alright. Mark actually didn't say much. Just that Burke moved to New York some time after Sloan got there, they ran into each other, struck up some friendship, ended up going to a medical convention where none other than the Chief was attending and they all got to talking. Which led to Burke and Sloan returning. Permanently."

"Wow, aren't those a bunch of coincidences," Callie remarked.

Addison nodded and commented, "knowing Richard, he found out Preston and Mark were going to that particular convention and conveniently made plans to attend as well."

Callie laughed. "Yeah, probably," and she paused as she raised an eyebrow at Addison.

"This isn't going to be weird for you, is it?"

"Is what going to be weird?"

"You know, Sloan and Karev in the same place with your boyfriend hanging around," she whispered.

Addison sighed, but rolled her eyes. "Callie, that is all history. I'm with Kevin. I love Kevin. We're all grown, mature adults. Well, maybe not Mark, but I can handle myself, thank you very much."

Callie sent her a skeptical look, but determined her friend was right (probably, hopefully). Things had changed, and there was no reason to think otherwise.


	10. Chapter 9

**Title:** Leave a Trail (9/x)  
**Rating:** T  
**Character(s)/Pairing(s):** Addison Montgomery, Alex Karev, Izzie Stevens, Mark Sloan; est. Kevin/Addison  
**Summary: **Set a few years post season four, Addison Montgomery finds herself back at Seattle Grace, albeit to find that things are quite different. Along with her life set and in order, she sees that many of the doctors have also come to terms with love life. As time progresses, however, these doctors will witness the phrase 'the more things change, the more they stay the same' manifest. (AU post mid-S4)  
**Note: **Update! Hee, see, I can keep track of my fics on this site...hopefully. Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed--you're much too awesome. Enjoy!

* * *

There was a buzzing noise in his ears that pushed his feet forward, that kept him moving along as he asked where Dr. Stevens was.

He barely voiced thank you to those who told him, as he could only feel the necessity to reach her before--

"Dr. Karev?" a nurse stopped him.

He turned around to see one Nurse Katie poking her head out of a patient's room.

He scratched his head, wondering what the hell she needed, but he jogged to her quickly.

"Yeah?"

"I don't mean to worry you," she glanced off and bit her lip.

She was a temp nurse who had only been working there for a few months and was barely getting accustomed to the job, thus he could understand if she felt something wrong had occurred.

"Nurse Katie, I'm kind of in a hurry--"

"Sorry, right, well I had Marie just a few minutes ago and I turned around for one second…"

"Shit," Alex muttered and he looked around the room.

"Okay, head that way," he pointed his finger in the opposite direction he was headed, "inform the nurses at the station and I'll tell Izzie."

She didn't hesitate and scurried off, knowing the longer it took to find the girl, the harder the chastisement.

"As soon as I find Izzie," Alex muttered to himself when the nurse left. He turned his head around, hoping to catch a glance of her, but when he didn't he continued the way he had been going, with an even quicker pace. He continued asking others if they had not only seen Izzie, but also Marie. This was shaping up to be a bad day.

--

"Mark!" Derek called out to him.

Mark turned from the nurses who were greeting him (a crop of new ones who had been told a great deal about him but instead of being wary of him, they were very curious) and smiled at Derek.

"Derek!"

The two doctors gave each other a firm handshake and a quick pat on the back, and they grinned at each other.

"It's great to see you here," Derek commented.

"Really. Wow, did I enter a parallel universe? First I find Addison here, who is in a steady relationship, then I find these nurses who are not part of an alliance against me, and now you're glad I'm here!"

Derek chuckled and shook his head.

"Looks as though some things have changed--but the big question is, are you the same old Mark Sloan?"

Mark pretended to contemplate Derek's question but then he cracked a smile.

"I've been through my fair share of changes, Derek. Have no doubt about that," he said in an intentionally low whisper, as though he did not want anyone else to hear him.

"Hmm," Derek nodded, inspecting this man with whom he had practically grown up with. There was definitely something different in the way he narrowed his eyes at him, although he could not quite pinpoint it. Nothing too grand for Derek to really think this was anyone other than the guy who had been like a brother to him, however.

"Well how about we discuss it further when I got off my shift--I'm assuming you're not working today, anyway?"

"No, I'm not," Mark confirmed that.

"Good, alright I'll find you later. I have a consult to get to," Derek gave his friend a pat on his forearm and began to walk away, but Mark turned to ask him one thing.

"Derek," he said in a low voice.

"Is Stevens here?" he was hesitant in his question, and if Derek didn't know any better, he'd think Mark even sounded afraid to ask it.

"Yeah, yeah, she's here. Somewhere--maybe one of the nurses could point you in her direction, but Mark?"

"Yeah?"

"Things are different. Keep that in mind."

Derek didn't wait for a response, as he simply gave him that sharp look that meant there was no sense in discussing the topic. Things were different, but Mark had no idea to what extent, nor could he have inferred the extent to which things had changed. He simply turned back around and went to ask a nurse, but remembered the Chief was probably waiting for him and Burke. Burke had already disappeared, presumably already with the Chief (always business first with that guy).

He sighed and made his way to the Chief's office--Izzie would have to wait.

The Chief would also have to wait apparently, though, because as he began making his way up the stairs to the walkway that led to the Chief's office, he spotted a little girl skipping down the stairs.

She was a little thing, with dark blond hair that came down in soft waves to her shoulder, and bright blue eyes. She didn't seem to notice him, but he did find it odd that this girl was here by herself. He glanced around to see if anyone was watching her, but the people around them seemed to be minding their own business. As he should be, so he shrugged and made his way up the first several steps, just as her leg strode forward onto the last step that would lead to the last set of stairs.

She wasn't paying much attention to the length of the step however, and instead her toes slipped on the surface. Instinctively, her arm reached for the staircase handle, but she was too late, as was he when reached for her, and she fell down.

She landed with her legs spread on the floor, but thankfully reacted in time so her head did not hit the ground as her elbows propped her up.

Mark bent down to her, and pushed aside her hair. He could hear her whimper, but she did not cry.

"You alright?" he whispered down at her.

She didn't answer, and he sighed.

"Here," he reached a hand toward her arm, but she flinched.

"It's okay, I'm a doctor."

The little girl paused, but she turned her head to him slowly. Her eyes were a bit watery, but she had yet to shed a tear. He almost smiled to himself--this girl sure did not like to cry, that much he could tell.

"Come on, let me get you some help," he pleaded to her.

She didn't nod, but when he reached out to carry her, she didn't protest. He hoisted her up as carefully as he could, and headed back down those set of stairs, and scurried off to the nearest unsolicited patient room when a nurse appeared at his side.

"Excuse me--" she pulled back his arm.

"It's alright, I'm an attending here--Dr. Mark Sloan," he explained, never turning to the woman nor stopping.

"Dr. Sloan? Oh why yes, I recognize you now from those fancy articles…"

It was an elderly nurse, but apparently one new to Seattle Grace.

"You okay?" he whispered down the girl.

"Uh huh," she whispered and tilted her head up to look at him.

"You've done some wonderful work, Dr. Sloan, like that woman--" the nurse continued to ramble, but Mark easily got irritated, so he cut her off.

"I need you to find this girl's parents," he demanded.

"Right, her parents shouldn't be too far off."

"Hey, who are your parents?" Mark asked the girl bluntly.

"Oh, no worries, I know who they are," the nurse interrupted him.

He stopped abruptly and turned to her.

"Then what are you still doing here?"

He gave her a pointed look, and soon as she received it she nodded and scrammed off.

The girl giggled in his arms and he rolled his eyes.

He turned into a room then and set the girl down.

"So I'm guessing you're feeling better?" he asked her as he looked at the scrapes on her knees and the forming bruises near her elbows.

"A wittle," she whispered.

"Well don't worry you'll be fine," he winked at her while he grabbed some supplies from one of the drawers. He pulled a chair by the bed she sat on, and began wiping the small scrapes with a little antiseptic. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her wince a bit and could her breath catch, but she didn't say anything, much less openly complain. It wasn't too long after he cleaned them off and placed a bandaide or two on her scraped knees, that someone came rushing in.

"Marie," the relieved voice came--a familiar one at that.

Mark swiveled around, to come face to face with none other than Dr. Karev, whose eyes were trained on the little girl.

"Dr. Karev?" Mark scrunched his eyebrows in confusion. At his voice, Alex's eyes snapped to him, the soft look he had one two seconds ago disappearing.

"Dr. Sloan," he mumbled, gaze hardening at him.

"Daddy!" the girl exclaimed, and Alex's eyes fell back to her.

"Daddy?" Mark made no effort to hide his surprise. Alex ignored him though, and whisked by him to stand in front of the girl.

"Hey baby, you alright?" he bent down and looked at the clean wounds.

The little girl nodded her head fervently, and Alex looked up to her.

"Good, cause I'm not sure your mom is going to be."

She giggled, and Mark just stood back as he watched the exchange.

"He helped me," she pointed a finger at Mark.

Mark could tell Alex was hesitant to look him, but after a moment he stood up and faced Mark.

"Thanks," he extended a hand to Mark.

"Don't mention it," Mark shrugged but accepted the hand to at least appear amicable in front of the girl.

"So what's her name?"

Alex's jaw set firmly, like he was intent on not telling him, but as if on cue at the doorway a voice gasped, "Marie."

There was no mistaking the voice, and Mark felt himself freeze when he looked up to see her. Instantly she felt a pair of eyes on her and she turned to find Mark staring at her.

This time, she felt her own ears buzz, but she shook herself from it and turned back to Marie.

"Sweetie," she said, walking towards the girl and embracing her.

Mark felt himself constrict, and his eyes took in the scene as Alex walked away from him and to Izzie and the girl.

Alex lay a hand on Izzie's shoulder as she pulled back the girl's hair and questioned her, while placing kisses all over her face.

"Momma," the girl whined and strained away from Izzie's suffocating hugs.

Izzie laughed and she pulled back.

"Don't you ever do that again, young lady," she whispered to her.

There was no mistaking it then. That girl, apparently Marie if he heard Izzie correctly, called Dr. Alex Karev daddy and Dr. Izzie Stevens momma. The two had a child together.

He had to clear his throat in order to grab their attention, and even then Karev and Stevens were reluctant to turn to him.

When Karev did manage to turn to him, all he said was, "Thanks Dr. Sloan, but we've got it now."

"Dr. Sloan," the little girl repeated after her…dad.

"Yeah, but you can call me Mark," he grinned at her.

The girl flashed her back a smile, and Mark faltered a bit when he saw how it was exactly like Izzie's. Exactly.

"I'm Marie," she said.

"That's a pretty name."

The room grew quiet for a moment, until Izzie spoke. She brushed back Marie's hair and whispered, "what do you say, sweetie?"

"Thank you!" the girl quickly added after Izzie's reminder.

This was making him too uneasy. This situation, he couldn't help the feeling that it wasn't all right. Something about it just didn't add up.

"Come on, Marie," Alex spoke up and reached for Marie's hand.

She took it without question and jumped down from her seat. Izzie stood and began to follow them when Mark made a quick move to block her way.

"Excuse me, Dr. Sloan."

She met his eyes for the briefest of seconds and glanced to the door, where Alex looked at her wearily with Marie in tow.

"Daddy," she tugged him, impatient as always.

Izzie took a deep intake of breath and she said even firmer--"Dr. Sloan, excuse me."

He wouldn't budge, only said, "I'd like to speak with you."

Alex kept his eyes steady on her, willing her to remain resolute, but Marie was only getting more impatient.

"Alex, I'll…" she paused, "I'll catch up with you in a minute."

"Izzie, we could--"

"It's fine, nothing to worry about," she waved him off. Alex was not pleased with this, but he couldn't very well discuss the matter in front of Sloan.

"Alright," Alex complied and left Izzie alone with Mark.

Izzie forced herself to meet his eyes that were as inquisitive as she figured they'd be.

"Dr. Sloan, I didn't know you'd be visiting us."

"Returning actually."

He was doing a remarkable job at keeping a steady gaze on her, without flinching or showing any emotion. It was helpful for her, a challenge to remain just as passive.

"Oh," she let out, "welcome back then."

Her words left an open space, a foreign atmosphere as each respective individual was left without knowing what to say.

Izzie moved her eyes away, and she turned her body so it wasn't directly faced towards him.

"So you have a daughter?" he eventually asked.

Even then it was too soon.

"Yes," she nodded, "Marie. Alex's and my daughter."

Quickly she added that last part, earning herself a scolding for being a bit too quick to defend something that was yet to be questioned.

"How old is she?"

The fact that he asked her just like that, it made her heart begin to beat quickly. She had this answer rehearsed, and she never had a problem reciting it. There should be no difference in this instance.

"She's two years old."

For an instant, he had the urge to ask her how many months Marie was, but none of that really was his business. Except he couldn't help the feeling…

"Is she mine?" the words tumbled out of his mouth, and he had no urge to pull them back. His mind worked quickly enough, and if that little girl with dark blond hair and blue eyes were to be three soon, she could very well be his. And he wasn't going to beat around the bush about it.

"Wha--" her mouth formed in a frown, forehead scrunched and she gave him an incredulous look.

"Jesus, Mark, no," she scoffed.

She could handle him even as he stood there in front of her so confidently, staring at her with the dare to speak without qualms. She knew how to control her range of emotions--for the most part. Because this, she wouldn't discuss it with him.

She shook her head in disbelief and moved to push past him, but in a step he blocked her again.

"Izzie, be honest with me."

She pushed aside her frustration and took a deep intake of breath.

"Dr. Sloan," she spoke with her tone of professional demeanor, "three years and some months ago, Alex and I initiated a relationship. Then I got pregnant, and seven and a half months later, we had a beautiful baby girl. Ten months after that, we moved into our own apartment. Five months later, here we are, with our little Marie. And as a co-worker, that's more than enough of what you need to know. So if you're done with this idiotic line of questioning, I have some work to get done."

Mark looked at her, at how sure she was in her words, and how logical it all sounded. She didn't appear to be lying, nor was there any reason why she should be…

"She's a premie?"

She nodded, "Was. Yeah."

"She was born here, in this hospital?"

She rolled her eyes, "that's hardly any of your business, Dr. Sloan."

Before he could reiterate, she stepped around him and left the room, still bewildered of this change. It all added up just fine, but still his mind nagged at him, as if telling him to keep pursuing the subject. But apparently he had lost the right to pursue the subject of Izzie or anything relating to her the moment he left Seattle.


	11. Chapter 10

**Title:** Leave a Trail (10/x)  
**Rating:** T  
**Character(s)/Pairing(s):** Addison Montgomery, Alex Karev, Izzie Stevens, Mark Sloan; est. Kevin/Addison  
**Summary: **Set a few years post season four, Addison Montgomery finds herself back at Seattle Grace, albeit to find that things are quite different. Along with her life set and in order, she sees that many of the doctors have also come to terms with love life. As time progresses, however, these doctors will witness the phrase 'the more things change, the more they stay the same' manifest. (AU post mid-S4)  
**Note: **I was going to update sooner had the reviews hit 50, but the week's update came up first, plus last night I voted for the first time, and for the right presidential candidate who just ~happened to win, so why not celebrate with an update? Thanks to those who have reviewed, those reading, & I hope you enjoy! ;D

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"You know, when you told me that things had changed…I didn't exactly expect what those things turned out to be."

Mark settled himself into the lawn chair set out in front of Derek and Meredith's home, as he sipped the beer in his hand.

"The changes probably seem more stark to you--they were a bit more subtle to us, the ones here."

Mark laughed, and shook his head.

"So no one was shocked when you began the blueprints for this house, much less when you and Meredith got together?" to Mark, the prospect seemed a tad unrealistic.

Derek, who sat only some feet from him in front of that very house, let out a hearty chuckle.

"Okay, that one was a little hard for people to swallow, but everyone got accustomed to that."

"Aw, I knew the two of you would get it together eventually, just didn't think you'd two be getting hitched by the time I came back."

"Speaking of which…" Derek began.

"Yeah, speaking of which, who's your best man?"

Of course Mark was going to ask. Derek turned towards Mark and bit his upper lip for a moment before responding.

"That would be Alex."

Mark almost choked on his beer, and he swiped his mouth with the back of his mouth as he eyed Derek.

"Alex? Dr. Alex Karev?" he asked in disbelief.

"Yes," he nodded.

"Wha--how? Was he the only guy available?"

Derek smirked. "He's a good guy, Mark. He's helped Meredith through a lot, and when Izzie got pregnant, we all stood by her, so it was only natural that Alex and I become friends in that process."

"You mean you were there for Izzie when she--"

Derek laughed, with a hint of irony in his tone.

"Yeah, we were a all a little surprised that Alex and Izzie were in a relationship, and although neither asked for help of any sort, they did live with Meredith and since I was there quite a lot, we all just chipped in when we could. Let me tell you, I found out some things about pregnant women and their hormones in those months. Reading the textbooks and seeing it a few hours in the hospital is one thing, but stick around longer and well…"

Mark nodded, and thoughts about what it must have been to be around that. Izzie being pregnant, with the help of Derek, Meredith, and Alex. He knew Izzie and Ale were good friends, but beyond that as far as he knew when he was still there, Izzie did not have a romantic relationship with Alex.

--

"_Hey," Izzie breathed into the phone._

"_Hey, about time I heard from you," he lay the phone beside his ear against the sofa, so he did not have to hold the receiver._

"_Sorry, but I went with Alex to see Ava."_

"_Again?"_

"_It's always good to have someone with you in these matters," she explained for what seemed the hundredth time._

"_I'm just starting to get the feeling that there must be more between you and Karev for you to go with him so often, while leaving me here to watch some boring program."_

_She laughed, her voice almost vibrating through the line, and he smiled at that._

"_Even if that were the case, Mark, you shouldn't be so worried about it. Friends share their friends, remember?"_

_He groaned, garnering another laugh, and he muttered to her," you're not going to give me another lecture on how friends should act towards friends, are you?"_

"_No, I've tried my best and alas, I think you are a lost cause Dr. Sloan."_

"_So you've finally seen the light, have you Stevens?"_

"_Why yes, so much so, I have decided to no longer hang out with nor say…drop by your room on occasion for a movie night."_

"_Like you could stay away from me."_

"_Mark, it's me. If there's any woman out there who could resist you, it's me."_

_When she said that last word, a soft knock came at his door, and he smirked knowing what she was up to._

"_So who's that at my door then? Just some random stranger looking for some late night…fun?"_

_She laughed. "Maybe--but definitely not the kind of fun you're insinuating."_

_By the time she finished her sentence, he had opened his door to find her standing there with an arm full of junk food and a movie in hand._

"_One last movie night couldn't hurt," she shrugged and walked by him._

_He bit back a smirk, and watched her as she made herself comfortable._

"_Move it Sloan, I don't have all the time in the world!" she called to him as she popped in the movie._

"_Whatever you say, Izzie."_

--

"Mark?" Derek's voice brought him back.

"What?" he mentally shook himself and looked at Derek.

"Are you alright?"

Mark's chest rose slightly as he contemplated the question, and a dozen other ones sprung to his own mind.

"Yeah," he said, although he didn't sound so confident. He let a pause pass, then said, "she has a kid--with Karev."

Derek furrowed his brows, set his beer bottle down, and shifted his seat closer to Mark.

"What's the problem, Mark?"

Noticing how suspicious he was getting, Mark sat upright in his chair and opened his eyes wider to show he was attentive.

"Nothing, just strange. I meant, by the time I left, Izzie had never mentioned being involved with Karev, much less being pregnant which I think she would have mentioned."

"Were you two really that close?"

Mark almost wanted to laugh at that, because yes they were, but then again they weren't. It's not as though they told each other everything, but they certainly didn't bullshit each other.

But that wasn't an answer he wanted to give away, so instead he responded, "maybe not, but I don't think it's something she would hide from me, unless she didn't know."

Remembering the timeline however, Derek quickly interjected, "she couldn't have. She wasn't even pregnant by then. If I remember correctly, she got pregnant towards the end of February, and you had left--"

"Early January," Mark finished for him.

"Right, but Izzie and Alex have mentioned that the two had been in the early stages of a relationship before she got pregnant."

Mark twitched, and he sat back in his seat. "Makes sense then," he murmured.

"Have you actually spoken with her?" Derek asked.

Mark nodded slowly, adding, "yeah, for hardly a minute. Got the sense the last thing she wanted to do was talk with me though."

"Well you did leave without notice and failed to contact any of us," Derek said crisply.

"It was a difficult time, Derek," his voice rose, the subject obviously touchy for both of them.

"And I get that Mark, but any time any of us tried getting in contact with you--"

"You tried to contact me?"

"Yes, didn't your secretary relay our messages?"

Mark squinted his eyes and blinked several times, as he ran that thought through his mind.

"Dammit," he muttered.

"What?"

"The secretary, my mother must have--" Mark said harshly, rubbing his hand over his face.

"Your mother interfered," Derek nodded. He should have known. Mark's mother had always been a controlling person, and her ensuring no one of influence came in contact with Mark was no surprise. Wouldn't be the first time she did something of the like.

"Still, I should have looked into--"

"Yeah, you should have."

There was no argument there. He still could have made contact, should have picked up a phone and inquired about them.

"Did Izzie try?" Mark spoke after the two let the air settle.

"Yep."

And after another pause, Mark admitted, "I did try with her, Derek. But I kept getting some other person."

Another irony.

"They added an area code, and she didn't have to get a new number, but after her phone broke and the company failed to reimburse her…"

"And because she doesn't give in, she left their services and opted for a new one, getting a new number altogether."

He really did know her well, there was no argument about that. The two friends smiled to themselves and finished their drinks in silence. When they were done, Mark lifted himself to his feet and extended a hand to Derek.

"Thanks for the talk."

"Sure," Derek smiled at him.

"Tell Meredith I said hi."

"Yeah, if she gets back from her night out with Cristina's anytime soon."

Then there were some things that remained the same, Mark thought to himself, and if he found that somewhat comforting.

He bid Derek goodbye, and went back his way, to his hotel room, alone. Something else that remained the same.

---

Izzie pushed her home door open carefully, so as to not make a noise, and she stepped aside so Alex could pass through. Marie was wrapped around her dad, asleep but clinging onto him quite strongly.

Izzie smiled at the sight of her daughter, holding onto Alex so firmly, as he walked towards the stairs and up it to reach the girl's bedroom.

Sighing, she locked the door shut, and set her bag down. She headed to the kitchen, where she proceeded to heat some food she had prepared in the morning.

Some minutes later, Alex came in, directly looking for some beer in the refrigerator.

"Could you get out a couple of plates?" Izzie asked as she stirred the soup.

He gulped down the beer he had in his mouth, and replied, "yeah."

He set the bottle down, and the only noise heard was the soft clank of the plates as he set them beside the stove, and the spoons he placed on the kitchen island.

He sat on the stool, staring at a magazine in front of as he finished his beer. When the bottle turned empty, and Izzie had yet to say anything, he sighed and pushed aside his stool.

Coming up to stand beside her, he rested a hand near the stove and studied her stoic face for a moment. During that moment, she did not flinch or acknowledge his presence.

"Izzie?" he finally spoke.

She seemed to jump a little, and she looked up at him in surprise.

"Are you alright?"

"Uh," she blinked and shook her head, "yeah, of course."

Then she took out the spoon from the pan, and turned the stove off.

She reached for a plate and studiously served an ample amount of soup, and handed the plate to him. He sighed again, and went to sit.

When she took a seat next to him, he stirred the soup with his spoon as his foot twitched impatiently.

"Iz, what did Sloan tell you?"

The spoon was mere inches from her mouth when he asked, and it stopped short there.

She put it down slowly, and smoothed out the table napkin she had placed on her lap.

"Nothing, he--" and she laughed softly.

Alex turned in his stool, and he pushed it closer to her.

"Iz," he said with a firmer voice so as to convey that he did not want this topic to fall by the wayside.

"He asked, outright, if Marie was his."

"Did you--?"

"I told him the truth. You're Marie's dad."

He placed his hand on hers, and squeezed it gently.

"You're okay, than? We're okay?"

Her eyes met his and softened, "yeah. I guess it's just the fact that he had the audacity to ask. It doesn't matter though, because despite what he thinks or thinks he knows, we're okay."

"Izzie, I know we decided on this close to three years ago, but--"

She pulled her hand away, and nodded her head in a 'no' manner.

"We are not having that discussion, Alex."

He hadn't even brought it up in over a year, but every year there was something that made him re-think their situation. And every year, every time he began getting into it, his argument was cut shorter. The year before he had managed to finish his sentence, and even put in another thought or two. Perhaps Sloan's presence, however, pushed her to the mark where he would not be able to speak to her on the subject without serious retribution.

It did put him off kilter a bit, and he had to bite back that inch of anger that urged him to tell her off. Instead, he just stood from his stool, and grabbed his uneaten soup and poured it back into the pan.

"What--Alex, aren't you hungry?"

"No," he proceeded to put his plate in the sink, and then crossed the kitchen to the doorway that led to the living room.

"Where are you going?" she called out.

He paused but barely looked at her.

"The bar-- shouldn't be too late, but don't wait up for me anyway."

She opened her mouth, but she really did not have much right, thus she closed her mouth and bit her lip.

When the front door slammed close, she ran a hand through her hair, and looked down at her own forgotten plate.

The little appetite she did have before, left then, and as she got up, she muttered, "dammit."

They had been able to speak freely and get on fine so far, and yes they did have their bouts of disagreements and fights, but at least they always were able to speak. Whether they were hushed debates or all-out fighting sessions, they managed to speak to one another. Until that night. Perhaps it was her doing, but in her opinion, Alex should know better than to push the subject matter of Marie's father. Nevertheless, this little issue that kept coming up, always left Izzie feeling uneasy about things.

---

He hadn't been to the bar alone for awhile, about seven months if he remembered correctly. Even then, he was there less than an hour before heading back home. Home. Geez, that still sounded so strange.

He shuffled through the people standing around (hardly standing, actually) who laughed and drank so merrily. It made him reminisce on his intern year. When he, Izzie, Meredith, George and Cristina would all hang out there (maybe not together), but they were all there enjoying themselves somehow.

He had to blink several times after he stepped inside, because he could still hear their laughter and see them making faces at one another at that table they would sit at when they were together. Those nights they'd forget their problems, the lives lost, and pretend consequences were myths simply meant to scare you onto some righteous path. Then the responsibilities became severe, and the thoughts of consequences began weighing heavily. That's when the nights in the bar got shorter with each day, and relaxation itself became a myth.

His eyes scanned the bar after he cleared his mind of the memories, and at a table in the center of the room he spotted Addison having a drink with Burke. She spotted him as well, and waved him over. He smiled tightly, nodded, and pointed to the bar counter to signal that he would grab a drink first. She nodded and then returned to speaking with Burke.

By the time he had his drink, and approached the table, Burke was already leaving the bar.

"Did I scare him off?" Alex said when he reached her.

She smiled. "He has an early morning," she explained.

"Burke hasn't changed then, huh?" he remarked as he settled himself into the seat across from her.

"Nope, still as professional and demure as ever."

They both had a chuckle at that, then a silence came to pass.

Addison fingered the edges of her empty whiskey glass and her eyes glazed over as if she was lost deep in thought. Alex put his glass down, and he licked his dry lips.

"So what, you just hang out at the bar when you're bored?"

His bluntness was nothing new, but it wasn't something he used very often anymore. She wasn't much offended by it, and it actually made her smile. She glanced up at him and rolled her eyes.

"I just wanted a drink, Alex, but if you're really curious, Kevin was offered some special assignment that's currently keeping him from me from seven at night to three am."

She didn't seem to bothered by this, and immediately Alex could infer that it was probably because it was nothing new. Apparently, being a police officer came with its own sacrifices.

"So you've been coming here?"

"I'm not an alcoholic, Alex," she smirked.

He laughed, and her smirk crossed over to a smile.

"Back in LA, if and when his late nights or early mornings did not coincide with my own hospital work, I would usually be with my friends--also doctors."

"So how often was he off working when you weren't?"

She hesitated to answer him, and the index finger of her right hand began toying with her empty glass again.

She cleared her throat, and brought her hands together, folding them in front of her on the table.

"Now that's the tricky part," she leaned forward and whispered.

"See, if I worked in a real hospital, I would hardly notice how those special assignments of his were during abnormal hours. But since I work at a practice where I typically do not receive more than three patients a day, on some days it is very clear how he is the head officer of a police department whereas I practically am a part time doctor."

He didn't respond, just ran over her words. She sounded detached from the statement, and there was even a playful glint in her eyes. The words themselves, however, sounded like implications of regrets and problems in a relationship. What he had seen of Kevin and Addison, though, seemed pretty good. They looked comfortable around another, and spoke more than amicably enough around each other. They appeared settled and content with themselves.

Then Addison broke into a laugh, and she flipped her hair over to her left shoulder.

"But then there's days when we have all this free time!" she laughed.

Alex grinned, as her level of intoxication began growing more apparent.

"And we'll grab some food, talk about work while we eat, and then we'll catch a movie or just sit by the beach. Then, then we visit Naomi and Sam, and we all sit around like a couple of married couples who have been friends forever," Addison projected a wide smile, although it was not directed at anyone as evident by her eyes that wandered around.

She sighed and spread her arms listlessly over the table, and in a soft voice she repeated the last word: "forever."

She sighed dramatically again, and her eyes shot up to Alex like she suddenly remembered he was there. Just like that, she managed to mask her state of drunkenness, and she sat upright.

"It's really…nice, Alex. He really tries, and he devotes himself to me, and he keeps me happy. It's good," she smiled a smile quieter than her last one, and momentarily glanced at the tiles of the ground.

"I'm happy for you Addison."

She could hear the sincerity in his voice, and it warmed her heart to know how honest he was about that.

"Thank you; I'm happy for me, too. And I'm happy for you and Izzie. You've got something good there, Alex."

His gaze dropped for a second, and his hand wrapped around his scotch glass. "Yeah," he answered as he brought the glass to his mouth.

He winked at her and grinned. She chuckled, and he finished his scotch in one gulp.

---

His presence startled her, primarily because she failed to turn on the light of the room once she entered.

"Kevin," she giggled, her knee hitting the bed post, "You're here early."

She shook off her heels, and began working her skirt off.

He was laying on the bed, over the blanket, his hands behind his head and his eyes closed but it was clear that he was awake.

"The op. took an unexpected turn, one to our advantage and we got our guys almost without a hitch. The others went out for a celebration, but I decided to come home and surprise my girlfriend."

Addison turned to him, eyes wide with surprise and guilt. His eyes flew open, and he hoisted himself up on his elbows.

"But to my surprise, she wasn't here."

Addison flinched, and she walked over to the bed, up next to him.

"Sorry--I went out for some drinks."

"You don't owe me explanations, Addie," he sat up while he spoke.

Addison sat down, and crossed her legs underneath her.

"I just coulda left a note, huh?"

He gave her a tight smile and locked eyes with her.

"Yeah, you could have."

"Well," she positioned her hands on either side of him, "what do you say I make it up to you?"

He grinned up at her and moved his hand to her hip.

"I wouldn't mind."

"Good," she smiled down at him, "because I'm not going to the hospital for a few days--part of the deal I made with Richard."

"Now there's a deal I like."


	12. Chapter 11

**Title:** Leave a Trail (11/x)  
**Rating:** T  
**Character(s)/Pairing(s):** Addison Montgomery, Alex Karev, Izzie Stevens, Mark Sloan; est. Kevin/Addison  
**Summary: **Set a few years post season four, Addison Montgomery finds herself back at Seattle Grace, albeit to find that things are quite different. Along with her life set and in order, she sees that many of the doctors have also come to terms with love life. As time progresses, however, these doctors will witness the phrase 'the more things change, the more they stay the same' manifest. (AU post mid-S4)  
**Note: **Umm...I don't think I have anything to add, really. This chapter is shorter, but the ones after this one should make up for it...Alrighty, I'll quit bugging ya'll! Enjoy. :)**  
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She returned Thursday, three days later as promised, but there was a noticeable shift in the atmosphere.

After she looked over her set of cases, Addison headed to Callie's office to use her computer for some quick research. Unfortunately, the computer froze on her as soon as she brought up the internet, and the closest office in proximity was the newly dusted up old office of Mark.

She knocked two times, with ten seconds between each one, and it was enough for him to open the door for her.

"Addison, why isn't this a pleasant surprise?" he grinned mischievously.

"I need to use your computer."

"Is that what kids are calling it these days?"

All his remark got him was a punch to his arm. He opened his door to her, and let her inside.

She began researching while he gathered up some scattered files on his desk, and when he finished ruffling those around, he took a seat beside her.

"I heard you're here for Derek's wedding."

"Yep," she clicked the mouse.

"The ex-wife attending the ex-husband's marriage to the ex-mistress. Maybe we all can be friends."

"It's called moving on Mark. And growing up," her eyes did not sway from the screen.

"What's the secret to that?" he crossed his arms and leaned forward.

Her eyes took a moment to eye him wearily.

"To growing up?"

"To moving on."

She stopped moving the mouse, and turned to him.

"You really want to know?"

Of course she didn't believe him. Really, she had every right not to believe him after everything. Still, she could give him the benefit of the doubt at least once.

He brought his eyes to her, and straightened his back.

"Yes."

"There is no secret, Mark. And there is no one way for it to happen. Sometimes it's time, sometimes it's the extent to which you're determined, or sometimes it's what something else does or doesn't do."

He kept staring at her, which only irritated her and caused her to sigh in exasperation. She turned her chair back to the computer and continued working.

He stood from his chair, grabbed the files, and inched towards the door.

"Hey, Mark?"

"Yeah?"

Their eyes met again.

"I've been told you and Stevens were friends. Have you two resumed that friendship?"

He had to hold back his question on how she had learned that, and instead asked her a more pertinent one.

"Why?"

She shrugged, and nonchalantly answered, "because if you had, you could ask her. That one has always been more patient with people than me, and maybe could be of more help."

She wasn't wrong in that--Izzie definitely had more patience with him, back then anyway.

"Thanks for the advice, Addie."

He nodded to her, and she responded with a 'you're welcome.'

His shake-off of the topic of Izzie sort of reminded her how Izzie dismissed the topic of Mark's departure, which made her curiosity grow. She couldn't help but wonder why they were so reluctant to acknowledge the other's existence if they had been friends.

---

"You have a good rest, Dr. Montgomery?"

Alex came to sit next to her during their lunch break.

"Good enough," she answered as she flipped through a magazine.

"You eat already?" he asked, noticing her tray was empty.

"I ate as much as you."

She set the magazine aside, took her glasses off, and smirked at him. He didn't have any food near him, just like her.

"Eh, that last patient sort of made me lose my appetite."

"Me too," Addison admitted.

They had gone through two cases together that day, but couldn't manage to speak properly. But now they had a good free 20 minutes, and they took it to speak.

No more than ten minutes after they began speaking, Izzie came into the dining area with Lexie, and they sat a few tables away from Alex and Addison.

Izzie and Lexie, who took the time to actually eat, didn't notice them until a loud cackle came from Addison's. Izzie's attention was drawn to the strange laugh, and when she saw with whom Addison was sitting, she sighed and pushed her tray aside.

"You okay?" Lexie asked.

"Yeah, it's just Alex," she nodded in the direction of his table.

Lexie turned her head, and caught sight of them.

"You don't think…" Lexie began, her eyes concentrated on them.

"Oh God no," Izzie had to laugh at that, "see, it's when you make comments like that, that I'm sure you're Meredith's sister."

"Oh," Lexie blushed. She didn't know why she so often jumped to conclusions, especially when she saw two people just enjoying each other's company. She did realize, however, that those little jumps began occurring more after she met Meredith and her friends.

"He's just been really weird since Mark got here. Anytime Mark comes within five feet of me, Alex is there. Like he's watching me or something-- or watching Mark actually. He trusts me, I know he does…"

"He just doesn't trust Sloan," Lexie finished for her.

"Or me around Sloan."

Izzie crossed her arms over her chest, and she leaned back into her chair. She brought a hand to her face, and its index finger touched on her left eyelid as its thumb pushed the right of her nose.

"He's been here for what, four, five days? And already it's causing this tension," Izzie sighed against her hand, "we just always thought the more time we had, the more we'd be used to it."

"You're just never ready for these things, Izzie," Lexie eyed her friend, and worry lines drew over her forehead at the stress this was causing Izzie.

"I told you guys when you made this decision that this would happen if Mark returned."

Izzie's eyes flew open, and her hand fell. She glanced back over at Alex, who at the moment looked completely relaxed and worry-free.

"And that worry of yours is exactly why we didn't want you or anyone else to find out," she said in a snarl. Lexie's face fell, and her throat tightened--she had matured some, but she was still a sensitive person.

"But I'm glad you know at least. Even if you only found out because you decided to eavesdrop--one less person to lie to, plus you've been really great about this whole thing."

Lexie smiled softly. "Even I knew that this girl of yours deserved a dad, and when Alex stepped in to offer, it was obvious he was just the man for it."

The two women looked back to Alex, half in admiration, half in worriment that it was finally getting too much for him. Izzie glanced down at the floor, and picked her spoon back up to finish her meal. Lexie, however, remained looking at Alex, or rather at the interaction between Alex and Addison.

---

_"What are you doing tonight?"_

_"As in?"_

_Alex's response should have been an indication that he would reject her, because she knew men like that, and men like that knew what girls meant by that._

_"What are you doing tonight?"_

_Alex paused for a second, while his eyes hesitantly met her, and he said--"Listen, um, I'm not a nice guy. I don't date, I don't call the next day, I'm not looking for a relationship cuz I'm never good at 'em."_

_Alex paused, a deep frown forming, reluctant to say whatever he was going to finish with._

_"And honestly I'm kinda hung up on somebody else, so, the only thing you're ever gonna get from me is sex, and uh, that's never good enough for girls like you."_

---

In that instant, Lexie couldn't help but remember that by the time she began her internship, Dr. Addison Forbes Montgomery no longer worked there.

Abruptly, she turned to Izzie.

"Izzie, why did Dr. Montgomery leave in the first place?"

She shrugged, her eyes focused on the food in front of her. "Mark said it was because one, she didn't get the job as chief, and two, she got involved with some guy she would sooner rather than later get away from, but," she took a swig of water, "I doubt it had anything to do with a guy."

"Why?" she persisted.

Izzie shot her a confused look. "Why the interest--never mind, you Greys always want to know everything," she rolled her eyes, "but in any case, not one of us saw Dr. Montgomery being remotely interested in anyone else other than Derek or Mark--if she was involved with someone, because she sure as hell showed no signs of it. And besides, if there was some mystery guy, I doubt Dr. Montgomery would run off because of him. She's just not that kind of person."

Izzie shrugged again, and took to finishing her food.

Lexie studied Izzie for some seconds, then eyed Addison and Alex again. She thought back to the interaction she witnessed between Ava and Alex, and remembered how willfully he juggled both her (Lexie) and Ava, as if neither woman particularly meant much to him.

_And honestly I'm kinda hung up on somebody else…_

And when Addison laughed heartily at something Alex said, causing Alex's mouth to upturn into a smile he quickly and consciously stifled with a passive face, Lexie decided to piece certain things together on her own.


	13. Chapter 12

**Title:** Leave a Trail (12/x)  
**Rating:** T  
**Character(s)/Pairing(s):** Addison Montgomery, Alex Karev, Izzie Stevens, Mark Sloan; est. Kevin/Addison  
**Summary: **Set a few years post season four, Addison Montgomery finds herself back at Seattle Grace, albeit to find that things are quite different. Along with her life set and in order, she sees that many of the doctors have also come to terms with love life. As time progresses, however, these doctors will witness the phrase 'the more things change, the more they stay the same' manifest. (AU post mid-S4)  
**Note: **I think I've mentioned this, but the bulk of this story has been written for quite some time - it's past chapter 14 that the stuff will be freshly written - so I remember that when I wrote those chapter, I just loved it. Perhaps because writing angry!Alex (the Alex we tend to see more of on Grey's) just felt right, along with the tension you'll see here. And I am so sorry for not updating quicker! I know I'm lagging, & I've just got so much on my plate, but yeah, I'm working on it! So I hope you enjoy! :)**  
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It had been almost six weeks since her return to Seattle Grace, and in those weeks she performed eleven successful surgeries which kept her attitude positive and left her feeling good. In that time, she would also have four failed surgeries, with the fourth being that moment.

She washed her hands mindlessly, her mind occupied with what had gone wrong and how it could be prevented the next time, given that the patient's organs could handle the pressure. After a few minutes she moved her hands from the sink and dried her hands on a cloth. Alex came in to wash his own hands then, and she sent a sympathetic smile his way, but he didn't seem to see her.

"Everything good, Karev?" she asked in worry.

He looked up to her while he kept scrubbing his hands.

"Yeah," and he turned back away.

Gingerly, she made her way to him, and turned off the faucet.

"You being a bad liar on purpose?"

He scowled at her, and pushed past her, his right shoulder hitting her left one.

"So you're still the same Karev, after all," she murmured. She shook her head in disbelief and turned on her heel to watch his movements.

"You don't know what the hell you're talking about, Dr. Montgomery," his cutting tone increased the tension in his room. He didn't bother to hear her rebuttal, just swiftly left the area. But Addison would not go unheard.

She measured her steps evenly, so when he reached whatever place he was searching for, she'd manage to sneak in without him getting away. It was too predictable when he chose a supply closet, and she stuck her foot into the doorway before the door closed.

"Leave me alone," he muttered when her entire frame made it through.

"Alex, we lost a newborn. I know it's difficult and it never gets any easier, but you still have to keep it together at this hospital!" she chastised him.

He scoffed. "You're one to say that."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

He had been pacing but when she screeched that out, he ceased and stood before her instead.

"You know damn well what that means."

Her heart began beating irregularly, the mix of irritation and frustration making her just want to scream at him without retribution.

"Yes Karev, I've had a few breakdowns in the past, but that does not excuse you or your behavior! I know you yelled at the husband--the nurse told me, and that is inexcusable!"

"I don't need this shit right now," he made a move to pass her, but she matched his step, causing him to scream without a second thought, "You're being a fucking hypocrite!"

Her face twisted, and he wanted to hit himself for putting that torn look on her face.

She sucked on the inside of her cheek, and firmly placed her hands on her hips.

"Maybe, Karev, maybe I am," she brought her voice level down, "but at least I'm capable of recognizing my errors, apologizing for them, and amending then."

Those words stung, both him and her. It became clear what argument they were now having, so Alex was less likely to back down.

"I apologized," he said through gritted teeth.

"That was an apology?" she chuckled bitterly in reference to their conversation after the dinner they had at his house her first night back.

"You didn't let me finish!"

"Oh, wow, that's a wonderful excuse, Karev! Because heaven forbid you stop me, so you could finish your apology first!"

"You said it was in the past!"

"It is! But that's beside the point--you don't think that affected me, Karev? What you did, did something to me, and yes I was able to put it behind me but it wasn't easy!"

"You haven't forgiven me, then?" he asked this in such a low whisper, that Addison's shoulders slumped and her defenses defected for a second.

"I've forgiven you--just not how I reacted to you, Karev, because I knew better. I should have known better."

His hand reacted to that, and instinctively it itched to reach out to her, and he opened his mouth to speak but the door flew open to reveal the Chief.

"You two, my office, now!"

Alex and Addison looked at each other, too much left to say, but they were partly thankful it was left at that. They didn't want to know where more supply room confessions would lead them, as it felt like dangerous territory already.

They followed the Chief without question.

They were like two school children, being reprimanded by the principal, and thus they sat quietly, listening for their cues to nod, say 'yes,' and 'I understand.'

It couldn't end fast enough.

Finally, the Chief drew in a large breath, sat on his desk and calmly said, "you two work extremely well together, and whether separate or together, you're bigger assets to this hospital than Dr. Brandon. So if you do anything else to make me think twice about your working together, make no mistake that I will separate you."

"Yes, sir," the doctors answered.

With that, he dismissed them, and quietly they stepped outside. Addison walked over to the railing and leaned on it, her face looking out at the people walking below. Alex followed suit, and the two stood in silence for a few minutes.

Thereafter, Alex shifted, and whispered, "I'm sorry."

"Alex, you don--"

"If you don't let me finish it's gonna come back to bite me in the ass, so let me get this out."

She chuckled and nodded.

"I'm sorry about everything. Mostly because it was more about me putting my crap on other people."

"That's a nice choice of words, Karev," she bit back a laugh.

"Shut up," he nudged her and turned his back onto the rail.

"Most of it Addison, it wasn't your fault. I have this tendency to weigh everything against my past, or some current shit that's happening."

"Is that how you explain your latest outburst?"

"I'm just stressed, and yeah, I shouldn't have brought it into the hospital," he admitted.

Addison pushed herself off the rail, and turned her body to be adjacent with his. Placing a hand on his forearm, she let him know that "if you ever want to talk about it, vent or just talk about something else to occupy your mind, I'm here."

He smiled appreciatively. "Thanks."

"And just for the record, none of what I said in any way meant that you were the reason I left Seattle."

He smirked, and briskly nodded.

The two failed to notice much else around them, so they didn't see that only some feet from them Dr. Sloan stood observing them, having forgotten his own trip to speak with the Chief. The ease with which they spoke and the physical contact Addison made with Alex unsettled him. The Chief said Addison had arrived no more than six weeks ago, and yet she and Alex were already back to being the gynie squad and getting along as if no time or anything had come to pass. Did Izzie have any idea of how this, or in the least of what transpired four years ago?

_Move on, Mark,_ he told himself. He took one last look at the two, but they were heading their separate ways already, so he kept on his.

---

"Dr. Grey."

"You…talking to me?" Lexie looked at him cautiously, as they had never spoken to each other much.

"Yes," he said curtly, "and I have a question."

Lexie didn't know what to make of this but she couldn't quite well walk away or dismiss him without good reason.

"Okay, Dr. Sloan."

"Tell me--Stevens and Karev? Any marriage plans in the near future."

"I don't know Dr. Sloan, not that it matters. They're together. What else is there to know aside from that?"

"Wow, someone's defensive," he quirked an eye at her.

Suddenly she felt nervous and she had to lock her hands behind her back so he wouldn't notice her fidgeting.

"Defensive?" she scoffed, "wh-why would I be defensive?"

"That's a good question, Dr. Grey. So whenever you decide to stop covering for whoever it is you're covering, come talk to me and tell me that answer along with the first one I asked you."

Lexie stared at him in disbelief, and her face contorted as she prepared to tell him a thing or two about pretentiousness and assumptions. But she had to work on her 'thinking before speaking' because instead what burst out was, "tell me--Addison and Alex…how well did they get along or know each other before she left?"

Mark smirked, but all he answered was, "touché" before he walked past her and left her in a confused state.

"Touché?" she whispered to herself. By saying that, he had implicated that her question touched worked in conjunction with his initial question. Which meant that there was more to the Addison and Alex story than anyone was letting on, and more over that Dr. Mark Sloan still had quite some suspicions about Alex and Izzie.

---

"Dr. Stevens."

Izzie turned from her patient to Bailey, who called to her.

"Yes, Dr. Bailey?"

"I see you've been able to help this lovely young lady," she gave the patient an encouraging smile.

"She's been wonderful," the patient gushed. Bailey nodded and smiled, then turned to Izzie.

"Uh, Dr. Stevens, a moment please?"

Izzie complied and they stepped away, pulling the curtain around the patient to give her and them some privacy.

"I'll be taking over the clinic for the remainder of the week, Stevens."

"Okay…but why?"

"Dr. Sloan has a patient that needs some evaluating and thereafter, you're going to perform some complex corrective surgery."

Izzie looked at her with dilated eyes, and did not hesitate to protest.

"That's plastics! I don't…and why me?!"

"Izzie," she gave her a pointed look, "you are a professional, a doctor that has chosen to be a general surgeon, and when Dr. Sloan requested your services--"

"I am not working with Sloan."

"Yes, you are. You haven't been doing much work in plastics, Stevens, and this a great opportunity to do so. Beside, last time he was here you two worked well enough together, and you didn't seem to mind him then, so don't give me any excuses."

"But--"

"No, now here," Bailey handed her the patient's file, "get some research done, and get out of here. Out."

Izzie snatched the file, and sighed in defeat. It was going to be a long week.

---

"Dr. Stevens, well isn't this a pleasant surprise?" he smiled at her as held his door open for her to walk into his office.

"Oh, yeah, big surprise," she made no intent to hide her dissatisfaction.

"Here's what I gathered up about your patient," she held out the files.

"Why don't you come in?" he made a wider space for her to come in and ignored the files.

"I've got other things to do, Dr. Sloan," she glared.

"Call me Mark," he winked.

Grumbling she shoved the files onto his chest, forcing him to grasp them, and she pulled away. "If you need anything regarding the patient, page me."

She began turning on her heel, but he grabbed her arm.

"Not so fast, Stevens."

She pulled her arm away and marched up to him. She stuck her index finger at him, pursed her lips, and spoke in a low cutting voice.

"Outside of the patients and cases, we have nothing talk about. And you have no right to call me Izzie, or Isobel for that matter, much less do you have a right to lay a hand on me so just lay off."

"Let's talk inside my office," he bent his head to be on eye-level with her.

"Did you not just hear me?!"

"Please, Dr. Stevens."

She had half a mind to slap him right then, but something pulled her back, and she couldn't decline.

"One minute."

"A minute and a half," he bargained.

"Fine," she agreed and marched into his office.

He closed the door behind him, and she stood several feet from him.

"I'm waiting," she lifted her arms and stared at him impatiently.

"Stevens, I owe you an explanation."

She laughed. "I didn't ask for one--I don't want one, so if that's all…" she glanced towards the door.

He put up a hand. "You may not want one, but you need one. Deserve one."

"Don't tell me what I need, because you sure as hell don't know me."

"Please, Iz--Dr. Stevens, you just…I need to say this to you."

She clenched her jaw, and breathed inwardly. She didn't respond, indicating that he was free to speak.

"My mother called to tell me that her husband had died, leaving her to handle the business my dad created on her own. But the guy's kids decided to do some controlling of their own and…I couldn't let that happen. My dad built that company off his back, with some money my mother used as leverage for their marriage…" he paused, but Izzie didn't insert any commentary.

He continued then. "I tried calling you, but you wouldn't answer, so I had Derek pass on the message. And Derek told me that you and he tried calling me but…my mother hired me this secretary, and gave her complete access to my contacts. I never got the messages."

"But you stayed," she spoke.

"Believe me, I didn't intend to, but there was this big financial mess, because my mother's never had the best taste in people and the guy she married made a huge mess of the company."

"And since when did you become a finance expert? I thought you were a doctor--a plastic surgeon--but a doctor nonetheless."

Her arms fell to her side, and a disappointed face came over her.

"Which is why I re-opened my practice several months after I returned. I talked to real finance experts, got some lawyer friends to help me out, and when they laid the facts out and I didn't hear from you…I thought I had no reason to come back."

Her eyes snapped to him, and she cleared her face of any emotions.

"You didn't, not even now," and with that, she moved past him and left his office.

Mark was left standing there. He had hoped his explanation would help her understand, but since that didn't work, he was left with the slight feeling that the friendship he did have with her was now broken beyond repair. That was something he had known was a possibility, but he had always hoped it wasn't the case. She had meant too much to him. Something like that couldn't be left like this. He knew he couldn't let it get to him now, and neither could he let himself quit--especially not when certain things still did not make enough sense. So even if it meant her hating him, Karev being an ass about it, and even the second Grey acting as a protective shield, he was determined to break that barrier with Izzie. He had done it once before (sure, last time it was mostly through her effort), and he could do it again.


	14. Chapter 13

**Title:** Leave a Trail (13/x)  
**Rating:** T  
**Character(s)/Pairing(s):** Addison Montgomery, Alex Karev, Izzie Stevens, Mark Sloan; est. Kevin/Addison  
**Summary: **Set a few years post season four, Addison Montgomery finds herself back at Seattle Grace, albeit to find that things are quite different. Along with her life set and in order, she sees that many of the doctors have also come to terms with love life. As time progresses, however, these doctors will witness the phrase 'the more things change, the more they stay the same' manifest. (AU post mid-S4)  
**Note: **Saying it's been awhile is an understatement at this point--I just want to stress how sorry I am for the lack of updates. I faced a huge creative decision and block for this story as well because anytime I tried completing the remaining chapters, it was all crap. Fortunately, my muse if finally cooperating! I want to thank those who have come poking around this story asking if it'll get completed, and those who've been here from the start (or middle) for supporting it. I especially want to thank **LisaLevine** for her always kind reviews--and for reminding me that LJ had two more updates than here on this site! So here's to me giving you timely updates, this story getting it's finish, & hoping ya'll enjoy this. I only ask for patience! Okay, I've dragged on. Just enjoy!

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"So you feeling better, Iz?" Alex asked, still concerned for her because of the confrontation she had with Mark Sloan the day before, that she had told him about.

Izzie dried the last dish from breakfast that morning, wiped her hands and answered him, "yeah. I'm perfectly fine. Why wouldn't I be?"

She failed to give him eye contact, but Alex wasn't in the mood to push a subject that Izzie would end up trying to dissolve, so he let it pass for the time being.

"Good--I'm going to take Marie, so you can relax some more minutes before heading to the hospital."

"Okay, thanks Alex."

He put an arm around her shoulder, pulled her close for a second and kissed her cheek.

"If working with Sloan starts getting too difficult, tell me Iz."

"There's nothing to worry about, Alex. It's not as though he has some hold over me."

"Yeah, well let's just be glad you were never in love with the guy," he smirked and rubbed her back.

Her throat tightened, but she managed to nod and smile along with him, "yeah, thank God for that."

He let her go, and told her goodbye, while grabbing Marie who was in the living room playing.

"Bye sweetie!" Izzie called to her daughter.

"Bye mommy!"

When the door shut, Izzie let out a breath she had been holding since Alex made his last comment. Feeling like she needed someone to talk to, she picked up the number and dialed Lexie's number.

"Hey Lexie…I'm alright…listen, how about I pick you up on my day to work today? Kind of need an ear to talk to."

---

"You need me to pitch in for gas?" Lexie asked after she hopped in.

"No, that's fine."

"Cool, so I'm saving taxi and gas fare," Lexie said.

Izzie rolled her eyes.

"Sorry," she apologized, "you wanted to talk to me about something?"

Gripping the steering wheel tightly, Izzie ran over her thoughts and put together what she was willing to say.

"Sometimes I really miss George," Izzie breathed out after a second.

"Yeah, he was a really good listener," Lexie agreed, "too bad he decided to finish his residency at Mercy West."

"But at least you didn't take him up on his offer and go with him."

Lexie chuckled, "I may feel guilty about it, but I'm glad I stayed."

Silence enveloped them for a minute, but soon they'd be arriving at the hospital, so Izzie began.

"Lexie, remember when I said the Mark and I thing was just something that happened out of the blue, and we agreed on staying friends?"

"Uh huh."

"I lied. We never agreed on anything."

Lexie tilted her head towards Izzie, and her mouth moved to form words, but she kept silent, not wanting to interrupt Izzie's thought process.

"He was such a good friend Lexie, which I know is difficult to imagine, but when he really got a hang of the friend thing, he was a good one. Eventually, and without warning, I just realized that I…I was attracted to him, which led to the grand revelation that I loved him. Not just loved him, but was in love with him."

When Lexie didn't gasp or say 'oh' or anything that indicated that she was surprised. Izzie eyed her face but there was no inkling of surprise there either.

"What, no comment?"

Lexie met her eyes, and smiled embarrassingly. "I sort of…figured that already."

Izzie's eyes dilated, but the fact sank in, and she rolled her head back.

"God, I must so bad at hiding these things," she laughed.

"Oh don't worry, Alex has no idea. He's kind of clueless like that," Lexie shrugged

"It's better that way."

Having arrived, Izzie parked, but the girls remained seated.

"But it's kind of curious?"

"What?"

"Well, you know how you had that argument with Mark yesterday?"

"Yes."

"It's curious how the same day you fight with Sloan, Alex has his own argument with Dr. Montgomery."

"What?"

"Yeah, the Chief called them into his office and everything," Lexie paused, and turned herself in her seat, "what, he didn't tell you?"

Izzie shook her head. "No, he didn't."

"I'm sure it was nothing then," Lexie quickly interjected.

Izzie bit her bottom lip, unbuckled her seat, and smiled tightly. "Yeah, of course." Izzie stepped out of the car, Lexie watching how she forced herself to shrug the matter off, but Lexie's suspicions were furthered. Why wouldn't Alex tell Izzie, after she told him about her own fight with Sloan.?

---

After changing into her scrubs, Izzie headed to the nurses station for file updates. As she approached the place, she noted Alex and Addison speaking together, but that was nothing new. Usually she let them be, didn't interrupt them, and sometimes she even failed to notice their interaction. She stopped short that day, however, and slowed as she neared them.

Bringing back to mind what Lexie had told her, she wondered why they were so talkative with each other if just yesterday they had been fighting.

Addison had her back to Izzie, but Alex was facing in her direction, and still he didn't seem to notice her. She found it odd how concentrated his eyes were on Addison, and although they did not remain still, they played over her face only.

"Hey Alex," Izzie cleared her voice and brought attention to herself.

Alex, who had been grinning, suddenly stopped his movements and glanced at her with a firm smile.

"Hey Iz."

Addison turned and smiled to her.

"Dr. Stevens, good to see you," she smiled and nodded at her.

"You too," Izzie returned the friendly act.

"Alex, can I talk to you?"

He seemed rather hesitant, but gave Addison a quick apology, and went to speak with Izzie. The two stepped into a vacant patient room, and Alex waited for Izzie to talk.

"What is it Iz?"

He sounded irritated, which confused her, but she shook the feeling off.

"Lexie mentioned that you and Addison had an argument yesterday."

"So?" he crossed his arms in a defensive manner and looked at anywhere but her.

"So…I have an argument with Sloan, and tell you all about it, but you fight with Addison and don't even mention it all?"

"So now I have to report everything that happens with me to you?" he said with a scoff.

"Alex, we're supposed to be able to talk to each other."

She crossed over to him, and rested her hands on his shoulders.

He shrugged them off and moved away from her, nearing the door.

"Why? It's not like you're my girlfriend."

Izzie's eyes shut involuntarily, and her chest felt constricted. He had never said that. Never, and it hurt her to hear him say it. Something that had slowly been shifting since Marie first called Alex 'dad' took it's left turn then, and it cut across her.

Recognizing his mistake, Alex strode to Izzie and placed a hand on her forearm.

"Izzie, I'm sorry, I didn't--"

"Yeah, you did," she flinched away. Through his protests, she hastily left the room, and held herself together to the best of her ability until she couldn't finish the elevator ride she was taking to reach hers and Mark's patient.

She had to bring the elevator to a halt when a tear broke through, and she gripped the metal rail lining the elevator wall. She suddenly felt sick, her stomach turning on itself, churning. She couldn't hear anything, and her legs felt weak. She closed her eyes, held tightly onto the rail, and mentally counted to ten. When she finished, she breathed in deeply, exhaled, and opened her eyes. Finding her eyes wet (but at least not her cheeks) she released her hands from the railing, and wiped at her tears. She pulled on her scrubs, smoothing out the invisible rumples, giving her time to regain her composure, until she was ready to push back in the stop lever.

---

Alex mentally cursed at himself, but decided not to follow Izzie. She would prefer time to herself, or anything that would distract her from her problem. She probably would not want to see him for awhile. Instead, he returned to Addison, with his mask that said nothing of importance had occurred. Somehow she could never buy his masks however.

As they headed towards a patient, walking side by side, Addison commented that there appeared to be something on Izzie's mind.

"There's always something on Izzie's mind," he tried inserting humor into the matter.

"Alex," Addison said in that warning tone of hers.

But it wasn't something he wanted to talk about in that moment.

"You got any plans tonight?" he stopped mid-step and asked her with a smile.

_Just dinner with Kevin and some boring cop buddy of his_, she thought.

She answered," maybe" however.

"And your offer to talk is still on the table?"

Smiling, she nodded. "Yes, and if say…at nine-thirty you happen to drop by the bar where I'll be, you could definitely take me up on it."

---

Explaining to Kevin why she would not be going on that little double date was a bit difficult. Not that she lied, exactly, as she did tell him a friendly co-worker was in need of an ear to hear them out and she felt up to the job.

"Addison, you expect me to stand these people up?"

Wincing, she let out a puff of air, and in her most comprehensive voice answered, "Kevin, I don't even know these people. You can easily reschedule or go on without me, they don't know me, so they can't miss me."

They bickered back and forth for another two minutes, until he conceded when she insisted that helping this friend was highly important to her.

This friend.

Not once did she mention a name, or even if it was a he or a she, but that wasn't necessarily important anyhow. She didn't even know why she noticed this--it's not as though she consciously didn't mention it was Alex Karev. Right?

She mentally shrugged, wishing she would quit over thinking things. She even wanted to completely push off that feeling of guilt that crept in when she walked into the bar and spotted Alex in a corner booth, waiting for her. There was no reason to feel guilty, she was just meeting a friend for a drink. A friend who gave her a sly smile that made the corners of her lips turn up, and had already gotten her preferred drink, and set it up across from him where she would be sitting. Apparently he had noticed her drink of preference, which any friend would be capable of identifying really.

She slid into the seat across from him, set her purse down, and said hello.

"Addison," he nodded, "How are you?"

"I'm…good."

"Yeah."

They looked at one another, and then at their drinks, before Addison laughed.

"God, it's like we're on a date--which we're not," she added quickly.

"I think our partners would have something to say about that."

"Uh, yeah," her eyes shifted to the wall beside them and she brought her drink to her lips.

"But Izzie doesn't even know I'm here," he whispered so low she didn't know whether he intended for her to hear or not.

He raised his eyes to hers. "She probably thinks I'm at the gym. I tend to go there when I'm stressed."

Her mouth formed into an 'oh' and she leaned back into the booth, easing herself into conversing and listening to him.

"Is it the hospital that has you stressed?"

He took a swig of his beer, and rested an elbow on the table, where his hand formed into a fist that came to his mouth.

"No," he responded after several seconds.

He brought both his hands in front of him, and rubbed them, as his chest rose slowly.

"Iz and I…"

His hands movements stopped, and he shuffled his feet. "Marie was never planned, which you don't have to be a genius to figure out," he smirked in self-amusement.

"But she's great, and she made me grow up, which is one of the many reasons I'm thankful for her. But to say it never causes any tension between me and Izzie would be like saying all relationships are perfect, right?"

She looked at him intently, and nodded in understanding.

"The good thing though is that we've always been able to talk, no question. But ever since--" he stopped himself short and consciously looked at Addison, who looked at him expectantly.

"I don't know, lately we haven't talked much," he finished.

"Then talk to her," she said without qualms as if it were such a simple solution.

"That's your grand advice?" he scoffed.

"Yes," she crossed her arms on the table, and leaned towards him.

"You're talking to me, a woman who over one month ago, you had not seen in well over three years, a woman who at one point told you 'you suck, to me you suck. I kind of hate you.' So if you can do that, you can talk to your girlfriend, who is the mother of your child--what?"

She stopped when he just looked at her with a goofy grin. "Nothing, you just remember what you told me at Cristina's wedding."

"Just because I'm old, Alex, doesn't mean I've lost my memory completely."

He looked down, and hid his smile. He brought his head back up, and crossed his arms over his chest.

"You came back a bit over two months ago, Addison, and surprisingly we didn't fight or get into any rifts in that time--until yesterday. It's been me and Izzie and Marie for almost three years."

"Even more reason to get over yourself and talk to her."

"Get over myself?"

She rolled her eyes. "You're being petty Alex, using excuses. Do you love Izzie?"

Without hesitation, he nodded, because yes he loved her. Maybe not in the way you're supposed to love someone with whom you're living and raising a child, but he did love her.

"Then what's the problem?"

_That she's too scared to bring anything up that could tear up this lie, so she'll hardly talk about the subject, if at all._

His eyes fell to his drink, and he grabbed it, immediately taking a large gulp of it.

"We all have our secrets, Addison," he murmured after his throat went dry. "This is one of those instances when a secret's the reason something so simple, isn't so simple."

She met his eyes, confused at his words. Something in his eyes made her believe he wanted to just spill and break out all those secrets, and that's when she realized what it was about him that seemed so different since she returned. Secrets.

Since she had returned, she thought that the unchangeable hospital had finally changed. Things were calm, doctors had found peace, drama had been wiped out. But here he sat, with a vacant look in his eyes, a sort of hole that was filled with emptiness, with just an inch of redemption reaching out therein. She could only estimate it was Marie, and even Izzie because he had said he loved them both.

She wanted to ask about these secrets, but she knew it wasn't her place. Instead, she extended a hand across the table, and placed it over Alex's. The two shared a soft smile, the spark of a connection that said that there was a middle ground both at one time had stepped on, and thus could understand each other. She knew that place so very well, a place where she did something right, but something was off-balance, causing her to feel the ache of something vacated. It had gone and passed…mostly.

She had left something on that ground in her haste to leave it, but she didn't know what it was, so she was never able to scout for it properly. But to be able to look at this person and silently communicate the identity of that territory, it inserted some peace in her. Some peace that warmed her, and made her feel as though she came to find something she hadn't even realized she missed.

And the doubt that came along with that realization, she pushed it aside, along with the guilt she had felt for an instant just minutes ago as she sat there with Alex Karev.


	15. Chapter 14

**Title:** Leave a Trail (14/x)  
**Rating:** T  
**Character(s)/Pairing(s):** Addison Montgomery, Alex Karev, Izzie Stevens, Mark Sloan; est. Kevin/Addison  
**Summary: **Set a few years post season four, Addison Montgomery finds herself back at Seattle Grace, albeit to find that things are quite different. Along with her life set and in order, she sees that many of the doctors have also come to terms with love life. As time progresses, however, these doctors will witness the phrase 'the more things change, the more they stay the same' manifest. (AU post mid-S4)  
**Note:** Enjoy. ;)

* * *

They left early enough, where Alex arrived to his respective apartment in time to see Izzie awake. She wasn't entirely happy that he had been gone without warning, but at least he didn't get home too late. Also, although he did have the slightest smell of beer on him, he wasn't drunk. He apologized as soon as they went into the bedroom, but she said his words were long overdue. That she was amazed it had taken him so long to air out what must be the frustration of not having an actual girlfriend, and instead having her.

"I know you've had your little adventures over the years, Alex, because you've been honest enough to tell me. You'll leave the town on some day off, find yourself a girl, because you're only human, and here I thought it was good enough for you, but--"

"It is."

He didn't want her thinking otherwise. Yes, he needed a release, but even that got tiring. He had quit going on those exertions for almost a year now. He felt guilty leaving Izzie, Izzie who had not had that type of release since…since she got pregnant.

Thinking the conversation had gone far enough, she laid down in the bed, pulled the sheets over her, and turned off her lamp.

"Goodnight, Alex."

The conversation wasn't over, they had hardly touched on the basis of the real issue, although they were beginning to poke at it. They both needed more. Still, they dived into their situation head first, because she didn't want anyone knowing about Mark and he didn't want Marie growing up without a father.

---

"So you'll be my doctor too then?" the patient looked over at Izzie.

Smiling politely at the middle-aged woman who had survived a fire, although not unscathed, Izzie responded with a 'yes.'

"Two doctors are better than one, so I'm grateful for that," she smiled tightly, obviously still concerned over her status.

"And Dr. Stevens is an especially attentive doctor, so have no doubts you're in great hands," Mark assured her, then smiled over at Izzie, whose gaze was directed elsewhere.

The patient nodded. Seeing that she still did not have her utmost energy then said, "We'll let you rest then, Ms. Landry."

Mark and Izzie left the patient's room, but Izzie stopped short outside the door, almost bumping into Mark.

"You forget something, Stevens?"

"No, I just--about the other day."

He locked his hands behind his back, and stood looking at her, with a suspicious look. He wasn't sure exactly why she was bringing this up or if was on route to screaming at him, but in the mean time he would remain calm.

"Yes?" he asked after she didn't finish her line of thought.

"Look, we're doctors, and no matter what I said, it's in the past. Regardless of what may have happened or not, we're professionals, here to save lives not to argue. So here in the hospital, we have to remain professionals; I won't bring up any personal topics, and you won't either, and we'll be fine. Got it Sloan?"

He was amused by the serious face she wore--the one that said she would kick ass and mark your name down on an infinite black list.

He grinned at her, and put his hand forth.

She eyed his hand, then raised her eye at him.

"It's called closing the deal, Stevens."

She sighed, but met his hand.

"Deal?" she asked.

"Deal."

--

She just needed to put things in place. Marie was nice, healthy, unaware of the world her mother and her dad had created for her sake. She couldn't say the same about those who had created that world, however. She and Alex were never completely at peace about what they had done. It was so simple in the beginning, when Izzie didn't want Marie to grow up knowing who her actual father was, and Alex didn't want Marie to grow up without a set of parents.

All it took was one little lie, one that didn't need to involve the fabrication of a traditional family. If things had gone the original route, perhaps all these complications wouldn't have arisen, but at that point the what ifs were futile. The facts were that they had let things drag on, let people interpret things on their own without giving proper answers, resulting in this large façade.

Somewhere, deep within herself, Izzie hoped for the easiest resolution of all. That was that neither she nor Alex would ever have to confess the truth as one day their lies would manifest into truths. That he would fall for her once again, and that she would fall for him once again. It couldn't really be impossible, could it? They were at one point attracted to each other, and had no doubt that had they both committed five years ago, they really could have fallen in love. Therefore it was plausible for them to go that route again.

Except that the more time that passed on, the less the chances of that happening grew. As much as she cared about him, she didn't know if she could love him in that manner now. And the way he looked at her, the way he treated her only showed…pity, though she didn't like admitting that.

For the time being then, she would just have to try to smooth over the ripples that would surface on occasion.

Every time they would begin discussing the state of their relationship, she would have to cease the conversations before they went any further, before Alex fully pursued the line of topic.

Every time someone began asking under the surface questions, Izzie would have to laugh them off and tell them 'it is what it is' then run off before she ran out of lies.

Every time Marie smiled up at her with those bright blue eyes and that grin that made her head begin whirling with comparisons and those daydreams about her, Marie, and the man with the same blue eyes and grin.

Now these times that Mark stood only feet from her, smiled at her, tried talking to her about things…about Marie.

She needed to pacify things with him, thus she extended her hand and both agreed to be amiable towards one another at the hospital. It made her feel a bit easier because they were to keep things professional, but nevertheless he was still there, trying to befriend her. She couldn't have that. The last time they befriended each other, things shifted to the point where she lived in a manufactured world.

Her mind still whirled with everything at every turn, only calmed when she had her baby with her, as Marie's presence reassured her that this had to be worth it. Even the never being with a man she truly, fully loved part--Marie was the love of her life and that was that. If that was enough for her, though, then why wasn't it enough for Alex?

"Because she's not really his daughter," she said to herself as she hit her head on the steering wheel of the car.

Sometimes, Izzie sat there in the silence, letting life wash over her. At first, she just needed the silence in which she could freely speak the truth without ramifications. The truth will set you free, and Izzie found that saying to be true when she just said the words without lies. It was never enough because she already knew the truth anyhow, but it eased her somewhat.

After Marie first called Alex 'dad', she found that she needed the silence to not just speak to herself, but to also close her eyes and be away from the lie her daughter was being raised in.

When Alex began trying to talk to her about the lie going too far and about how they needed to dig themselves out of the hole they were digging before it got too deep, she relished in the quiet, dark, lone spaces to rub her head and convince herself that it was already too deep.

Now she needed that lone space for the rush of emotions to crash over her and fall through tears from her eyes.

"Shit," she exclaimed to herself and hit her palm against the steering wheel. She sat there in her car for another two minutes before wiping her eyes and starting the ignition, and she set off for home, to her Marie.

---

"Dr. Sloan, right?"

Mark turned to the man who had approached him and squinted his eyes at him.

"Yeah, and you're…" Mark began but found that he couldn't remember his name.

"Kevin, we met the other day," he clarified for him.

"Right. Addie's boyfriend," Mark said as he shook his hand. "Come to bring Addison her coffee?"

"Yep," Kevin nodded and held up Addison's coffee cup for effect, "but when I asked for her, a nurse just said something about the gynie squad being in a meeting."

Mark snorted.

"What?" Kevin asked.

"The nurse get a laugh out of that one?" Mark inquired.

"She seemed to giggle, then she walked away."

"Well," Mark crossed his arms over his chest and pretended to concentrate, "if they're having a meeting, I'm betting they're in the NICU unit with their clients."

"Where the babies are?"

"Yes," Mark nodded and pointed to a nurse that he motioned to come over. "Take Officer Nelson to the NICU unit--where Dr. Montgomery and Dr. Karev are."

The nurse nodded and smiled politely at Kevin. Kevin looked up at Mark with a raised eyebrow.

"Dr. Karev and Addison?"

"The good ol' gynie squad," Mark shook his head and said with a facetious tone. Addison had told Kevin that Mark had a disdain for obstetrics, however, so he didn't make much of it. He turned to the nurse, gave her a warm smile and said, "after you. I just hope her vanilla latte won't be too cold by the time I get to her."

"Vanilla latte?" Mark called out abruptly, "since when does Addie drink those?"

"As far back as I can remember," Kevin shrugged and kept on.

But Mark couldn't shrug it off completely--he had a feeling that things were about to get interesting, especially since Kevin didn't seem to have a clue about Addison's past with Alex.

---

"Bat girl?"

"Yes, Bat girl. Why, do you have a problem with that?"

"Nah, it's just…bat girl?"

"I've said that at least ten times already, Alex! So shut up, it's cute."

Addison laughed and turned away to Alex, and back down to the little girl who reminded her of that baby girl back in LA that she had looked after.

"Remind me never to move to California. It does strange things to people," Alex nodded his head in disbelief, covering the fact that he was more than slightly amused at the nickname Addison had concocted for a newborn in LA.

"It's a great place, Alex."

"Yeah? So when are you going back?"

Addison thought over the question and hesitated to answer. Turning her face to Alex, she slowly said, "I told Naomi I'd be back after the wedding, so…after the wedding."

"I can't believe she's letting you stay this long," Alex commented, his eyes not meeting hers.

"I have an independent contract, Alex. I didn't so much need her permission as I did need to notify her. Anyway, I've practically been running the place for the last couple of years in addition to seeing patients. I deserve this vacation."

"You're working."

"Yeah, but--" Addison stopped herself, not really knowing how to respond to that.

"And doesn't your boyfriend have a job back in LA?"

"What he has is…" Addison hesitated for a second, but then thought there was no harm in telling him, "is a job offer here that he's been mulling over for months, and being here for Derek's wedding provided him with an opening to really consider the pros and cons of working in this city."

Alex scoffed, causing Addison to give him a wayward glance. "What?" she inquired.

"Nothing. Except that he doesn't seem like someone who would fit in Seattle."

"That's something he'll decide," she countered.

"Don't you get a say?"

"Excuse me?"

Alex turned to face her directly, and he closed a foot between them. "You're his girlfriend, and from what I heard, you guys have been together awhile. So wouldn't you get a say?"

Addison opened her mouth, then closed it for a few seconds, and opened it again. "Yes, but I won't deter him from whatever it is he really wants."

"What about what you really want?" Alex asked in a low whisper that for some unbeknownst reason, caught her off guard. In that instant she heard one of the doors to the NICU open, and she turned her head to see who entered.

"Kevin!" she exclaimed, and Alex stepped back and gave the man a nod.

"Hey, Addison," he smiled at her awkwardly, feeling as though he interrupted something. He had only seen Alex standing a little close to her, but they were both watching a baby in an incubator, so that wasn't strange. It was, however, eerily quiet. He cleared his throat and said, "I brought you some coffee" and he held up her cup.

Addison wiped her forehead and smiled softly. She began walking towards Kevin, and he met her half-way. Alex turned his eyes to the baby when Kevin titled his head down to kiss Addison.

"You alright?" Kevin asked her in a low whisper, noticing that she was a little too quiet.

"Absolutely," she answered as she brought the cup to her lips. As the liquid went down her throat, she closed her eyes and breathed in. "Ummm," she murmured. Kevin chuckled and wrapped an arm around Addison's shoulder.

"How are you, Dr. Karev?"

Alex looked over at him, avoiding a glance at Addison and the arm around her. "Good," he said with a firm smile, "and you?"

"Perfect," Kevin said, smiling down at Addison. Alex had to force himself not to roll his eyes. "I'm going to--" Alex began just as Kevin said, "Dr. Sloan that you two were the gynie squad."

Addison laughed softly and shook off Kevin's arm. "Mark's just being Mark," Addison brushed it aside, "he's never quite respected those who take priority in obstetrics."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, plus he's always had it in for me. Wouldn't let me anywhere near plastics, so he forced me to work neo-natal with Addison back when I was an intern."

"You say that as if you didn't enjoy the specialty, Karev," Addison pretended to be offended. Alex smirked and crossed his arms over his chest--"dude, I wanted to work in plastics. Thanks to him we became the gynie squad, and I was never able to shake off the damn name."

"Oh, what, were you the one- man gynie squad when I left? No one forced you to go into obtetrics."

"The niche kinda stuck with me, alright?" Alex rolled his eyes and walked past Kevin and Addison. "I've gotta do some charts. Later, Dr. Montgomery, Officer Nelson."

Kevin observed Addison as Alex left. She chuckled one last time and waved him off while she walked back over to the incubator. But it wasn't her nonchalant reactions that most intrigued him, but rather the close eye Alex Karev kept on her during the entire exchange, and the way his face formed anytime she so much as smiled.

"I did tell him to call me Kevin the other day, didn't I?" Kevin nudged Addison as he stood behind her.

"He never learns," Addison shrugged.

They stood there, silently, Addison watching the baby, Kevin watching Addison, for a few minutes. Then he went over and took a seat by the incubator's monitor. Addison heard him settle into a seat, and she went over to join him. She pulled another seat beside him, and took his hand as she finished the remnants of her vanilla latte.

"Addison?"

"Hmm?"

"Dr. Alex Karev--I never heard any talk of him before we arrived in Seattle?"

"Is that under question?" Addison chuckled.

"No," he shook his head. He glanced at Addison out of the corner of his eye, and said, "either you or Naomi would talk about or mention certain things about this hospital sometimes. Sometimes even about the people here, and from you and Alex said, you knew each other from when you worked here--and he worked under you. As an intern, right?"

Addison sighed and sat upright in her seat. She let his hand go, rested her hands in her palm and asked, "Why the sudden interest in Dr. Karev, Kevin?"

Kevin ran over his head what to tell her, what explanation to give her, but all he could think about was the night he and Addison had dinner with her ex-workers the night she first visited the hospital.

"When we had dinner at Izzie and Alex's house, I briefly heard you two speaking. I don't know about what, I just remember him saying something about him being a jerk, then you stopped him and talked about everyone making mistakes, but having to leave it in the past…?"

"He was a jerk, Kevin. Dr. Karev wanted a career in plastics, but after a case, I forced him to work with him as a form of punishment. And while he was a great student, and showed great promise as a surgeon, he had a difficult attitude and terrible bedside manner. We could hardly get along, Kevin. And besides all that, he was just an intern--I wasn't part of his life, nor was he a part of mine. He hardly deserved a mention, Kevin. Out of sight, out of mind."

"I'm sorry to have asked, Addie, I guess because I see you two getting along so well right now I figured in the past, maybe--"

"Right now, yes, we seem to get along just fine. Maybe having a kid pacified him, but all I know is that our pasts have nothing to do with our presents."

Addison reached over for his hand once again, and squeezed it gently. Kevin still couldn't drive out that little voice that told him something was being left unsaid.

---

"Karev!" Mark called him out from across the waiting room.

Alex grumbled but walked over to the attending. "Yes, Dr. Sloan?"

"I'm in need of a bone dry cappuccino."

"Isn't that what your interns are for?"

"Interns are stupid. Can't take directions. For example, there was this intern some years back who instead of getting my bone dry cappuccino, got me a vanilla latte."

"Is that so?" Alex smirked.

Mark smirked in return, but then his lips turned into a frown.

"Yes. And fast-forward all these years, and _another_ attending who seemed to get a little kick out of the intern's mistake, now has a like for vanilla lattes. Have any idea what that's about?"

Alex had learned that Addison preferred vanilla lattés now, as he had asked her a few weeks back what she would like to drink because he was going to the coffee cart and she had asked for a vanilla latte. He didn't make much of it, although his first thought was of that time he purposefully gave Dr. Sloan the wrong drink.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Dr. Sloan," Alex shrugged.

"The hell you don't," Mark retorted, "and just so you know, I'm keeping an eye on you, Karev. If you hurt either Izzie or Addison, I'm going to make sure you really pay for it this time."

"You're one to talk," Alex bit back at him, and he had to force himself not to yell as he said, "and you have no right to act like you have to protect either of them. I'm the one watching out for Izzie, for Marie. I would never leave either of them. And Addison has nothing to do with any of that or this."

"Then why are always with her, instead of spending time with the mother of your child?"

"Forget you, Sloan. Izzie and I know what we're doing with our lives, and you can't interfere just because you've finally decided to show back up in her life."

Alex brushed past Mark, not wanting to argue anymore. But of Alex's words, the only ones that really stuck with him were, "I'm the one watching out for Izzie, for Marie. I would never leave either of them."

"The hell I'm leaving this alone," Mark murmured to himself before stalking off in the opposite direction of Alex.


	16. Chapter 15

**Title:** Leave a Trail (15/x)  
**Rating:** T  
**Character(s)/Pairing(s):** Addison Montgomery, Alex Karev, Izzie Stevens, Mark Sloan; est. Kevin/Addison  
**Summary: **Set a few years post season four, Addison Montgomery finds herself back at Seattle Grace, albeit to find that things are quite different. Along with her life set and in order, she sees that many of the doctors have also come to terms with love life. As time progresses, however, these doctors will witness the phrase 'the more things change, the more they stay the same' manifest. (AU post mid-S4)  
**Note:** I really do plan on replying to the reviews--I've just got a dozen or so things to do and I keep pushing the replies back. For now then I just want to thank everyone who has taken the time to drop me a review in response to the last few chapters. Given the time and effort it takes to write some of these up, it's wonderful to hear when you've enjoyed this. Thank you. Now here's the next chapter--a lot happens, and it may have the feeling of 'too much' but that's what I'm shooting for after so much build up! Hope you enjoy! :)

* * *

It was there, in his head. The plan of action. The act - the confrontation. He was set and determined, because he didn't want all of this to become a cycle. But people weren't built with strings, much less with emotions that could be controlled, hence there were only varying extents of control. More often than not, there were no variants. Just actions, consequences, effects, and fragments of "what ifs" and "not enough".

When Mark saw her slumped against the wall, face tilted up to the sky, right arm extended, right hand toying with an unlit cigarette, and left arm folded atop her kneecaps as her left hand clenched, unclenched in a fist, he remembered that. He remembered that as determined and intent he was on accomplishing his plan of action, he could not control her reaction, much less could he control himself from feeling the ache in the pit of his stomach.

His feet slowed down as he approached the woman seemingly so entrapped in another world at the moment. Her hair was in a bun, but little wisps blew around her face, the wind making her look even more like a force that warned him not to go near her.

Then he stood beside her, toes pointed at her, eyes narrowed at her, body not nearly close enough to her.

Unless his counting was off, it took seven seconds for her to realize she was no longer alone. She slowly turned her head, spotted the shoes, and skimmed her eyes up his body until she met his eyes.

"Need something Dr. Sloan?"

He was sure she meant her tone to be more cutting, but her tone felt energy deprived.

"I was hoping to speak with you, Dr. Stevens."

It felt like a game. Them talking in brief lines, with airs of professionalism. They were just airs. As if they had always been just two doctors who happened to work in the same hospital.

It astonished him--the times they could have had more than just two-line conversations, the times they could have run into each other while he was with Derek, while she was with Meredith, the times they could have ended up in the bar alone when they found themselves too alone and lost--but those times avoided them for a long while.. Truth be told, they did have their run-ins and times at bar, but it's like the two worked in contrasting parallels that could never meet even if they were just vertical of each other. Like there was in fact a force that kept a wedge between them so as to prevent wildfire. Had Mark and her never intersected, he would never have dwelled on it, and had she not shown and taught him all that she did, he would have understood the need of the wedge and maybe even wished it succeeded. Instead, he found something that understood the wedge too well, and was partly thankful for it to have failed. The other part of him only slightly regretted the failure because she only gave him steely gazes now.

He hated pretending.

"I'm busy," she responded.

He used to have such a block around himself, and she used to have such heart about her. Maybe it was the time or the distance, so maybe he was completely wrong in his conjecture, but he couldn't see that heart about her anymore. Actually, that would be a lie. He saw it those two times he had seen Izzie with her daughter, and those few times he caught her speaking about Marie, and those other few times he saw Izzie talk and/or see Marie with Alex. It was as though Marie was her one and only heart, as though Izzie did not know how to breathe in a world without Marie. And Mark knew that yes, that was the change. Izzie was a mother. And this time, she was a mother with a daughter, and as far as mothers went, their children were their worlds.

Still, he couldn't shake the feeling that Izzie was at a loss for something.

"Taken up smoking?" he asked with hints contain of sarcasm, nonchalance, and a drop of solemnity to even it all out.

"I don't smoke. Not since--"

"I know," he cut her off, knowing she didn't want to finish the sentence anyhow.

She brushed aside the wisps of hair being blown in her face, and in a low whisper said, "I just like to hold it sometimes. Flick it back and forth, put it beneath my heel when I'm done being weak, and go back in there and fight."

Soon as she finished saying that, she pushed herself off the ground and raised the cigarette to her eye-level.

"I hate this thing," she said.

He looked dead in her eyes, not that she really seemed to notice. He didn't say anything in turn, afraid that he'd break this spell in which Izzie spoke to him without once telling him to go away or something of the sort. It did seem as though she was speaking mostly to herself, however.

The cigarette rolled from her fingers, then she let it fall, and she lifted her right leg, placed her foot over the thing, and crushed it beneath her heel.

"The most difficult thing in the world I had to do--the strongest thing I had ever done--was give my baby to two other people, and pull myself out of her life. And what did I do then? I kept myself together by ripping my insides apart by smoking all the tension and stress away. I swore I'd never do that again. Not with a cigarette, not with alcohol, not with some other drug. Not by--"

"Being weak."

They looked at each other, mouths muted. There were sounds of an ambulance, but they were in the back of the clinic, and their pagers didn't beep.

Mark didn't want a cycle, but he felt like he just stepped right into one.

The date wasn't exact, and some of the words were different, but it was there (or here, rather) on some day some years back that he found Izzie in the back lot of the clinic, with an unlit cigarette between her fingers.

All those other times that they somehow didn't run into each other, or didn't speak more than four or five words to each other, melted together that night.

They had lost too many patients, and Mark had heard a rumor or two circulating about Izzie and a certain love affair that apparently was doomed from the start and finally came to a clash. He wasn't in his best mood, and neither was she. But as soon as he spotted her there, with that despondent look on her face and smoke in her hand, that he stopped, and she spoke.

It would take him longer to really extend his hand and tell her something to finish that bridge she extended. That bridge upon which their friendship began.

And Mark knew that Izzie remembered it too the instant she saw his shoes.

"This doesn't mean anything."

He hadn't said, asked, or implied anything of the sort, but she had to say it.

"I know," he nodded. It hurt. He wanted to say, "what's wrong? Why do you feel on the brink of weakness? Why are you here, alone? Why do you insist on pretending we never spoke more than four or five words to each other?"

It was in his plan of action, but all the words froze in his throat, and the will to confront her flew from his mind.

He stood frozen while Izzie began walking away from him, but something stopped her. She turned back towards Mark and only left a few feet between them when she said, "I hate pretending too, you know. And I hate how--I hate."

And she cut herself off, glanced at the floor, licked her lips, and went on. "I wish that our friendship hadn't--we should've left things where they were, and you could have left, Mark, without a word for years, and you'd come and there wouldn't be this lie for me to hate you for. It would have been so much simpler if things had not changed."

"I don't regret it, Izzie," he let slip soon as she finished.

Her eyes shot to his, her brows furrowed, her mouth parted, and her neck strained. He knew how deeply she felt for her friendships and bonds with others, and for him to have said that he didn't regret what turned out to be the drowning of their friendship, was like a slap to the face for her. But he couldn't lie. He couldn't regret what they lost for what they almost had. Not completely, anyway. Because they could have had both, if whatever hadn't changed.

And once the words left his throat, he knew he could let the other things slip.

"You're not telling me something, Izzie. And this--all of this--is wrong. I know you said that we had to behave professionally and be amicable, but I can't do that when there's all this between us."

"There's nothing--!"

"Yes, yes there is! Just like there's something there with Alex that you're not telling anyone, and just like there's something with Alex and A--"

But he stopped himself there. His mouth clamped shut and he tore his eyes away from her.

Izzie's eyes widened, and her mind subconsciously finished the name that Mark wouldn't complete. She shook those thoughts and backed away from Mark.

"I'm not going down this path," she stated with such determination that he would have believed her had he not known that such things could only be so controlled.

He didn't have the right to tell her about the little he knew of Alex and Addison, especially if all he had on them was one sex tryst that he knew of. Sex from the past could be resolved, because in the present, it meant nothing. Mark knew there was more to the story, however, and despite being aware that he did not have the right to divulge anything to Izzie even if he knew the entire story, he needed to know it. He needed to know that Alex wasn't going to hurt Izzie because somehow, he managed to wrap Addison up in his web again.

"Mark," Izzie snapped him out of his plot. She stood with her body at an angle--one foot pointed towards the back entrance of the clinic, and the other on point, between that entrance and his own feet. She had her neck craned to only have one eye looking at him directly while the other was hidden by the shadows of the darkening night. "Will you please stop going and coming around, looking for me?" she said in this low voice that almost sounded like a plea.

"I haven't been going around looking for anyone."

"Why'd you come out here, then?"

"I just came outside for some air," he said all too unconvincingly.

"In the back of the clinic? You know that's where I come for air, and I know that you've hardly ever come by the clinic because you were never its biggest fan or supporter. "

"Fine," he spit out, "I came looking for you. I came--for you."

Shaking her head, and looking away, she said, "forget I even asked," and began walking away again, but he held her by the arm.

"I could have stayed in New York. I could have turned down the Chief when he offered for me to return. I could have left this all behind. But I came back, Izzie."

"Just a couple of days ago, Dr. Sloan," she stressed his professional title, "we agreed on--we shook on keeping things completely work-related."

"I never was much good with promises," he said with a joking grin, which did not aide his efforts. She jerked her hand out of his hand and gave a small, mocking laugh, "you're absolutely right about that."

"I'm not going to stop, Izzie. I can't just be the attending you work with sometimes or that friend who screwed things over. I will make this right."

"Make what right, Mark?" she yelled, no longer caring for any apathetic demeanor. Well, that would be a lie. The day had grown long, her limbs were aching from a never-ending week, and her patience had been trodden. "I have a beautiful baby girl with a guy who's been there for everything. He's given up early and late nights for both me and Marie, and when she wouldn't stop crying, when she's sick, or when she has a nightmare--he stays with her and he helps her and he loves her. Just like I do! Everything, everything is ri--we're fine."

Her voice started breaking and she looked away a quick second to suck in and let go a breath. She turned back to Mark and eyed him with a steady eye and voice. "If you came here for me, Mark, then you came here for nothing." And she shrugged as her heart pounded with the envisions she had seen of Mark being that dutiful father 'stead of Alex when she was speaking. It never would have been that way anyway, she told herself as she walked away, leaving Mark to stand alone with a throbbing pain of regret.

---

With Addison, he gathered the confrontation would be easier to initiate. She'd probably be just as stubborn and deny, deny, deny.

He and Addison were always a game, though, so it would take some push and some pull, but he would get something, no doubt.

Addison would come later, though.

He had wanted to get something out of Karev, but he hardly knew the man, thus it had been difficult to get anything out of him.

Before Addison, then, Mark thought about talking to Derek some more, see if he knew some more about the Alex and Izzie situation. Derek would laugh at him if Mark outright told him that he was questioning people so as to learn what happened between two people too many years ago to matter anymore. Mark even laughed at himself when he realized he was practically conducting an investigation by interrogating Karev, Izzie, Addison, and Derek.

He had to do something about the nagging voice that told him something was off with everything, though, and he figured it the best (albeit worst) avenue to go along.

---

"Mark," Derek said with a surprised visage, "what are you doing here?"

"I gotta talk to you about something," Mark said with a sense of urgency in his voice.

Derek crossed his arms over his chest and gave him an exasperated look. "What did you do?"

"Nothing," Mark quickly snapped, but then sighed, "not lately anyway. So can I pull you away from Grey for a night?"

"Sure. She got called in anyway."

"Great. So where's the nearest bar?"

--

"I don't like this place," Mark grumbled as he raised an eyebrow at the barkeep and then began inspecting his glass.

"You've been complaining for ten minutes now, Mark. Are we going to talk about whatever you came down here for or not?"

Mark drank a large sip of beer, made a contorted face, but then finally looked at Derek.

"I slept with Izzie."

Derek sat back in his seat, sure he had heard wrong, before leaning back in towards Mark and hissing, "you did what?"

"Three years ago. I slept with Izzie Stevens three years ago. Probably should have led with that."

Derek rubbed his forehead, but after a few seconds, the dozen or so obvious questions began firing off in his head. "Were you two just pretending to be friends?" Derek asked.

"No," Mark said firmly, "we were friends. We only slept together the one time, the night before I flew out to New York. She and I were supposed to talk about what happened that day I left, but well, you know the story."

"So you two never talked about it? You didn't even see each other for what, three years then, after that?"

"Yes. And just when I made up my mind to come back, I get here to see she's got a kid with Karev. Anytime I try to talk to her, she either ignores me or throws back in my face what we aren't."

"She's got a family now, Mark. You bringing up what happened--it's immature, Mark."

"Derek, I loved her."

Derek studied his friend, then broke into a chuckle.

"It's not funny," Mark scowled.

"I'm sorry, Mark, but it's been over three years. If you had loved her, you wouldn't have stayed away so long."

"So I'm a little slow in that department, but I know what she meant to me and how I felt."

"Say that's true, Mark. What relevance does it have now?"

"I--" Mark looked away, then down to his glass, "it's ridiculous, but for a moment there, when I saw Izzie for the first time in so long and when I realized the little girl whose knee I'd just bandaged was hers, for a moment there I thought that girl was mine. That I had gone away and come back just to find out I fathered but didn't get to raise this little girl."

"But it's Alex's."

"I got that, thanks Derek," he said sarcastically, "Karev got her pregnant, Marie Karev was born some weeks before she was due, and the three are--"

"Anne Marie Stevens. Izzie wanted her daughter to have her mother's name, and if and when she matured she'd rather have her father's or both her parent's name, Marie could change it."

"She wouldn't be Izzie if she didn't go against the grain," Mark mused, and in a low voice whisper, said the girl's name to himself, "Anne Marie Stevens."

"Hmm," Derek smiled tightly while watching his friend. There was something there that although surprised Derek in a good way (for Mark had never been the slightest bit amused by something like a child's name), it also worried him (for Mark had seemed determined to still talk to Izzie despite her having a family).

"Mark? Had your mother not called and had you not gone to New York, what would you have told Izzie that day?"

Mark licked his lips, and slowly said, "I don't know…Just some variation of how I never wanted anything more than for her and me to work out. Not just as friends, either. I wanted her, and I wasn't going to be perfect, especially in the beginning, but I'd work on it."

Coming to the realization of what that meant, Derek thought aloud, "and it took you three years to really be ready, didn't it?"

Mark nodded. "I slept around with girls, Derek. When I was working, I'd forget it was for the patient and think about the reputation and recognition. Some days I thought about Izzie less, and sometimes my best friend--you--until I started thinking about Izzie more and more each day. Some days, I missed being led into caring for the patient. When the Chief offered me the job, I didn't think twice."

"What made you think Izzie wouldn't be where she is now?"

"I guess whatever possessed you to think Meredith would still love you after you went back with Addison."

Derek couldn't judge him for that possession. Everyone was the victim of that and reaped the consequences of it eventually.

"I gotta know, Derek," Mark shifted his tone and leaned in, "Izzie's relationship with Karev, has it ever seemed…fishy to you? Because there's just something off there and not everything fits."

"Mark, stop. You haven't been here. You don't know anything about their relationship to make assumptions. Just let it go."

"I'm done with letting go, Derek. I've lived that way longer than most people ever do, and it was fun, but it was lonely."

When their talk came to a close, Derek reiterated his warning to Mark, because regardless of whatever feelings anyone had, the fact was that Izzie had a daughter and that daughter had a father.

The thing was, Derek was left doubting that last fact.

In the seventh month of her pregnancy, Izzie and Alex had asked the Chief for a two week vacation. They would only be going down to a remote hotel in Oregon to get some time away before the baby was born. Knowing that their schedules would be twice as hectic upon the baby's arrival, the Chief granted them the reprieve. It was exactly a week after they left, that Meredith received a call the early morning of October seventh from Izzie Stevens. She had gone into early labor, but fortunately the baby and she were perfectly fine and healthy.

Little Anne Marie Stevens was born with all fingers and toes in tact, and was even the weight and size of an average newborn, not that it was too unusual with only slightly prematurely born newborns.

One week after her birth, Alex and Izzie returned with their newborn, and everything was perfect.

Derek didn't buy it anymore, though. It couldn't just be a coincidence that Marie had blue eyes, that Izzie and Alex took that vacation at the same time Marie was born, which was roughly nine months after Mark's departure.

---

"In like one month, dude, you're going to be married. It getting to you yet?" Alex asked as he adjusted the cuffs on his tuxedo.

Pulling on the lapels of his own tuxedo, Derek gave a little smile and shook his head. "We should have been married for a month already. I don't know why she insisted on having the wedding in September when we could have had it in the summer: June, July, even August."

"She's Mer. I'm surprised she chose a month that close to summer," Alex laughed.

"Yeah," Derek whispered, then turned a question on Alex. "So what month would you rather you and Izzie marry?"

He looked at the mirror to gaugeAlex's reaction to his question. Alex stopped fumbling with his cuffs, pausing for about five seconds, and then smoothed them out before clearing his throat.

"I don't know," he mumbled and twitched his nose.

"Not planning on marriage? Strange," Derek said just loud enough for Alex to hear.

"Look Shepherd, Izzie and I got Marie and that's more than enough commitment, so--"

"A child is a commitment. But it can't be the only commitment in a relationship, Alex, otherwise you and your partner would be nothing more than parents."

"What the hell are you getting at?" Alex yelled.

Derek turned on his heel, and looked at Alex with a passive face.

"I'm getting at the fact that last night, Mark told me what happened between her and Izzie three years ago, and the now ambiguous fact that Marie was born a little over one month premature."

Alex's face remained stone-faced, and after a moment, said, "I've got a surgery with Dr. Montgomery in an hour" and moved towards the dressing room before Derek could say anything. On his way out, however, Derek said in a low voice, "I won't tell Mark my suspicions. You should just know that things like this can only stay a secret for so long."

Alex looked back at Derek. "If there were something to tell, Marie would still remain mine and Izzie's priority. She's the one who we'd need to protect."

"She wouldn't be the only one hurt, Alex, just remember that."

"Only Marie matters, just Marie."

---

Mark stopped Addison mid-corridor, wanting to speak to her. "You got a minute, Addison?"

"I've got…" Addison looked at her watch, "20 minutes to get to my OR. But I have a patient I want to check on first, so…be quick."

"When you left to LA, did you do it for the job, the place or something else?"

She looked at him apprehensively and raised an eyebrow. "I--I left because of this job," she pointed directly at the floor of the hospital, "I left because LA was new and fresh and not Seattle. I left because I wanted change and I wanted to find something--anything. I went to LA because I didn't want to feel exhausted anymore. That answer your question? Or was there something else you were looking for?"

"I want to know Addie, if I was a reason you left--if I exhausted you."

"You did, Mark, you did exhaust me. But it wasn't just you. Just you I could handle. It was everything, everyone."

"Karev?"

Addison laughed. She looked at him in disbelief and threw up her arms. "I don't have time for this," she said and shouldered past him, but he followed closely and whispered in her ear as they walked down the corridor, "I know you broke the pact because of him. I saw you and lied--I didn't sleep with anyone."

Addison stopped abruptly and turned to him. "You're lying."

"I was the good guy for once, Addie. I said I had broken it so you wouldn't have to admit your mistake."

Addison shook her hair, then placed her hands on her hips. "Fine. I had sex with Karev the one time. You want your well-deserved apology? Okay, I'm sorry. Can we move on now?"

"I've moved on. You?"

"Yes, Mark. I'm over you, I'm over everything from my past, I've got Kevin--"

"But you're working with Karev again."

"I'm the attending from his specialty."

"You sure have rubbed off on him, haven't you? Because it seems like you two are getting along better than before."

"Say it, Mark. Say what you're implying, what you're thinking. Just say it!"

"You still like him."

"Oh dear God," she laughed, "you've got a grudge over what happened four years ago."

Mark wouldn't let the topic switch.

"You thought I screwed up, your ex-husband had his girlfriend, and Karev did some shit to you, and you left. You were exhausted, but you come back, work with Karev again, and you're always working with him--not Dr. Brandon--or you're talking by yourselves in the NICU or down corridors, not just like colleagues, but like friends. And I've seen how he glances at you Addison--"

"You're making something out of nothing, Mark! Dr. Brandon is an arrogant, self-absorbed doctor only interested in his personal standing--"

"So is Karev!"

"No. He's not. Alex puts his patients first, and yes, he's got a temper and his bedside manner is still not the best, but he's an excellent surgeon with real talent who recognizes his patients are human and--"

"You hear yourself, Addie? The guy's got you charmed."

Addison's shoulders slumped, and her jaw slacked. "I don't know why I try, Mark. Obviously your mind is set in believing something as ridiculous as me liking Karev, and nothing will change your mind."

She walked away from him, turned the corner, and walked past the patient she had wanted to check on before the surgery to go to the restroom instead. After ensuring that no one was in the stalls, she stood in front of the mirror, put her hands on the sink, leaned forward, closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and whispered, "you don't like him. Not like that."

She opened her eyes, looked up at the mirror, and repeated to her reflection, "you don't like him. You don't."


	17. Chapter 16

**Title:** Leave a Trail (16/x)  
**Rating:** T  
**Character(s)/Pairing(s):** Addison Montgomery, Alex Karev, Izzie Stevens, Mark Sloan; est. Kevin/Addison  
**Summary: **Set a few years post season four, Addison Montgomery finds herself back at Seattle Grace, albeit to find that things are quite different. Along with her life set and in order, she sees that many of the doctors have also come to terms with love life. As time progresses, however, these doctors will witness the phrase 'the more things change, the more they stay the same' manifest. (AU post mid-S4)  
**Note:** Although I feel it important to explore characters, and I thought it just as important to get into Addison's head some, I didn't quite like how this chapter turned out. I thought about scrapping it, but there are some things that happen here that probably contribute to the direction she's heading, so I kept it. I hope you manage to keep in mind that character development is integral to the story so as to be able to stick through this chapter! :)

* * *

Addison scrubbed her hands a bit too forcibly, and with a lot of speed, and she sighed in relief when she rubbed her hands dry before Alex even came into the room. Her luck wouldn't have it, however, because the second her hand touched the door that led outside, Alex stepped into the room.

"Hey, Addison," he greeted her, as though they hadn't just spent hours in the same operating room, fixing up a newborn no one else believed could survive.

She turned with a smile and replied, "hey."

"Tough surgery," he commented as he looked back between his hands and her face.

"Wouldn't be surgery, otherwise."

"Yeah," he nodded and finished up cleaning his hands. He turned off the faucet and looked up slowly while he said, "we could grab some drinks to celebrate, knock off the edge."

"Um, yes, yes we could," she laughed softly, "but it's late, and I promised Kevin I'd meet him for dinner, so…"

"Yeah, yeah," he shrugged, "that's cool."

She smiled and gave him a nod. "Goodnight, Alex," she said with a wave.

"Night, Addison."

He leaned against the sink's counter, and watched the space she had occupied during their brief conversation. He shook his head then, and left as well.

---

"Addison. Addison." The second time, Kevin said her name with a harsher edge, causing Addison to sit in her seat upright and stare up at him.

"Something wrong?" she asked.

"I don't know. You tell me. You keep zoning out."

"I'm just tired, Kevin," she looked away and drank her wine.

"If you didn't want to have dinner with me Addison, you didn't have to. We're adults. We don't have to put up fronts."

"Don't be ridiculous, Kevin. I'm not putting anything up. Of course I wanted dinner--with you." She set her wine glass down, scooted closer to him, and smiled sweetly. She ran a hand through his hair and studied his eyes.

"I'm not being ridiculous," he muttered, and swerved his head to shake Addison's hand off.

"Kevin, please, I'm trying."

"You shouldn't have to try intimate moments, Addison. If you want to try anything, try treating me like more than just your boyfriend. At least try to stop calling me things like ridiculous."

"You are more than my boyfriend, Kev! I love you, and you've done so much for me these past few years…you've been there and you've loved me, and I swear, I'm not like this on purpose. You know I can be very open with you, and I've been there for you, too."

"And you've treated it like a chore half of the time," he grumbled before getting up from his seat.

"Hey, hey!" Addison followed him, "we're not done here!"

Kevin stopped short, and she could hear a large sigh from him. Slowly, he turned to her. "I'm sorry, it's been a long day for me, too."

"I get that, Kevin. But I can't stand thinking for one second that all it will take for you to walk away from us is one of these little arguments. Just…please Kevin, you wouldn't do that…you wouldn't?"

Her eyes were red, and although no tears fell from her yet, it was pretty clear that she was blinking back the threatening droplets.

"Come here," he whispered and extended his arms. Addison bit her lip and walked over to him. She wrapped her arms around him, and pressed her face to his chest. "Thank you," she whispered to him, then pressed a kiss to his lips.

Addison didn't know if she could survive another relationship unraveling. She could be the strongest person in the world who after much heartbreak and afflictions still believed in love, but strength didn't slow the rush of impact. In fact, it quickened it so as to have everything dealt and felt in one colliding moment.

---

"Dr. Montgomery? Dr. Montgomery," Alex nearly yelled her name the second time.

"I'm sorry, yes?" she took her glasses off in a scramble and turned in her chair to look at Alex.

"I knocked, but you didn't answer, so I just came in," he said, explaining why he was suddenly in her office.

"That's fine. I was just a bit distracted by…things. So, what do you need?"

"Mrs. Crawford's just been discharged, but she wanted to thank you personally before leaving."

"She's a very sweet woman," Addison said, but the smile on her lips looked superficial and her eyes seemed glaze with disinterest, but he went on anyway.

"You gonna go down, or want me to tell her something…?"

"No, I'll go down in a second. I just have to get a few files in order to take down with me." She turned back in her chair and grabbed some papers. Alex, still standing in the doorway, watched her carefully.

"You alright, Dr. Montgomery?"

"I am perfect," she answered quickly and stood up. She grabbed the file she had stuffed the papers in, put her glasses back on, and turned. "I am working in a real hospital, I have a boyfriend, and my patients love me. Everything is alright," she smiled, but as she zipped by him, Alex heard her murmur, "for now."

---

"This bar is bad luck," Callie mused.

"Why's that?"

"Because men hit on you here. Women hit on you here. And more often than not, you'll end up sleeping with those people who hit on you, and in two weeks, everything's gone to hell. I'm telling you, this bar is bad luck. It's evil, pure evil."

"Blaming your problems on a bar, Callie? I never thought you to be the type."

"Hey, at least I didn't run away to a sunshine state when an intern rejected me."

"At least I didn't marry the help."

"That is a low blow," Callie lightly punched Addison's arm.

"I'm just teasing," Addison laughed.

"Uh huh. You know you're just jealous because you never got half as far with your intern."

"I am not. And I did not run away because of some intern," Addison said, as though offended, but she laughed again. "God, I missed this."

"Having a sexually confused best friend or drinking in a bar with a sexually confused best friend?"

"You're not confused," Addison cocked an eyebrow at her.

"Not anymore, but that is beside the point. And I know what you mean--I missed this too. Miranda is great, but the bar isn't exactly her scene."

"Oh, I remember," Addison looked off into the bar, remembering her previous times there. A more recent time came to mind, and she shook her head.

"What?" Callie asked, having seen her shake.

"Nothing. Just remembering," she drawled out, keeping her gaze away from Callie's.

"Come on, I know you've got something on your mind. Spill," Callie shook Addison's arm, hoping her friend would speak honestly once and for all, "I know something's wrong. Something's been wrong since you got here. No one but moi has been able to tell, of course. You're good Montgomery, but I'm better. So spill."

Addison sighed and brushed aside her hair.

"I didn't want to come back. I mean, I was looking forward to seeing you, Miranda, Richard, maybe even Derek, but…I didn't want to come back just to feel like an outsider. I've been gone so long, and when I was here, things rarely fit. I do remember loving this place sometimes, but when I didn't enjoy the crazy life of Seattle Grace Hospital, I hated it. I hated myself. I didn't want to feel that again."

"Addison, you've got yourself together. You always have. So now that you're here, do you see how stupid that thinking was?" she smirked.

"Yes," Addison paused, "I did. But then…look, none of what I'm about to say makes sense, not even to me. But at the risk of sounding like a complete fool, here it is--if anything, I was hoping that having Kevin here with me would reassure me that the right man and the right life was in fact in California. I was hoping that us taking this supposed vacation would let us relax and really feel."

Addison stopped herself and licked her lips. "I thought to myself in LA, Callie, I thought maybe I was just holding onto Kevin because I felt I had to settle. When we decided to come here, then, I thought maybe my irrational conjecture was just that--irrational. Because I love him, and we are happy. We can go weeks without an argument and we can sit on the couch and say nothing, and he looks comfortable being there, but I feel…"

"Suffocated."

"No. Not suffocated. Just pointless. Like we've been stuck in the first year of a relationship year after year. Three years now, Callie, and it still feels like we're in our first."

"Well, have you guys talked about that? Because let me tell you, Addie, when I see you two, you look like a perfectly happy couple. Which actually is a little strange. But you didn't seem to have any problems. Which is why I ask if you've talked with him."

"It's crazy, Callie!" she laughed, "how can I talk to him about something so crazy. It's not like he feels the same way, because he's talked marriage, and he was the one who got us to move in together. I'm the problem, Callie, I am. He's a great guy, but all I do is drive him away, and when he is on the point of driving away, I drag him right back in!"

"Okay…let's go outside," Callie whispered, noting that the people nearby were starting to look at Addison as if she had lost her mind.

---

"This place makes me cry like a baby. Seattle, the city of rain, tears, and more rains," Addison giggled as she blew her nose into a tissue Callie had provided, "ugh, that's a terrible joke. But it's not just me. I know it's not."

"Nope, it's not. The best of us lose our minds in this city," Callie nodded in agreement. She rubbed her friend's arm, and the two sat in silence for a moment.

"Oh, God," Addison rubbed her eyes, "swear you won't tell anyone any of this, Callie. Not the crying, not the doubts about my relationship, none of it."

"I won't."

"Thank you," Addison smiled softly up at her friend.

"Oh geez, you're not going to kiss me are you?" Callie moved her head away.

"I may not know where my relationship with Kevin is going, Callie, but I do know that you are not my type."

The women laughed and stayed outside for a few minutes longer, before they left.

---

Kevin was already fast asleep when Addison returned to their hotel room. She headed in for a shower, blow dried her hair with the restroom door closed, hoping to not wake up Kevin. She did this successfully, up until she crept into bed beside him.

"You just get home?" he mumbled, still half asleep.

"About 20 minutes ago. I was at the bar with Callie."

"Hmmm," he nodded, and pulled her closer to her. Addison crossed her arms over his, and leaned into his chest. Sleep didn't come very easy for her, though.

---

"Alright Dr. Montgomery, I know I'm not your friend or anything other than your resident, but something's up and you're acting weird, so either you're going to talk or kick me off your service until you decide to talk."

"Now what in the world makes you think you have the right to just come in here and talk to me like that?"

"What makes you think you can avoid talking to me or the nurses, or even the patients? I know this isn't where you really work, but you can't just go and alienate everybody!"

"That is enough, Karev! Out of my office!"

"No."

"You really have some nerve, Karev. But fine, if you don't want to work me anymore, then don't. I can do my work just fine without a resident or intern--I'm sure Mark would love to have your help in plastics, though."

"So what, you're going to push me away? Run away from your problems? Is that what you do when you're tired of the people in your life, Dr. Montgomery? I'm surprised you've managed to keep a boyfriend for so long."

"Always an insult or a joke with you, Alex. I've had enough."

Addison marched over to him, and pushed the door of her office in front of Alex, who was standing in the doorway. Alex fought, however, and pushed the door back, as he was stronger.

"Dammit, Karev," she cursed, "fine, I'll leave."

He wouldn't have it. He pulled her back into the office and closed the door, leaving both of them inside.

"I will have the Chief know about this, Alex, and you'll lose your residency he--"

His lips cut her off, and her momentary surprise was replaced by her want of him. She kissed him back, shook off his coat, indulged in the feeling of his hands on her bare stomach. They threw things off her table, and she felt the pang of her back hitting the wooden surface.

"Alex--" she moaned, his fingers lining her underwear as his other hand undid the button of her skirt.

He kissed her again, and the voice that told her this was wrong--

Woke her up.

Addison's eyes flew open, and it took a moment after seeing she was flat on the left side of the hotel's bed that she vaguely remembered her dream. She squeezed her eyes shut, opened them again, and looked over to the right side. Kevin was still very asleep.

"Shit," she muttered to herself, in disbelief that she had a dream of Alex. "I hate Seattle," she muttered before throwing a pillow over her head and forcing herself back to sleep, hoping she wouldn't dream anymore.


	18. Chapter 17

**Title:** Leave a Trail (17/x)  
**Rating:** T  
**Character(s)/Pairing(s):** Addison Montgomery, Alex Karev, Izzie Stevens, Mark Sloan; est. Kevin/Addison  
**Summary: **Set a few years post season four, Addison Montgomery finds herself back at Seattle Grace, albeit to find that things are quite different. Along with her life set and in order, she sees that many of the doctors have also come to terms with love life. As time progresses, however, these doctors will witness the phrase 'the more things change, the more they stay the same' manifest. (AU post mid-S4)  
**Note:** Enjoy. :)

* * *

Mark rubbed the temple of his forehead and flinched when his too-eager intern popped up in front of him and chirped "one bone-dry cappuccino for my attending!"

He snatched the cup from her hand, and complained, "I'd say thank you but you lose points for yelling."

"Uh, Diane," Izzie came to stand beside Mark, "why don't you grab Miss Marino's chart for Dr. Sloan? Please and thank you."

After the intern left, Izzie chastised Mark by saying, "Dr. Ortega's a good intern. You should be nicer."

"She's a suck-up. An overly-enthusiastic one." Still, he smiled politely to the intern when she returned with the file. He took it from her hands, immediately handed it to Izzie and they walked in silence for a bit as they walked to the patient's room.

Half-way there, Mark spoke up. "Bailey told me that before our patient last week, you had only worked in aesthetics a few times before."

"It's not my field of interest."

"You're specializing in general surgery?"

"Yes, but--"

"Then it's your field of interest. And I have a lot to teach, so--"

She scoffed at that. "No offense, Dr. Sloan, but you've never been an especially patient, much less an especially effective, teacher."

"I've improved."

"I really should not judge then, Dr. Sloan," Izzie said with a slight tone of condescension.

They arrived at the patient's room and Mark stopped at the entrance. "Dr. Stevens, I know we're pretending we didn't converse, just as I know we haven't forgotten about it. I am a better teacher, and along with several other things, I'm going too prove that to you."

He grinned his infamous grin, and before Izzie could so much as roll her eyes at him, Mark walked into the room and began charming the patient, which was in fact one of his proven talents.

---

Lexie knocked on the on-call room the nurses had told her Alex was sleeping in, and after hearing Alex's invitation for her to come in, entered.

"Hey. Dr. Montgomery's not coming in 'till noon, so we've got her patients until then."

Alex stretched his arms over his head, and nodded, "okay."

"Didn't get much sleep, huh?"

"Couldn't sleep," he admitted.

"Well hey, if you'd like to try to rest some more, I can get the interns to help--"

"Nah," he shrugged and lifted himself from the bed, "I wouldn't be able to sleep anyway." Slowly, he walked over to her, debating whether or not to tell her about Derek. After pausing in front of her, he thought it better to tell her than Izzie.

"Lexie."

"Yeah?"

"Derek knows."

"Derek knows?"

"He knows about Marie. Sloan told him about him and Iz, and Shepherd figured it out."

"Oh," Lexie responded, then, "oh! And he, he just told you that he knew?"

"He basically admitted to figuring it out yesterday when we were getting our tuxedos fitted. I haven't told Iz, and he said he wouldn't tell Sloan. Figured if I had to tell someone about Shepherd, it better be you rather than Iz."

"Sure, of course," she nodded, but the nagging voice that was all-too curious suddenly jumped out of her throat, "but is that all you had to tell someone? Because, Alex, it's written all over your face--you're tired of lying and-"

"I'm fine."

Having found the courage, Lexie insisted. "But you're not fine, and you've been even worse since Dr. Sloan got back. You're avoiding Izzie more often, and she told me that when you are with her, you don't talk as much. And you've been leaving the house more often-"

"That's just crap."

"I'm not blind. I ramble and clueless sometimes, but I can see, and Izzie told me you were being a little more distant than usual, which she's trying to ignore, but frankly, it's a little too obvious that you're avoiding Izzie." Lexie finally took a breath and looked down at the floor.

At her pause, Alex said, "just ignore it, Lexie."

"I can't!" she yelled, irritated. "I can't, even though I know that's what you would love Alex, because hey, you're Alex! Mister ignore things and don't get into other people's business, Alex. But Izzie is my friend, and Marie is her world, and you are frustrated with it all. You've even been spending more time with Dr. Montgomery. You're either working with her or grabbing a drink at the bar with her!"

"You spying on me or some shit?"

"I don't have to spy! I saw you, like a month ago with her at Joe's. And Callie mentioned randomly that she was at the bar with you and Dr. Montgomery a couple of weeks ago."

"Two times, Lexie? I've grabbed a drink with you more than a couple of times. With Torres, Shepherd, hell even Yang. It doesn't mean anything."

Lexie opened her mouth to dispute some more, but it was true. A drink with someone didn't necessarily mean anything, especially since it was so common for the doctors to go out after their shifts with their colleagues. More over, Lexie knew that Alex was specializing in obstetrics. Objectively speaking, it made sense for him to want to work with the best, Dr. Montgomery. In a (not completely) resigning sigh, she bit her lip and said, "Okay, fine."

Alex shoved past her and grabbed the doorknob.

"But--" Lexie began before Alex opened the door, "I've seen how you look at her, Alex, and I know that you've used other women to get away from other women before, so you try anything, and I--I swear, I'll do whatever I have to make sure Izzie doesn't get hurt just because you can't face your problems."

Alex chuckled. "I'm not the one who can't face things. It's Izzie."

He looked over his shoulder to Lexie, whose face fell. Perhaps going on Izzie's side on the issue wasn't the best avenue to start with. Alex saw that Lexie was starting to believe this, hence her adamant determination to detect and deplete any possible disruptions. Izzie, however, would be the largest obstacle. From the start, she had covered the smallest of holes in her life since Marie to protect the family they had built, and it would take a lot for her to pull away from the dissolving dam and let the waters crash in. And they all very well knew that with dams, the more water built up, the larger the flood.

---

Alex stood at the nurses station, observing the room in which Sloan and Izzie were currently speaking to a patient. He shouldn't have been too concerned because it was normal for Sloan to charm his patients and involve the interns or residents in the room with him. It wasn't strange for Izzie to play along--before any petty dislike, Izzie put her patients, but the manner in which she just hung back and laughed with Dr. Sloan made him the tiniest bit uneasy. Izzie may not be his real girlfriend, but she was a friend he really cared about, susceptible to traps of the heart, and he didn't want her slipping into any traps of Mark.

"You seem a little distracted, Dr. Karev."

Alex looked over his shoulder after hearing Addison's voice.

He didn't respond to her comment, and instead only greeted her with a "hey Addison."

She shot him a quick smile before flipping through a chart in her hand.

"I'm going to check on the Henderson baby," she told him.

He nodded and turned his head back in the direction he was looking before she had called out to him. Curious as to what it was that had his attention, Addison walked a few steps closer to Alex and peaked her head over his shoulder. She scanned the open rooms of patients and didn't see anything especially peculiar. Then she heard Mark's booming voice, and her eyes snapped to the room where he was speaking to young girl. Addison couldn't help but crane her neck to see whatever it was that had Alex so entertained.

She couldn't hear exactly what Mark was feeding the girl, but it was some sort of exaggerated explanation and result of whatever surgery the girl was getting. It was after Addison moved to get a better view of the room that she saw Dr. Stevens standing at the edge of the patient's bed, and a laugh escaped the doctor. Mark turned to Stevens when she laughed, and he winked at her. Addison saw the back of Stevens' head shaking and the laugh stopped.

Addison looked back at Alex, and yes, it was that scene that he was watching intently. She could only see the right side of Alex's face from where she stood, but it was enough to see that he wasn't exactly observing the interaction with pleasure, but rather with what sort of looked like dissatisfaction. It was odd.

---

Ten minutes later, Addison was just finishing a check on the vitals of the Henderson baby and telling the nurse to page her at the first sign of any abnormalities when Alex Karev came in.

He waited until Addison finished speaking to the nurse until he walked up to her.

"He pulled through the night. Lexie's been keeping an eye on him every hour."

"That's good," she smiled. She looked over to the baby and focused on the heart monitor.

"Everything fine, Dr. Montgomery?"

She nodded, then looked at him to verbally answer, "yes. How are you?"

He paused, if all for a second, but said, "I'm good."

"And Dr. Stevens. How is she?"

His brows furrowed, but he gathered it wasn't entirely, or at all, strange for a person to inquire about a person's loved ones.

"She's good, too."

"I heard she's working with Dr. Sloan. How's that going?"

"Uh," he paused and cleared his throat. "She's hanging in there. He can really be an asshole sometimes."

Addison chuckled. "He definitely has a way with patients, though. Well, patients and girls, but that's another subject altogether."

Addison could tell he was getting slightly uneasy, and her curiosity was beginning to get the best of her. She could not pinpoint the reason for her curiosity, however. It seemed as if she was just looking for something that was not there, and for no reason at all, too.

"No, it's the same thing," Alex said after some moments of silence. "He charms them while they're here, makes them love him, and then it's done and he starts all over again. Only difference is that the patients leave when he's done, and he's the one to leave the girls when he's done."

There was something behind his words that suddenly made Addison uncomfortable. She didn't say anything in response to his analogy. For a few seconds they stood beside each other, then Addison caught Alex's gaze and maybe it was two seconds (it felt this short when the moment was over) or maybe it was an entire minute (it felt this long during the moment), but after however many seconds, Alex smiled at her, and all she could remember was her dream from the night before.

"I have to speak with the Hendersons about their baby," she said.

"Addison."

The way he pronounced her name made her nervous, and damn it she didn't want anything more than to snap herself out of this because what the hell was she thinking? It made absolutely no sense for her to be having dreams of Alex Karev of all men, for her to become overtly aware when he was focusing on someone other than her when she was speaking, and for her to not want to look away when he was looking at her like, like…

She blinked. "Yes."

Whatever it was he wanted to say, he seemed to change his mind about it, because he shook his head and said, "never mind."

It had barely been two months, but it had been building. He realized this when he realized that he kept looking to catch their gaze, when he realized that he kept stalling her from leaving whenever they were anywhere together, when he realized he looked forward to seeing her, when he realized he wanted to be alone with her.

On his part, it was building. Maybe not on her part. She did seem to enjoy time with him, but he doubted she enjoyed it in the same way. After all, her boyfriend never failed to come up in one way or another, and their relationship was actually a relationship.

Alex nearly got a laugh over his realization of what was building on his part, because really, he was falling for Addison? No. He was just overreaching. He was being idiotic and looking for a way out. That's what the sudden taking to Addison was.

He liked Addison. Almost…wanted Addison.

But he had Izzie and Marie, and that conflict that nagged at him constantly--that conflict he remembered everyday, fought off, and didn't give into, everyday was making him more and more tired. He feared he was getting to the point where he would just blow off the conflict.

And so he told himself he wanted Addison because it was the easy way to blow things off.

He would have believed the explanation a few years back.

The explanation would have been true a few years back.

---

"I didn't like you. For a long time, you were just an asshole that Meredith was blindly in love with."

"Please tell me that is not your best man speech," Derek flinched.

"Nah, that one's got a better…punch line," he joked.

"Good to know."

The men took a pause and just looked around the bar. It was only after Alex finished his beer that he started up again.

"I don't get why women think you're McDreamy or whatever, but after you stuck around for good with Mer, and even withstanding some baby vomit on your expensive shoes, I could tell you were a good guy. Since you asked me to be your best man, I figured I was probably your friend."

"You didn't think we were friends?"

"Dude, I'm tryna not get all on girly on you, alright?"

"Relax, Karev. I know what you mean."

"Alright, so what I'm going to tell you, you're going to have to keep to yourself."

"No, no secrets. If Meredith were ever to find out, no--" Derek waved his arms and moved out of his seat, but Alex pulled him back down.

"I don't like this any better, so relax," Alex rolled his eyes.

"Fine. Get it over with, Alex."

"Alright, I--and you can't get mad either."

Aggravated, Derek clenched his fist. "Alex."

"Before Addison left, I had sex with her."

"Oh my God." Derek buried his head in his hands. "This is not happening," he said to himself.

"Alright, Shepherd, if you're angry, then get on with it."

Derek looked at Alex sharply and pointed a finger at him.

"You and Mark--you're the same. Sleeping with women you shouldn't be sleeping with, and then admitting it when it's too late for--whatever reason you told me. Why did you tell me?"

"Because I liked her. But whatever, sometimes you like a chick, and what are you gonna do about it? I blew her off before and after we had sex."

"Addison is not just some _chick_, Alex. How could you do that to her?"

"I don't know. But I did, like I had done a dozen times before with other girls."

"Why are you bringing this up, then?"

Alex scratched his head. He opened another beer, but only stared down the open bottle.

"I blew her off back then and it was easy enough. I'm not sure how to blow off whatever I'm feeling now. She's only been back two months and she's got a boyfriend, but I like working with her. I like talking to her. And look, are you going to stop me anytime soon 'cause I'm sounding like a fucking idiot."

Derek looked at him in disbelief. "That's because you are."

He drew in a breath and went on. "You have a daughter," he told Alex in a low, but berating voice, "and you have Izzie to think about. Whatever else you feel doesn't matter. You said it, just yesterday you said it: only Marie matters. Don't screw up, Alex. Leave Addison the hell alone, and protect those who depend on you. Because Izzie is my friend too, now, and Marie, she's like my little niece and I've seen how much that girl adores you, her dad. So unless you're willing for everything to come out then don't be a fucking idiot."

Derek shook his head, drew in a deep breath, and turned his seat away from Alex's. Shepherd had laid it out plain and simple, but letting the whole truth would be easier said than done. There was also the question of whether Alex's so-called feelings had any basis in the first place, or if he was only projecting onto the flame closest in proximity.

They had been quiet for several minutes, had just been staring off into the bar as they finished off a couple more beers, when Alex heard Derek laugh softly.

Alex raised an eyebrow at him. "What?"

Derek just laughed for some more seconds then glanced over at Alex.

"You slept with Addison. Mark slept with Izzie. Now you're with Izzie, Addison's with this Kevin, Mark is single, and I know I haven't said it outright and you haven't even admitted what I not only suspect but know to be true from our vague words on the subject, but Mark and Izzie had a child together.

But that child is being raised by you and Izzie. Any other place in the world, it would be completely abnormal, but it seems as though things are finally back to being unusual and complicated here in Seattle."

Alex looked around him to make sure no one was listening in, and he nearly scowled at Derek for just saying all of that aloud. But truthfully, Alex had been wanting to hear it all vented out loud for ages. Izzie had Lexie to talk to and listen without any boundaries, because Lexie knew the complete unadulterated truth. He never would have guessed that he'd have Derek (Sloan's best friend? The supposed McDreamy) to talk about this, but he didn't quite resent Derek for figuring out the truth anymore.

"Do you really like her, Alex? Addison, I mean?"

"I don't know," Alex looked down, "but if I do, it'll go away."

"You don't sound very sure about that."

Alex shrugged. "Doesn't matter. I'm not going back on my word to Izzie."

"What is your word? Why did you and Izzie decide to do all of this?"

"Can we go back to pretending that all you had were your suspicions and all I didn't deny nor confirm much?"

"No," Derek said with a small grin, "if you're going to tell me your secrets, they can't just be half-way."

"Fine," Alex responded. He sat back in his seat, crossed his arms over his chest, and began--"four years ago, I was in the locker rooms, alone. I had just done a surgery with Izzie, on this pregnant woman, but neither survived. Izzie came in awhile after I was in there, she sat next to me, and I knew she had been crying. Her eyes were red, her cheeks puffy, and we just sat there, quiet for a long time when she told me she was pregnant…"

---

Izzie didn't like ringing Alex up on his phone unless it was about some hospital emergency or something regarding Marie, but it was the second time that week he didn't come home for the night.

"Alex hey, it's Izzie. I don't know if you're at the hospital, or…look, I'm just making sure you're okay. Call me when you can, bye."

Izzie leaned against the kitchen counter and shook her head at both herself and Alex.

"Momma?" Marie called out. Izzie turned to her daughter. "I'm getting your cereal, baby."

Izzie poured milk over the cereal in the bowl she had momentarily abandoned to dial Alex up, and after setting the bowl in front of Marie, her phone rang.

"Careful, hun," Izzie cautioned Marie about the bowl as she jogged to the phone.

"Hello?…Hey, Alex, yeah I'm getting Marie ready to head her off to daycare…oh, you're at Derek's? Okay, no that's fine…uh-huh, see you there…Sure, I'll tell her…okay, see you later, bye."

"Daddy?" Marie called out, with wide, inquisitive eyes.

"Daddy said hi, baby!" Izzie smiled at her daughter, walked over to her, and bent down to place a kiss on her forehead, "and that's a kiss for you, just from him."

Marie squeezed her eyes shut and smiled brightly, giggled for a second, then returned her full attention to her cereal.

---

Alex shoved his cell phone back in his pocket, threw his jacket on, and swiftly made his way down the steps of Meredith's and Derek's home. There was some construction going on in the large living room on the first floor, so he would have to make his way out through the kitchen, and knowing Derek, the man was probably already up making breakfast.

"Hey Shepherd," Alex said when he reached the kitchen.

Derek took a moment to look up from the eggs he was mixing to greet Alex. "Good morning Alex. Want to eat something before you leave?"

"No, I'm fine. I'll just get out of your way."

"Okay, well, Alex just remember what we discussed last night. Addison has a boyfriend and you have…"

"Yeah, yeah. Dude, we've talked about it more than enough. I got it."

"Good," Derek said with a nod and a smile, "good."

"See you at the hospital," Alex waved, "and don't tell Mer."

Derek chuckled. Meredith had a way with finding out secrets, and Alex just as well as Derek knew that. Like everything else, Derek knew, it was only a matter of time.

---

"Izzie, I was out with Shepherd. We were having some drinks. I don't see what the problem is."

"Shh. Keep it down," Izzie hissed.

"Iz, you pulled me into the on-call room. I should be drilling my interns about Mr. Samuels. Instead, I'm arguing with you over me not coming home! If you want to keep it down, then we should just quit wasting our time!"

"Alex, please, the entire hospital doesn't need to know about our business!"

"Our--?" Alex sneered.

"Alex…" Izzie paused. She scanned his face, noting how tired he looked. She went over to the bed, sat down, and cleared her throat.

"It's not healthy for Marie to see her father out so often. And I know that I have no right to nag you, Alex, but you've just been getting so distant lately. Especially since Mark came around. You're supposed to be more present than ever, Alex."

"Come on, Iz, I'm not the only one here who's gotten more difficult to get at since Sloan's arrival. Neither of us can stand the guy. It's irritating how he's obviously trying to get back into your good graces and I still can't get over how he asked about Marie, but we're good if we just don't let him get to close."

"Are you implying that I'm letting him ge--"

"No, Iz. I know you're the last person who would want that to happen, but the guy's got a way and you've got to be careful, because the second he sees your guard down when you two are alone--without a patient to be aware of or a friend to be interfere--he's going to take advantage."

"I wouldn't--"

"I know how guys like him work, and I've worked like that before. The other person doesn't matter with guys like that. If they see a chance, they'll take it before you know what hit you. So just be careful."

"I will be. But can we get back to the topic of you not coming home last ni--"

"There's nothing to talk about there, Iz. Sometimes I just have to get away, and you know that."

"But--"

Alex didn't wait to let her finish. He walked out, she hung back, tears stinging her eyes, but she rubbed her chest, let out a breath, and left the room to head to her own patient.

---

"Dr. Karev…are you alright?"

"Yeah," Alex nodded to Addison with a rigid smile.

"Back to lying to me, huh?" she winked.

"No, I'm--"

"It's okay, Alex. Really, we all have off days."

Alex's smile relaxed, and Addison smiled back. After a few seconds, Addison noticed that from the door Alex had just come out from, Izzie practically flew out of in a flash.

"Did you and Dr. Stevens," Addison said while pointing to the quickly vanishing Izzie, "have a disagreement?"

"Just the usual relationship crap," Alex muttered, hinting that he didn't want to talk about it.

"Isn't it always," she laughed, "but it's worth it…"

She looked off for a second with a small smile that slowly faded.

"Anyway," she laughed again, "I hope you work it out. You and Dr. Stevens…So, the Henderson baby pulled through another night, proving he's strong enough for the surgery. In two hours, we'll be performing surgery, Dr. Karev, don't be late."

---

"You alright, Dr. Stevens?" Mark asked her after they finished a surgery, having noticed her disconnect from the patient just as they went in to perform. That and she kept sighing throughout the surgery. He had to call her out a couple times throughout so she wouldn't zone out.

"Absolutely," she answered.

"I really despise lies," Mark said.

Izzie shut off the faucet with which she was rinsing her hands, and proceeded to dry her hands.

"If you ever want to talk about this supposed 'absolutely' state of yours, you know where you can find me."

She never paused on the way from drying her eyes to the door.

---

Alex slung his backpack over his shoulder, his gym clothes inside.

"Going home?" Addison asked.

"Gym."

"Wow, from the OR to the gym. Plan on sneaking in some rest anywhere in there?"

"Rest is overrated," he smirked.

"Hey, I like overrated."

"Grab a drink with me, then."

The smiled that had been playing over Addison's lips slipped then and she looked away from him.

"Alex, we…I'm probably making too much of it, but the amount of time we already spend in this hospital in addition to those occasional lunches we've spent talking instead of eating, and those few times we've gone to Joe's together, or met up there, I…I'll just say it--it's strange for two people to be in each other's company that often when there are others to consider. Weird, even. Don't you think?"

Alex shifted his weight. He spotted Izzie walking out of the elevator by the chairs he and Addison were standing near, so quickly he said, "I don't care. It's been awhile since I liked someone--someone's company like that."

Addison felt her throat go dry, and she almost wanted to laugh, because surely he was teasing. Or maybe he just meant it in a way that didn't adhere to where her mind first went. Thankfully she didn't have to respond to Alex's…admittance, because Izzie Stevens suddenly showed up by Alex's side.

"Alex, Addison."

"Uh, hi, Dr. Ste--Izzie."

Izzie smiled to Addison quickly, then turned her head to Alex. "Did you come in your car or--"

"Yeah. I'm heading over to the gym now."

Izzie stiffened and she fought a twitch. "I was planning on cooking some salmon and--"

"I'll eat when I get home, you and Marie don't have to wait for me."

Izzie scratched her head, and glanced over at Addison with a weary smile.

"I'll just," Izzie pointed at the doors of the hospital, "alright Alex, I'll just see you later then."

All too apprehensively, Izzie leaned over and kissed Alex on the cheek. Alex never moved, and Addison could see that Izzie was fighting herself to not make a scene. Izzie waved to Addison, and quickly made her way out.

When Izzie was out of sight, Alex looked at Addison and opened his mouth to speak, but Addison beat him to the punch.

"You should head home, Alex. It's not my place but…it's not yours either. Catch up to Dr. Stevens. I never knew her very well, but I knew that she was strong and even strong-willed, and a woman like that doesn't let people get away with things and doesn't fight unless there's something else going on with her."

"About what I said Addison--"

"No," Addison put up her hand, "I don't want any sort of clarification. The mother of your child, however, and you may need some. Go."

Those were Addison's defenses, and something inside Alex ached when he saw her acting in that manner. Had he, with one line, managed to shift their boundaries?

"You're right," he said, but he didn't enjoy saying it. "I'll see you tomorrow, Dr. Montgomery."

"Goodbye Dr. Karev."

Addison sat down on a chair after he left. She sat there for a good five minutes, washing out the words "it's been awhile" and "since I liked someone" out of her brain. She'd been down that path with a man or two in her past. She wouldn't be making the same mistake. It probably was nothing more than a mistake, anyhow. He hadn't meant it in that way, she assured herself and finally stood from the chair and left the hospital for the night.


	19. Chapter 18

**Title:** Leave a Trail (18/x)  
**Rating:** T  
**Character(s)/Pairing(s):** Addison Montgomery, Alex Karev, Izzie Stevens, Mark Sloan; est. Kevin/Addison  
**Summary: **Set a few years post season four, Addison Montgomery finds herself back at Seattle Grace, albeit to find that things are quite different. Along with her life set and in order, she sees that many of the doctors have also come to terms with love life. As time progresses, however, these doctors will witness the phrase 'the more things change, the more they stay the same' manifest. (AU post mid-S4)  
**Note:** sorry for the late update. enjoy.

* * *

"Daddy!" the young girl yelled out when her dad strolled into the kitchen.

"Hey baby!" Alex swooped down to pick her up. He kissed her near the earlobe, and Marie giggled.

"Alex," Izzie said in a considerably happy voice, "you're here."

"Yeah." He hoisted Marie on his hip. "You need some help preparing dinner?"

"Um, no, it's fine. Why don't you just play with Marie a bit? I'll call you down when everything's ready."

Alex nodded, "sure, but I kinda want to talk to you first," he said as he slowly set Marie down on the ground.

From his tone of voice, Izzie gathered that she wasn't going to enjoy the conversation, nevertheless, she told Marie, "Marie, go on to your room--your dad will be right there."

Marie nodded and ran off to her room. Alex took a deep breath and then walked on over to Izzie, who was taking out the seasoning for the salmon along with a few other things.

"Iz?"

"Yeah?" she said without turning around.

"We didn't really finish talking earlier."

"Not my fault," she muttered under her breath.

"Look, I'm sorry about that. Everything feels so messed up and I know it's no excuse for treating you like crap, but…things just feel off."

Izzie pushed aside the pan with the salmon and turned over to Alex.

"What things, Alex?"

He blinked a few times before responding. "It's hard for me Izzie. To do this day in and day out. To be with you even though I'm not really with you…"

"We made a choice, Alex. You made a choice--you even insisted."

"It's not like you really resisted, Iz. Hell, you made the suggestion, and you say you were joking at first, but you made the suggestion."

"Okay, so we're both at fault. It's still our choice."

"No, Iz, it's not. Because I wanted to end this over a year ago, when Marie was a year and some months. By now, she would have forgotten that she ever called me daddy."

"Don't say that," Izzie hissed and turned back at the counter. Alex stepped closer and leaned over her shoulder. "It's still not too late, Iz. She's still really young. If we just put this to an end--"

"Stop!" Izzie screamed. She wiped at her eyes and again faced Alex.

"Don't you care about her? Don't you love her?"

"I do," he said without hesitation, "like a father. That wouldn't change. Just her impression of her mommy and daddy being together."

"So Marie would get two separate homes? She'd see her daddy only every other day? Her mommy every other day? Or no, she'd only see her daddy when he wasn't out wasting time and money at some bar or out with some woman."

"I would still be there! I'm a damn good father Izzie! I don't have to be your anything to keep being her father--because living like this, with this lie, that's what's gonna hurt her! Having two parents in the same household who don't love each other when they could instead be with the people they really love!"

"Oh, so this is about love, Alex? Really, you're tired and upset over love? Who's this current infatuation--"

"There is no current infatuation!"

"Then why do you want to leave me?!" she screamed, leaving a heavy silence to fill between them.

"Mommy?" Marie called from the middle of the stairs. Both Alex and Izzie looked over at her. The young girl stood frozen at the staircase, eyes wide with confusion.

"What'd you hear, baby?" Alex said as he slowly made his way over to her.

"Screaming," she drawled out.

Alex climbed the stairs and kneeled down in front of Marie when he reached her. "Everything's fine. Let's go play."

He picked her up and started climbing up.

"I'll call when dinner's ready," Izzie reminded them, and when they were out of earshot, she whispered to herself, "and we'll eat as a family."

--

"I finally got Marie to fall asleep."

"Thank you," Izzie responded.

Alex sat down at the table and played with the place mat in front of him. Meanwhile, Izzie finished cleaning up the dishes. When she was done, she hesitantly went down to sit at the table as well. Alex eyed her, unsure if he should begin or not.

However, Izzie had things she wanted to say, but never did, as well, so she began. "I've had to give up things, too."

Alex nodded at her. "I know."

"No, Alex, you don't." She sighed. "I never told you everything. You don't know why I survived all this. Every year, I'm less and less surprised as to why I haven't been able to have romantic feelings for someone. Every other day, I've been so proud of myself for staying strong and taking what went wrong and turning it into something positive. Every other day, I'm ashamed of myself for fueling something out of hate and--"

Izzie stopped herself. She crossed her arms over her chest and bit her lip.

"You're talking about your hate towards Sloan, Iz?"

"I'm talking about…I'm talking about the love I had for Sloan. I loved him Alex."

The words sounded so strange to Alex and he couldn't quite grasp the new concept.

"You always told me it was just a one-night stand and that it was a mistake."

"It was both of those things. It was both of those things, but only after the days passed without so much as a call from him. He disappeared the day after, and suddenly I hated him and myself for falling for--"

Her voice broke and she looked away.

"Did he know about your feelings?"

She nodded. "He only knew because he told me he wanted to be with me, to be more than just friends. He said he felt something between us, and that's when I told him what I felt. I was such an idiot," she berated herself.

"And that's when you had sex with him."

She nodded again.

"You still got feelings for the guy?"

At those words, Izzie laughed. "It's been four years, Alex. On top of that, he never called, sent an e-mail, or wrote a letter to me from the moment he left my room after we had sex. I don't have feelings for_ the guy_."

"Then why haven't you been able to fall for someone again?"

"Because it wasn't just Mark, Alex. It was Mark after George after Denny after you. I'm not surprised that I'm able to be with you without being with you because I have no desire to be with anyone else. But you, you're tired of not having something real with a woman, and if I were in your position Alex, I'd be fighting me as well. But I'm not in your position, and all I can think about is Marie."

"So we're right back where we started."

Izzie eyed Alex as his throat strained and he sat back in his seat rigidly, with his arms crossed over his chest, and the disproving look in his eyes.

"Is there someone, Alex? Is there a reason why you're so tired of not really being with a person aside from hating the lying?"

Alex's eyes flashed to hers. "It doesn't matter if there is."

"Why? Because it's none of my business?"

Both their voice levels were gradually escalating, but they continued.

"No! Not because of that--because it doesn't matter if there is someone or not, because I've been tired for too long for it to matter if there's someone else!" Alex slammed his hand on the kitchen table and Izzie flinched.

She squeezed her eyes shut, and Alex could see the tears lining her eyes, but he wasn't going to try to console her. He needed her to reach a breaking point so she could see the damage their lie could further cause.

"I want the chance to find something real, Iz. Maybe I've found the person I want to try that with, maybe I haven't. But we all deserve the chance to try."

"Please, Alex," she spoke, eyes still closed, "we can't--"

Alex rubbed his hand over his mouth and forced calm on himself. "Why do you keep fighting this, Iz? You scared people are going to judge us? It doesn't matter what they think or even how much they know. You afraid Marie's going to become jaded? She's three years old. If we decide to tell her, we'll make the changes slowly, just small shifts, one step at a time."

"No Alex, she needs stability, I--I need us for," she stuttered and she broke off, "we're a family. You can't be tired of me, you--"

Alex rose from his seat and went to kneel down in front of Izzie. "Iz, look at me." He pulled her hands into his and rubbed his thumbs over her hands. "Iz, hey…"

Slowly she opened her eyes. They were brimming with tears that were already wetting her eyelashes. "I know what we have to do, Alex," she whispered weakly.

He didn't say anything to that, he wasn't going to push her any further. They'd finally gotten somewhere and he wasn't going to jeopardize that.

Izzie blinked several times, then swallowed down the lump in her throat. "I'm going to need a week, or at least a few days…" she paused, licked her lips, and smiled solemnly at Alex, "I knew we couldn't do this forever. I was just hoping we could last a good 18 years or so."

She shrugged, and continued with her former sentence. "At least a few days, Alex. I have to…get myself together, figure out a way to tell Marie that her mommy and daddy aren't…together. Jesus Christ, how do you even tell a little girl that? It won't make sense to her…"

"And we're going to have to tell her that I'm not her biological father."

"Alex, how..?" she pulled her hands out of Alex's, wiped at her eyes, and looked back at him. "She won't be able to make sense of that."

"It's not going to sound like anything to her if we tell her I'm not her biological father."

"No, we're going to have to tell her that she has another father."

"Yeah, we'll start with that. And then I'll move out."

"Alex--"

"I'm going to have to leave for her to realize that we're not like the other parents she's seen. I'll sleep in the guest bedroom for awhile and then…"

"Then you'll move out…But, Alex? I'm not bringing Mark into the picture."

"I don't like him, Iz, but he's got rights. If I were him, I'd want to know."

"It's not up for discussion. I'm agreeing to…to telling the truth. Oh God, we're going to have to tell Meredith and Derek, then Cristina and…"

"Yeah, about Shepherd, he--"

The phone rang in that moment, and Izzie cleared her throat and reached for the phone. "Hello? Oh hey, Meredith…no, no I'm fine…um, tomorrow night? Yeah, I think we can…oh, okay, see you tomorrow…bye."

Izzie hung up the phone and told Alex, "we're having dinner with Mer and Derek the tomorrow night. They're having Addison and Kevin over, and Meredith didn't want to--and I quote--leave us out."

"Iz, I don't think we should be doing that crap when we're getting ready to end this lie."

"One last time, Alex. We can stick through one last dinner as a couple."

---

"So you and Addie got roped into a dinner with Derek and Meredith?"

Kevin raised an eyebrow at Dr. Sloan, who always seemed to pop up out of nowhere and greeted people in the strangest of ways.

"Hospital gossip. Must be a slow day if that's the rumor of the day--ex-wife joining the dinner of her ex-husband and his fiancee."

Kevin smiled tightly. "We actually had dinner with them back when we first got down here."

"Really? Now how awkward was that?"

"Not awkward at all," Kevin assured him, "we had a pretty normal, enjoyable dinner with Derek, his fiancee, and Izzie and Alex. We're all going to be there again tomorrow night."

"Karev was there?"

Kevin nodded, and looked around, the conversation with Mark feeling strange and almost forced. He didn't understand why Mark was speaking to him and asking questions.

Kevin scratched his head, and said, "Addison's coming out of surgery soon, right? She told me to meet her here at two and it's ten past two now…"

"Sometimes these things take a bit longer, don't worry about it," Mark responded, "if I were you, I'd be more apprehensive at having two old flames near my girl at the same dinner."

Kevin snapped his full attention to Mark. "What do you mean?"

Mark's mouth parted a couple of inches, and he fought to keep his face from showing anything that would contradict what he followed with--"Nothing. Just an error on my part. I was thinking of something else. Now, you're going to have to excuse me, I've got some interns to yell at."

Mark turned on his heel quickly and left Kevin. He hadn't been sure if Kevin knew about Alex and Addison's little tryst or not, and he almost felt guilty for completely letting it slip. Although if Addison's boyfriend wasn't a complete idiot, he probably had his suspicions of Alex now. If Addison were to find out that Mark caused any hypothetical suspicions of Kevin's, he would never hear the end of it.

---

"Addison?"

"Yes?"

She didn't turn to him, which frankly irritated him. He accounted that (the irritation), however, to that which Dr. Sloan had said. There was no reason for him to take out a nagging feeling of "that man was going to tell me something about another flame of Addison's I had no idea about" on her. Surely Addison wouldn't conceal something from him. Despite the issues they had, and their bouts of arguments, surely he and Addison still had a lovely thing, and he didn't wanted to further aggravate their relationship by asking her about another supposed "flame".

"Could you pass the dressing?" he asked her.

Addison nodded, swallowed the food she had been chewing on, patted her chest, passed him the pepper, then returned to vigorously eating.

"You seem nervous," he commented as he put some dressing on the salad he had ordered as his meal.

Again, Addison swallowed her food, then looked up at him with a smile. "I'm just really hungry."

"I can tell. Shouldn't you save that hunger for tonight's dinner, though?" he said with a smirk.

"I'll be hungry again in a matter of hours." She rolled her eyes and sighed. "I miss LA," she said.

Kevin put down his fork. "I thought you were enjoying yourself here?"

"I am, I just…I feel different when I'm here. Less confident, even."

She paused, then chuckled. "I just heard myself say that aloud," she rolled back her shoulders, "it's so silly. A place doesn't do that. And I'm definitely not less confident."

She threw aside her comments, looked back down at her food, and there was a small strange pause she took before picking her fork back up to keep eating. Kevin knew how to read people, but he didn't know how to read Addison in that moment, and that was disconcerting.

---

"You're distracted. Again."

Mark looked from his chart to Izzie, tried to catch where her mind was, but that was an impossible task. They stood at the desk of the entrance to the memorial clinic. He had gone in to do his obligatory "attending looking out for the memorial clinic patients" check only to find Izzie leaning with her back against the desk, clicking a pen in one hand, and biting her bottom lip.

"I'm sorry, what?" she said after shaking her head and looking over at him.

"Dr. Stevens, are you sure you're fine?"

Izzie smiled morbidly as she caught his gaze for his second. "I am," she shrugged, "I'm just wondering…how do you prepare yourself, mentally prepare yourself, when you know your world is about to be…destroyed?"

Mark put aside his chart and put his hands on his waist. "Dr. Stevens, what--?"

"Nothing," she quickly interjected, "just life and--and patients. I know from personal experience what it feels like to have your world fall apart, but it's never the same, and it's never easier and…it's just one of those days."  
She cracked her fingers, gave him a taut smile, then walked away from him. He was itching to go after her, but she seemed distressed enough, and she would hate for him to try to help so his "chase" would go nowhere fast.

---

Their last dinner. Their last dinner as a couple. Izzie laughed at herself. She nearly pitied herself for insisting on Alex and her going to that dinner by saying it would be their last a couple. They had never even been a couple to begin with.

She sat down at the bench outside the memorial clinic and sucked in the tears so begging to come out. She had to keep herself together. She had a surgery later that day, and that night, she had a dinner to attend in which once more, she would put on the façade of her and Alex being a couple. One last time, and at that thought, Izzie had to smile. Knowing that Marie would have a hard time comprehending the situation and putting together that her daddy wouldn't be in the same house as her, hurt. But knowing that she didn't have to lie to her friends anymore, it was a relief. Facing them would be difficult, but at least there was an end in sight to her holding her breath every time she called Alex hers.


	20. Chapter 19

**Title:** Leave a Trail (20/x)  
**Rating:** T  
**Character(s)/Pairing(s):** Addison Montgomery, Alex Karev, Izzie Stevens, Mark Sloan; est. Kevin/Addison  
**Summary: **Set a few years post season four, Addison Montgomery finds herself back at Seattle Grace, albeit to find that things are quite different. Along with her life set and in order, she sees that many of the doctors have also come to terms with love life. As time progresses, however, these doctors will witness the phrase 'the more things change, the more they stay the same' manifest. (AU post mid-S4)  
**Note:** oops, i really got behind here. SORRY. but i've completed all the chapters, so no worries about this not getting done now. enjoy. (:

* * *

Everyone's voices kept coming at light speed to her, and that wasn't the worst of it.

The worst of it was that the voices slowed, crystallized, even paused when she caught sight of Alex Karev.

It felt like this punch in her stomach, mocking her, torturing her for that which occurred between her and Kevin the prior night because of some feelings.

And she knew it was just one of several things that came to stand between her and Kevin, but Alex Karev was tangible. He was a manifestation of sorts of that which went wrong.

Untouched basis'. Fear, communication, comfort, trust. Explored but never delved into.

She hadn't the proper brain or heart to clearly recognize who was at fault for what and if anything would have changed had the aforementioned aspects been given their full and proper attention. She didn't have much of anything that morning. Just a logic that kept reminding her that she was supposed to be working and that there were patients who were entrusting their lives and their children's lives in her hands.

Dr. Addison Forbes Montgomery. Before anything else, and after everything else, she was first and foremost Dr. Addison Forbes Montgomery. Leading neo-natal surgeon in the country.

As such, she took in a deep, heady breath, breathed out, looked away from Dr. Alex Karev, and looked at her current patient's mother.

"We're going to do everything possible to make sure your baby makes the most amazing recovery," Addison reassured the women who looked at the other doctor to find him giving her a similar reassuring smile.

"Thank you," the women nodded nervously, giving Addison's hand a squeeze for her own comfort, then excusing herself from the waiting room, a nurse waiting to show her to NICU unit where the baby was recovering from his surgery.

Addison nodded to herself after the women left, and she shook her hair as she closed her eyes for a few seconds, forgetting she was not alone in the waiting room. When she opened her eyes and pushed the hair from her eyes, she noticed that Alex's eyes were fixated on her face.

She smiled nervously and cleared her throat.

"You alright, Addison?" he said with a disconcerted tone.

"Yes, yes, of course," she nodded, and even she could hear the lies in her words, so she turned away from him and quickly walked away. Not that it stopped Alex from inquiring. He followed her aimless trail, until she was standing at a charts cart.

"Hey," Alex touched her hand, but she flinched away. Alex stared at her as if she had offended him, but he only inched closer to her.

"Addison, what's wrong?"

Addison rifled through the charts, her foot tapping, hands clenching every other movement or so, and she just shook her head. "I'm fine. And it's Dr. Montgomery, Dr. Karev."

Alex pushed the cart out of her way and stood directly in front of her. "Did I screw up? Did I do something--hey, if this is about what I said yesterday on that porch, I'm sorry. Okay, I'm sorry?"

Addison froze at the near pleading infusion of his voice and she stared up at him, shocked at the sincerity so clear in his words. She could only recall a few instances in which he made no effort to mask his emotions.

"No, Alex, it wasn't--" but she couldn't complete the sentence. She glanced down at the floor, then back up at him. And with a slight frown and weary glance, she told him, "Kevin and I broke up."

With those words, a pregnant pause filled between them, and then she walked a few steps backwards, looked around the hospital's halls, and walked away.

*

Meredith kept raising her eyes to Mark as he, she, and Lexie observed the x-rays of an aesthetics patient.

"Meredith, you going to talk to me or keep staring?" Mark said.

"I wasn't--"

"Yes you were," Mark smirked, "not that I can blame you."

Meredith rolled her eyes. "Whatever," she murmured.

"Come on, Grey, if you got something on your mind, just say it."

"I don't have anything on my mind," she shrugged.

The room was quiet for a second, and Lexie opened her mouth when she spotted something on an x-ray, but Meredith spoke again.

"Hey Mark, you and Iz were good friends, right?"

Mark breathed in before giving her a snappy, "yes."

"You two not hitting it off anymore? You not interested in being her friend anymore? Oh hey, you've met Marie, right? Cute little nose, nice dark blonde hair, blue eyes--"

"Meredith," Lexie said forcibly, "maybe you should stop pestering Dr. Sloan."

Lexie and Meredith shot glances at each other. Mark wearily glanced at them before shaking his head. He would never understand women.

"Yes, I've met Izzie's daughter. Why?"

Meredith looked back over at Mark and smiled tightly. "No, I just thought that since you and Izzie were friends, you would know how…lovely her daughter is."

Lexie strolled up to Meredith, and nudged her.

"Mer, we have to talk," she muttered in her ear.

Meredith burrowed her eyebrows at Lexie, but did not have time to respond, as her younger half-sister dragged her outside.

"Ow," Meredith complained when they were outside. Lexie pulled her even farther from the door and hissed at her, "why are you talking to Sloan about Marie?"

"Why do you care if I talk about Izzie's daughter to Sloan?"

The two Grey's squinted their eyes at each other, trying to measure the other's knowledge in regards to Marie.

"You don't know," Meredith said semi-confidently.

"And you do?" Lexie queried. They kept up their unofficial staring contest for several more seconds before Meredith came to the distasteful conclusion that Lexie had to know. She was always hanging around Izzie and taking care of Marie. In conjunction with Lexie snapping at her for bringing up Marie in front of Mark, it made sense.

"You know about Mark, don't you?" Meredith finally asked.

Lexie crossed her arms over chest defensively, and shrugged. "Know what?"

"You're a terrible liar. Don't worry, I wasn't going to tell him about Marie. I was just…curious."

"Curious?" Lexie sneered, "you were dropping hints! Blond hair, blue eyes--Mer, you can't--"

She pulled her hand over her mouth, realizing that she had basically admitted to knowing.

Meredith grinned.

"Yeah well, don't worry, Iz told me not to tell and I hate that she didn't trust me, but I wouldn't tell Sloan."

Lexie sighed in relief and even smiled. "She told you? Thank God. I felt like I was carrying this big secret and I couldn't even talk to Iz about it because she hates talking about it, you know, but now you know and it's like, yay!"

She laughed but Meredith was far from amused.

"I'm walking away," Meredith said, and that she did.

Lexie's shoulders slumped, disappointed, but Meredith was always acting that way, so she shrugged to herself and went back into the x-ray room.

Mark eyed Lexie as she walked back in. "Where's Meredith?"

"Oh," she jumped a little, "she just--left. We were talking about…sister stuff. And now she's gone."

Mark cocked an eye at her suspiciously.

"You're still not telling me something, Dr. Grey."

Lexie bit her lip and turned her back to him. "I have no idea what you're talking about, Dr. Sloan," she chuckled.

She really was a terrible liar.

*

Alex followed Addison as she flung doors open, looking for something, he didn't know what. She opened a couple of on-call rooms, but they were being occupied, and then she opened the door to a supply closet, but that was chalk-full of things. She walked for a couple of minutes more until she flung open a door, poked her head in, and apparently satisfied with the results, she walked in, Alex right on her heels.

He stood against the door while she paced the on call room, one hand on her hip, the other pressed on her forehead. She was breathing heavily, trying to control the full force of reality pulling at her heart.

Alex didn't say anything, letting her breathe as much as she could, although it probably wasn't helping that he had followed her. He knew that.

Addison stopped her pacing and stood in the center of the room. She dropped her hands at her side, and tilted her head at Alex.

"He's gone," she said with a morbid chuckle. It surprised him. He expected her to lash out at him for following her into the room.

"I'm sorry."

She bit the inside of her cheek and shook her head.

"I came all the way up here from LA with my boyfriend, and for what? We were fine there. We were…it was fine. And then Seattle happened."

Alex slowly walked over to her.

"You can't blame Seattle."

Addison fell back a step when Alex reached her. "Then what, Alex? I come here, and Derek's here. Mark's here."

"What about them? They didn't break you and your boyfriend up. You weren't chasing after them."

"That's not the point, Alex."

"Then what is?!" he screamed out.

"The point is--is that they were here and I thought it would be weird, but I got over that. I got over them a long time ago! I got over you a long time ago! But you're here and I have to get over you again!"

Addison shut her eyes in a bolt when she allowed the words to leave her mouth. Alex felt the corners of his mouth fighting off an inappropriate grin and simultaneously his gut churned at her choice of words.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, eyes still closed, "that wasn't…appropriate. I'm aware of your daughter and I respect Dr. Stevens."

Addison wiped at her brow, opened her eyes, sent him a regretful smile, and began walking forwards, but Alex matched her step.

Addison's eyes widened at his motion, and she attempted to move past him again, but failed.

"Alex--"

He placed his hand on her arm, just a small touch as he took one step closer to her.

She kept her eyes steadily on his, the words _"focus Addison, focus"_ running through her head. His eyes were the focal point, the reminder that at most, he and she were friends, and that was the most she was allowed to ever see him as.

Alex was a little more bold. He placed his hands on either side of her forearms, looked at her feet for a good second, then inched up to look directly at the features of Addison's face. He could note every movement in her body. The tension, the apprehension of his proximity, the strained throat, small count of breaths escaping through her parched lips, the dilation of her eyes. He was so acute of everything he didn't know if he could keep all of the truths from escaping his own mouth.

He reached a hand over to the smaller patches of her dark red hair close to her forehead and pinned them back behind her ear. Her eyes never left his.

"Tell me what you want, Addison," he said, his words surprising her more.

"I don't," she began, paused, went on, "I don't understand."

"I don't want you to get over me," he explained his side, "and I don't want to get over…whatever I'm feeling for you. Because I do feel something and I'm not going to throw it away this time."

Addison's breath came in shorter spouts, and she faltered. She fell a step forward, leaning more into Alex. Her eyes flitted to his lips, which didn't escape Alex's notice.

He leaned his head down, his lips brushing against her cheek, and Addison's hand wrapped around the hand he had on her arm.

"Alex," she breathed, lips nearly touching.

"There are things I can give up to make this right," he whispered to her, and in a flash, she pushed his hand off from her hand, moved her head so her cheek faced his mouth, pulled away, and moved around him. Still he followed.

*

Addison didn't go very far this time, but she did head into the restroom--the female restroom.

Alex paused outside the entrance, debating on whether or not to enter, and it was foolish on his part. He couldn't keep intruding on her--he had never been the guy to not recognize a woman's need to just get away. It was a person's right. But he couldn't abandon the path when he had just found out that Addison returned his feelings, so he went inside.

No one was standing at or near the sinks, and even the stalls appeared empty. All except for one.

He tilted his head to ensure that those were Addison's heels, and he knocked on the stall at question. She didn't make a sound, didn't reply. He tried pulling at the stall, but she had fastened the lock.

"Addison, let me in," he called and miraculously enough, he heard the lock unfasten. She didn't push it open for him, though. He pulled the door back carefully. He saw that she sat against the stall, and he probably wouldn't fit, but he tried anyway.

He crept into the stall, standing tightly on the opposite wall, and pulled the door closed behind him, putting on the lock as well.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

She smirked at him, looked around the small bathroom stall, and pinpointed at the toilet just centimeters from her feet. "I could ask you the same thing," she scoffed and shrugged.

She then turned her head back down, buried it in her palms, to hide the tears that she failed to stop.

She was almost broken, like she was reverting to being that fragile thing people would do their best not to set off, and somehow he couldn't help but ache for her. He trudged up to her, knelt in front of her, and took her hands in his. She didn't make a move, tears blurring the ground she stared at. He pulled at her, and she far too weak to protest or hang on any longer, let him pull her into himself.

He pulled her onto his lap, an arm around her back, legs cushioning her body, hand holding her chin. Her tears maybe too many to catch, but it didn't stop him from trying to help her. He pulled her head into his chest, whispered 'shhs,' and kissed her red hair. He rocked her silently, slowly, letting her cling to him. Her mangled cries were painful to his ears, her clutching fingernails made him fear for her own life, and her normally strong frame, now so vulnerable, disturbed him to no end.

"Please Addison, talk to me, tell me what to do--you can't be like this."

"He knew," she whispered, but amidst her chaos he heard her.

"What?" he said, not completely understanding her, and he stopped rocking her.

She turned in his embrace, and wiped the watery residue from her cheeks.

"He knew," she spoke, with that tone that said how dead serious she was. "And I can't do this," she shifted in his arms, "any of this…"

He loosened his hold, and let her move away from him embrace.

"Addison," there was a hint of exasperation in his voice, but his eyes screamed at the terrible way life kept going wrong for them.

"You--you have people relying on you, and I was just left by a boyfriend of three years. And don't tell me we can figure this out, that you are willing to make your sacrifices, because we both know better, we're smarter than that."

He dropped his eyes, hating what this had all come to, and never had he been more tired of the lies. After a moment, he drew his eyes back up to hers. He inhaled deeply, preparing to shift his world around once again, this time without Izzie's content, and he said: "It's a set-up--all of it. From the relationship, to Marie--none of it's real. Well, definitely not the relationship part, but I still love Marie as if she were mine. But her name--Marie's name--it's not some name we picked randomly, or because it's a variation of Mary. The name's got a part of her mom, and her dad," he paused, watching Addison carefully who was on the cusp of grasping his words.

She stood up abruptly, transfixed at the words he was telling her, putting puzzles together until he said the final three words.

"Her real dad."

Addison gaped at his words, bewildered. "A set up?"

"Yeah, we--"

Addison raised her hands, as if telling him to stop, and she pushed her way out of the stall.

"Addison, wait--"

She rushed out of the restroom, out into the halls, where Alex would not stop. Finally, she stopped, turned on her heel, and stared at him angrily.

"Stop talking. Stop following me," she ordered, turned back around, marched away from, and turned a corner to disappear.

From a small distance, Izzie watched Addison chastise Alex and Alex's crestfallen face in response to whatever Alex was telling him. He stood frozen in the middle of a hectic hallway, and Izzie made her way to him.

Izzie touched his shoulder, and he shook it off. When he realized what he had done, he turned to face the person who had touched him, and immediately apologized.

"Sorry," he muttered.

"What happened, Alex?"

"Nothing," he looked away, back in Addison's direction.

"Addison," Izzie said in a small voice, "she's the reason, isn't she?"

"No," Alex answered.

"What happened, Alex?" she asked again.

Alex turned to face her. "She broke up with that Kevin dude. I tried talking to her but, you know, I was never good at that stuff. Whatever."

He brushed past her, and Izzie nearly laughed at herself. The signs had been there. She knew Alex, she knew him very well. The company he kept with Addison and how he responded to Addison's words and glances. She should have seen it. Whatever the case, it wasn't as if Izzie could do much else anymore.

She and Alex were on the verge on unfolding the truth, if only to the remainder of their friends and closest co-workers, but that was all it would take for the entire hospital to find out that she and Alex were not together. There was of course, still the matter of informing Mark before he heard it through the grapevine that Alex Karev was not the father of Isobel Stevens' daughter, which would lead to the irrefutable truth that Mark would quickly come to.

*

Izzie didn't push Alex, knowing he would just deny, deny, deny until the he was so irritated that he just told her what it was that occurred between him and Addison. He would tell her on his own terms.

Addison wound up leaving Alex and an intern or two the remainder of her cases and leaving for the day at her discretion, angering Alex furthermore. But it didn't compare to his anger that arose when the following morning, he searched for Addison high and low until the Chief himself informed Dr. Brandon that which the surgeon would all too enthusiastically told Alex--Dr. Montgomery was, at that moment, on her way back to her own practice in Los Angeles.


	21. Chapter 20

**Title:** Leave a Trail (20/x)  
**Rating:** T  
**Character(s)/Pairing(s):** Addison Montgomery, Alex Karev, Izzie Stevens, Mark Sloan; est. Kevin/Addison  
**Summary: **Set a few years post season four, Addison Montgomery finds herself back at Seattle Grace, albeit to find that things are quite different. Along with her life set and in order, she sees that many of the doctors have also come to terms with love life. As time progresses, however, these doctors will witness the phrase 'the more things change, the more they stay the same' manifest. (AU post mid-S4)  
**Note:** oops, i really got behind here. SORRY. but i've completed all the chapters, so no worries about this not getting done now. enjoy. (:

* * *

Everyone's voices kept coming at light speed to her, and that wasn't the worst of it.

The worst of it was that the voices slowed, crystallized, even paused when she caught sight of Alex Karev.

It felt like this punch in her stomach, mocking her, torturing her for that which occurred between her and Kevin the prior night because of some feelings.

And she knew it was just one of several things that came to stand between her and Kevin, but Alex Karev was tangible. He was a manifestation of sorts of that which went wrong.

Untouched basis'. Fear, communication, comfort, trust. Explored but never delved into.

She hadn't the proper brain or heart to clearly recognize who was at fault for what and if anything would have changed had the aforementioned aspects been given their full and proper attention. She didn't have much of anything that morning. Just a logic that kept reminding her that she was supposed to be working and that there were patients who were entrusting their lives and their children's lives in her hands.

Dr. Addison Forbes Montgomery. Before anything else, and after everything else, she was first and foremost Dr. Addison Forbes Montgomery. Leading neo-natal surgeon in the country.

As such, she took in a deep, heady breath, breathed out, looked away from Dr. Alex Karev, and looked at her current patient's mother.

"We're going to do everything possible to make sure your baby makes the most amazing recovery," Addison reassured the women who looked at the other doctor to find him giving her a similar reassuring smile.

"Thank you," the women nodded nervously, giving Addison's hand a squeeze for her own comfort, then excusing herself from the waiting room, a nurse waiting to show her to NICU unit where the baby was recovering from his surgery.

Addison nodded to herself after the women left, and she shook her hair as she closed her eyes for a few seconds, forgetting she was not alone in the waiting room. When she opened her eyes and pushed the hair from her eyes, she noticed that Alex's eyes were fixated on her face.

She smiled nervously and cleared her throat.

"You alright, Addison?" he said with a disconcerted tone.

"Yes, yes, of course," she nodded, and even she could hear the lies in her words, so she turned away from him and quickly walked away. Not that it stopped Alex from inquiring. He followed her aimless trail, until she was standing at a charts cart.

"Hey," Alex touched her hand, but she flinched away. Alex stared at her as if she had offended him, but he only inched closer to her.

"Addison, what's wrong?"

Addison rifled through the charts, her foot tapping, hands clenching every other movement or so, and she just shook her head. "I'm fine. And it's Dr. Montgomery, Dr. Karev."

Alex pushed the cart out of her way and stood directly in front of her. "Did I screw up? Did I do something--hey, if this is about what I said yesterday on that porch, I'm sorry. Okay, I'm sorry?"

Addison froze at the near pleading infusion of his voice and she stared up at him, shocked at the sincerity so clear in his words. She could only recall a few instances in which he made no effort to mask his emotions.

"No, Alex, it wasn't--" but she couldn't complete the sentence. She glanced down at the floor, then back up at him. And with a slight frown and weary glance, she told him, "Kevin and I broke up."

With those words, a pregnant pause filled between them, and then she walked a few steps backwards, looked around the hospital's halls, and walked away.

*

Meredith kept raising her eyes to Mark as he, she, and Lexie observed the x-rays of an aesthetics patient.

"Meredith, you going to talk to me or keep staring?" Mark said.

"I wasn't--"

"Yes you were," Mark smirked, "not that I can blame you."

Meredith rolled her eyes. "Whatever," she murmured.

"Come on, Grey, if you got something on your mind, just say it."

"I don't have anything on my mind," she shrugged.

The room was quiet for a second, and Lexie opened her mouth when she spotted something on an x-ray, but Meredith spoke again.

"Hey Mark, you and Iz were good friends, right?"

Mark breathed in before giving her a snappy, "yes."

"You two not hitting it off anymore? You not interested in being her friend anymore? Oh hey, you've met Marie, right? Cute little nose, nice dark blonde hair, blue eyes--"

"Meredith," Lexie said forcibly, "maybe you should stop pestering Dr. Sloan."

Lexie and Meredith shot glances at each other. Mark wearily glanced at them before shaking his head. He would never understand women.

"Yes, I've met Izzie's daughter. Why?"

Meredith looked back over at Mark and smiled tightly. "No, I just thought that since you and Izzie were friends, you would know how…lovely her daughter is."

Lexie strolled up to Meredith, and nudged her.

"Mer, we have to talk," she muttered in her ear.

Meredith burrowed her eyebrows at Lexie, but did not have time to respond, as her younger half-sister dragged her outside.

"Ow," Meredith complained when they were outside. Lexie pulled her even farther from the door and hissed at her, "why are you talking to Sloan about Marie?"

"Why do you care if I talk about Izzie's daughter to Sloan?"

The two Grey's squinted their eyes at each other, trying to measure the other's knowledge in regards to Marie.

"You don't know," Meredith said semi-confidently.

"And you do?" Lexie queried. They kept up their unofficial staring contest for several more seconds before Meredith came to the distasteful conclusion that Lexie had to know. She was always hanging around Izzie and taking care of Marie. In conjunction with Lexie snapping at her for bringing up Marie in front of Mark, it made sense.

"You know about Mark, don't you?" Meredith finally asked.

Lexie crossed her arms over chest defensively, and shrugged. "Know what?"

"You're a terrible liar. Don't worry, I wasn't going to tell him about Marie. I was just…curious."

"Curious?" Lexie sneered, "you were dropping hints! Blond hair, blue eyes--Mer, you can't--"

She pulled her hand over her mouth, realizing that she had basically admitted to knowing.

Meredith grinned.

"Yeah well, don't worry, Iz told me not to tell and I hate that she didn't trust me, but I wouldn't tell Sloan."

Lexie sighed in relief and even smiled. "She told you? Thank God. I felt like I was carrying this big secret and I couldn't even talk to Iz about it because she hates talking about it, you know, but now you know and it's like, yay!"

She laughed but Meredith was far from amused.

"I'm walking away," Meredith said, and that she did.

Lexie's shoulders slumped, disappointed, but Meredith was always acting that way, so she shrugged to herself and went back into the x-ray room.

Mark eyed Lexie as she walked back in. "Where's Meredith?"

"Oh," she jumped a little, "she just--left. We were talking about…sister stuff. And now she's gone."

Mark cocked an eye at her suspiciously.

"You're still not telling me something, Dr. Grey."

Lexie bit her lip and turned her back to him. "I have no idea what you're talking about, Dr. Sloan," she chuckled.

She really was a terrible liar.

*

Alex followed Addison as she flung doors open, looking for something, he didn't know what. She opened a couple of on-call rooms, but they were being occupied, and then she opened the door to a supply closet, but that was chalk-full of things. She walked for a couple of minutes more until she flung open a door, poked her head in, and apparently satisfied with the results, she walked in, Alex right on her heels.

He stood against the door while she paced the on call room, one hand on her hip, the other pressed on her forehead. She was breathing heavily, trying to control the full force of reality pulling at her heart.

Alex didn't say anything, letting her breathe as much as she could, although it probably wasn't helping that he had followed her. He knew that.

Addison stopped her pacing and stood in the center of the room. She dropped her hands at her side, and tilted her head at Alex.

"He's gone," she said with a morbid chuckle. It surprised him. He expected her to lash out at him for following her into the room.

"I'm sorry."

She bit the inside of her cheek and shook her head.

"I came all the way up here from LA with my boyfriend, and for what? We were fine there. We were…it was fine. And then Seattle happened."

Alex slowly walked over to her.

"You can't blame Seattle."

Addison fell back a step when Alex reached her. "Then what, Alex? I come here, and Derek's here. Mark's here."

"What about them? They didn't break you and your boyfriend up. You weren't chasing after them."

"That's not the point, Alex."

"Then what is?!" he screamed out.

"The point is--is that they were here and I thought it would be weird, but I got over that. I got over them a long time ago! I got over you a long time ago! But you're here and I have to get over you again!"

Addison shut her eyes in a bolt when she allowed the words to leave her mouth. Alex felt the corners of his mouth fighting off an inappropriate grin and simultaneously his gut churned at her choice of words.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, eyes still closed, "that wasn't…appropriate. I'm aware of your daughter and I respect Dr. Stevens."

Addison wiped at her brow, opened her eyes, sent him a regretful smile, and began walking forwards, but Alex matched her step.

Addison's eyes widened at his motion, and she attempted to move past him again, but failed.

"Alex--"

He placed his hand on her arm, just a small touch as he took one step closer to her.

She kept her eyes steadily on his, the words _"focus Addison, focus"_ running through her head. His eyes were the focal point, the reminder that at most, he and she were friends, and that was the most she was allowed to ever see him as.

Alex was a little more bold. He placed his hands on either side of her forearms, looked at her feet for a good second, then inched up to look directly at the features of Addison's face. He could note every movement in her body. The tension, the apprehension of his proximity, the strained throat, small count of breaths escaping through her parched lips, the dilation of her eyes. He was so acute of everything he didn't know if he could keep all of the truths from escaping his own mouth.

He reached a hand over to the smaller patches of her dark red hair close to her forehead and pinned them back behind her ear. Her eyes never left his.

"Tell me what you want, Addison," he said, his words surprising her more.

"I don't," she began, paused, went on, "I don't understand."

"I don't want you to get over me," he explained his side, "and I don't want to get over…whatever I'm feeling for you. Because I do feel something and I'm not going to throw it away this time."

Addison's breath came in shorter spouts, and she faltered. She fell a step forward, leaning more into Alex. Her eyes flitted to his lips, which didn't escape Alex's notice.

He leaned his head down, his lips brushing against her cheek, and Addison's hand wrapped around the hand he had on her arm.

"Alex," she breathed, lips nearly touching.

"There are things I can give up to make this right," he whispered to her, and in a flash, she pushed his hand off from her hand, moved her head so her cheek faced his mouth, pulled away, and moved around him. Still he followed.

*

Addison didn't go very far this time, but she did head into the restroom--the female restroom.

Alex paused outside the entrance, debating on whether or not to enter, and it was foolish on his part. He couldn't keep intruding on her--he had never been the guy to not recognize a woman's need to just get away. It was a person's right. But he couldn't abandon the path when he had just found out that Addison returned his feelings, so he went inside.

No one was standing at or near the sinks, and even the stalls appeared empty. All except for one.

He tilted his head to ensure that those were Addison's heels, and he knocked on the stall at question. She didn't make a sound, didn't reply. He tried pulling at the stall, but she had fastened the lock.

"Addison, let me in," he called and miraculously enough, he heard the lock unfasten. She didn't push it open for him, though. He pulled the door back carefully. He saw that she sat against the stall, and he probably wouldn't fit, but he tried anyway.

He crept into the stall, standing tightly on the opposite wall, and pulled the door closed behind him, putting on the lock as well.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

She smirked at him, looked around the small bathroom stall, and pinpointed at the toilet just centimeters from her feet. "I could ask you the same thing," she scoffed and shrugged.

She then turned her head back down, buried it in her palms, to hide the tears that she failed to stop.

She was almost broken, like she was reverting to being that fragile thing people would do their best not to set off, and somehow he couldn't help but ache for her. He trudged up to her, knelt in front of her, and took her hands in his. She didn't make a move, tears blurring the ground she stared at. He pulled at her, and she far too weak to protest or hang on any longer, let him pull her into himself.

He pulled her onto his lap, an arm around her back, legs cushioning her body, hand holding her chin. Her tears maybe too many to catch, but it didn't stop him from trying to help her. He pulled her head into his chest, whispered 'shhs,' and kissed her red hair. He rocked her silently, slowly, letting her cling to him. Her mangled cries were painful to his ears, her clutching fingernails made him fear for her own life, and her normally strong frame, now so vulnerable, disturbed him to no end.

"Please Addison, talk to me, tell me what to do--you can't be like this."

"He knew," she whispered, but amidst her chaos he heard her.

"What?" he said, not completely understanding her, and he stopped rocking her.

She turned in his embrace, and wiped the watery residue from her cheeks.

"He knew," she spoke, with that tone that said how dead serious she was. "And I can't do this," she shifted in his arms, "any of this…"

He loosened his hold, and let her move away from him embrace.

"Addison," there was a hint of exasperation in his voice, but his eyes screamed at the terrible way life kept going wrong for them.

"You--you have people relying on you, and I was just left by a boyfriend of three years. And don't tell me we can figure this out, that you are willing to make your sacrifices, because we both know better, we're smarter than that."

He dropped his eyes, hating what this had all come to, and never had he been more tired of the lies. After a moment, he drew his eyes back up to hers. He inhaled deeply, preparing to shift his world around once again, this time without Izzie's content, and he said: "It's a set-up--all of it. From the relationship, to Marie--none of it's real. Well, definitely not the relationship part, but I still love Marie as if she were mine. But her name--Marie's name--it's not some name we picked randomly, or because it's a variation of Mary. The name's got a part of her mom, and her dad," he paused, watching Addison carefully who was on the cusp of grasping his words.

She stood up abruptly, transfixed at the words he was telling her, putting puzzles together until he said the final three words.

"Her real dad."

Addison gaped at his words, bewildered. "A set up?"

"Yeah, we--"

Addison raised her hands, as if telling him to stop, and she pushed her way out of the stall.

"Addison, wait--"

She rushed out of the restroom, out into the halls, where Alex would not stop. Finally, she stopped, turned on her heel, and stared at him angrily.

"Stop talking. Stop following me," she ordered, turned back around, marched away from, and turned a corner to disappear.

From a small distance, Izzie watched Addison chastise Alex and Alex's crestfallen face in response to whatever Alex was telling him. He stood frozen in the middle of a hectic hallway, and Izzie made her way to him.

Izzie touched his shoulder, and he shook it off. When he realized what he had done, he turned to face the person who had touched him, and immediately apologized.

"Sorry," he muttered.

"What happened, Alex?"

"Nothing," he looked away, back in Addison's direction.

"Addison," Izzie said in a small voice, "she's the reason, isn't she?"

"No," Alex answered.

"What happened, Alex?" she asked again.

Alex turned to face her. "She broke up with that Kevin dude. I tried talking to her but, you know, I was never good at that stuff. Whatever."

He brushed past her, and Izzie nearly laughed at herself. The signs had been there. She knew Alex, she knew him very well. The company he kept with Addison and how he responded to Addison's words and glances. She should have seen it. Whatever the case, it wasn't as if Izzie could do much else anymore.

She and Alex were on the verge on unfolding the truth, if only to the remainder of their friends and closest co-workers, but that was all it would take for the entire hospital to find out that she and Alex were not together. There was of course, still the matter of informing Mark before he heard it through the grapevine that Alex Karev was not the father of Isobel Stevens' daughter, which would lead to the irrefutable truth that Mark would quickly come to.

*

Izzie didn't push Alex, knowing he would just deny, deny, deny until the he was so irritated that he just told her what it was that occurred between him and Addison. He would tell her on his own terms.

Addison wound up leaving Alex and an intern or two the remainder of her cases and leaving for the day at her discretion, angering Alex furthermore. But it didn't compare to his anger that arose when the following morning, he searched for Addison high and low until the Chief himself informed Dr. Brandon that which the surgeon would all too enthusiastically told Alex--Dr. Montgomery was, at that moment, on her way back to her own practice in Los Angeles.


	22. Chapter 21

**Title:** Leave a Trail (21/23)  
**Rating:** T  
**Character(s)/Pairing(s):** Addison Montgomery, Alex Karev, Izzie Stevens, Mark Sloan; est. Kevin/Addison  
**Summary: **Set a few years post season four, Addison Montgomery finds herself back at Seattle Grace, albeit to find that things are quite different. Along with her life set and in order, she sees that many of the doctors have also come to terms with love life. As time progresses, however, these doctors will witness the phrase 'the more things change, the more they stay the same' manifest. (AU post mid-S4)  
**Note:** enjoy. (:

* * *

A punch flew and for the flash of a second, the regrets subsided.

The bag recoiled, as did his feelings. Another punch, and anger replaced everything. Punch after punch.

He loved Marie, loved Izzie, but he always knew the sort of love that was. The kind he kept up for them, the kind to redeem himself from his past in his own way.

That's how it started, anyway.

Then it began to sway, and Marie became a part of him. God, how he had come to love that little girl. But Izzie…

_Dammit._

The punch stifled the tears at the corner of his eyes.

He loved her too, but not enough, never enough. She was his friend, his best friend. Nothing could ever change that. Just like nothing could change the fact that they weren't meant to be more than that. But they had tried, tried for everyone, for Marie, even for each other. But not for themselves. That's what it came down to. Yeah, a friend was always good. How many people had lived their entire lives with only their friends but no romantic lover?

Enough.

Yet, that lifestyle was not acceptable if there was that other coveted path. He had it. There, with those resolutely set blue-green eyes.

The sweat overcame him, and the punching bag came to a halt after he stood frozen, staring at it for minutes on end.

Finally, he sat down on the ground, his arms on his knees, hands with punching gloves at his mouth, his eyes glazing off.

Marie.

He didn't want to lose her. He didn't want to lose Izzie's friendship. Sure, so far, things weren't going too bad. There were those small awkward moments in which Marie would say something that inferred that parents were a unit as a couple, and both Izzie and him would tense up. Just as well, he had yet to tell Izzie about Addison--not that there was much to tell, but there were things to tell that pertained to him and Addison. More importantly, it would come off as insensitive and inconsiderate for him to seemingly be "chasing" after someone when Izzie would be attempting to keep her little girl together.

But he didn't want to imagine a scenario in which he turned his back to Addison and remained on his own as he, Izzie, and Marie made a slow transition to a less than conjoined family. He couldn't just pretend that Addison didn't make him smile with just one quick glance, as though her voice didn't hit him and just wash over him. As if her smile didn't make his heart pound, his hands want to reach out to her. She was 12 years his senior, ranked higher in his career, and man she was stubborn, confident, wise, and sometimes too concerned with the emotional aspects of her patients. Aside from her physical attributes there was no reason he should have been attracted to her of all women at all. Except that he was, and he knew she was attracted to him in addition to other things, and there was the trick of it all.

Maybe he could just leave it alone, leave her be in her Los Angeles, because maybe he still wasn't any good for her.

The latter wasn't the case, however. He knew it, just as he knew had changed enough but not too much. Knew it because he had been raising a little girl for three years alongside a woman who had varying opinions regarding child rearing, yet they came together and thus far had given her a good life.

He knew he was better off now, much better because he could keep track of bills, wake up on time, limit the amount he drank, and knew (most times--okay some times, anyway) when to shut his mouth around certain people thanks to Marie.

Simultaneously, Izzie had done the most work. Both he and she knew, but she accepted it because in the end she knew well enough that Alex was not Marie's biological father, and did not have any real obligation to either of them. She tried her best to hide the fact just how aware she was of this, but he read her so well. Still, he did feel an obligation to them, since he had made a promise to stick with them. And he did what he could to help--and he had gotten better with each passing year. And everything had done his character well. And it also stripped some things away from him. From all of them, things were taken away because of the lie that was done for the betterment and protection of Marie, and even Izzie.

So that being no good for her? It was no excuse. He wouldn't just clean his hands from Addison's life because of that. The only reason he'd walk away from her would be because she could be happy without him whereas Marie would really be losing something if he left.

Alex jumped back up, cracked his neck, pulled back his right arm, and his fist flew back towards the punching bag. The strain of his arm he ignored, along with the physical pain throbbing through his hand.

The emotions boiled up, formulating a mixture of anger, hurt, and dissatisfaction.

And in that hit, he made his decision.

*

He bought a ticket. Four days later, he bought a ticket, which is why he would say it was not impulsive nor was it irrational. In fact, it was the right thing to do. He wasn't going to just let her be. Sure, she implicitly told him not to follow her, but sometimes doing the right thing meant not listening.

He only told the Chief that he was going to be gone for a weekend, and he told Izzie he was going away, but he wasn't specific. She had not liked it--she feared he was running away, hiding, but he told her that wasn't the case. It was something else, and maybe it would have helped to explain to her, but he hadn't the time to go into the topic that was Addison Forbes Montgomery.

He took a taxi to the airport early Friday morning, and made it all the way to the register counter to check in, and proceeded to walk toward the direction of his plane's waiting area.

Not even a minute after checking in, however, he felt the presence of someone walking practically right in pace with him.

He turned his head to glance at whoever seemed to have issues with personal space, only to find Derek Shepherd walking nonchalantly with him.

"Derek?" he frowned.

Derek turned his head slowly, as if there was no surprise in him being there.

"Hello, Alex," Derek shot him a sly smile.

"What are you doing here--did Izzie send you?"

"Actually…" Derek squinted, then stopped and pulled Alex's arm so he would stop walking as well.

"I sent myself here. When you told me you were heading out this weekend, I figured you might do something stupid. Like going to LA for Addison. I knew you were leaving this morning, so I've been waiting around for half an hour, waiting to spot you."

Alex furrowed his brows at Derek and yanked his arm away. "How'd you know where I would be going?"

"You said you were having feelings for Addison. And when she left, you were in a terrible mood. Chances were, you were going down to Los Angeles."

Alex shook his head, and muttered, "whatever" and started walking away.

"She's coming back," Derek yelled behind Alex.

Alex turned on his heel and quirked his eyebrow. "What?"

Derek made his way back to Alex. "For the wedding. I called her the night after she left, to make sure she was okay. Then I asked her if she would still come for the wedding. She was hesitant, but she made a promise, and she intends to keep it. She'll be here for the wedding."

"What, so I'm supposed to wait around three weeks for her to come back?" Alex scoffed.

And Derek calmly responded, "Yes. You wait. She needs some time Alex."

"Time? What'd she tell you, Shepherd?"

Derek sighed and looked away. "What she told me, she told _me_. If there's anything she wants to tell you, I'm sure she'll say on her terms, in her own time. Now let's get out of here."

Alex looked down at his feet, traced the tiles of the floor, then looked from Derek to over his own shoulder, at the plane terminals.

"You go now, without a warning, when everything is still fresh, Alex, and she won't talk to you--at least not willingly, and that never goes over well."

Alex understood what the older man meant, but it didn't make it much easier to walk away from his plane terminal, back to the check-out counter, to reserve his plane ticket for another time.

*

Alex didn't even stop by the apartment--he drove back to the hospital with Derek, despite Derek's offer to leave him at his apartment.

He changed into his scrubs, found the Chief to tell him the trip was cancelled, and grabbed whatever cases he could find.

A couple of hours later, he ran into Izzie, who was confused, having thought he was gone for the weekend.

"Everything okay?" she asked him.

"Yeah, I just figured I shouldn't head out," he shrugged it off, but she read something else in him that made her want to poke further at the subject.

"You sure?"

Alex nodded and turned his eyes away, but then he said, "I'll talk to you after your shift."

"Yeah, of course." For good measure, she wrapped her arms around his torso, and gave him a quick squeeze.

Even after all this time, Alex had a hard time adjusting to her hugs, but they were always comforting in some form or another.

He returned the hug for a good second, then released her. He smiled tightly and walked away. Izzie stood watching him leave, a sigh escaping her lips.

She had her own worries, as well.

*

"So, you plan on telling him?"

Lexie kept pestering Izzie about telling Mark, and Izzie didn't know if she could stand the interrogation anymore.

"I don't know!" she yelled--in the middle of the cafeteria no less. Lexie blushed at the stares then shot Izzie a look.

"Don't give me that look--you're the one who keeps asking," Izzie berated her.

"I just think you should tell him before he finds out some other way."

"The only way he could find out is if you or Mer tell him, and if that's the case, you are dead," Izzie threatened her.

"Look, Mer's probably told Cristina at this point--"

"Hence Cristina's cold shoulder," Izzie murmured as she bit her fingernails.

"Yeah, and when Alex moves--"

Izzie slapped Lexie's shoulder to hush her.

Lexie lowered her voice and continued. "You two have already stopped referring to each other as boyfriend and girlfriend, and you don't eat together very often anymore. Some people have noticed, okay? They're definitely going to notice when he's moved out and you stop inviting people over for those holiday parties of yours."

"Hey, the festivities are not going to stop just because of that."

"No, but the couple hosting will. Maybe people won't really notice for awhile, because it's not like you two were ever really coupley, but there are signs that you're distant. There are signs."

"So what?" Izzie shrugged. "So people will guess we're not together. What does Mark have to do with that? It's not like we're spreading the other news," she said, referring to Alex not being Marie's paternal father.

"But you're going to tell Marie," Lexie hissed, "and not that you're going to specify names to her, but all she has to do is let it slip that Alex isn't her real…you know, and if whoever hears her is someone from this hospital, it wouldn't be long before it reached the ears of a certain…surgeon."

"Don't you think I've thought of that?"

Izzie sighed and leaned back in her seat.

"Maybe…" and Lexie drawled this out slowly, knowing it could earn her a deadly glare and firing words, "if you first told a certain surgeon, and the two of you told Marie…"

"No. He's not going to talk to Marie."

"So what, the girl's never going to know who her biological father is? Alex is going to have to keep lying about that--Derek, Meredith, Cristina, and I are just going to keep our mouths shut? Derek, his best friend--"  
"They're not best friends."

"They're like brothers--Mer has told me that. I've heard it slip from Derek's mouth. Brothers don't keep those kind of secrets for long."

"Just…stop, okay? I know that if I don't tell him, Derek will. I know. I just need to figure some things out first."

"Like what? Like if your fear should prohibit the man's right to know he has a daughter?"

"It's not about fear."

"Yes, it is. You're scared that if you let him get close, if only to Marie, that he'll let her down in some way or another. And you know what, that fear is probably legit. But you don't have any way of knowing. Sometimes, you just gotta take a chance on things, Iz. I'm sorry, but that's what you're going to have to do."

Izzie cursed beneath her breath, primarily at Lexie, who was so intent on pointing out the obvious. Izzie knew what it came down to, but hearing it aloud wasn't doing her any favors.

*

Lexie let out a puff of air, and she saw the condensation that formed in the air from that. It was cold, maybe even freezing, but she was accustomed to the Seattle air. What she was not accustomed to was Izzie shutting her out and not giving her a ride back home. She wished she had driven to work in her car that morning, but there wasn't anything she could do about it. As it was, she was waiting for Meredith to finish a case.

"It's cold."

Lexie rolled her eyes at the voice of Mark Sloan, and she bit back a snarky remark or two, and she just shrugged. A small moment passed when Lexie saw Mark going to sit beside her on the bench. She shifted more to her left so as to put more distance between her and him, and she crossed her arms over her stomach.

"Waiting for someone?" he asked.

Lexie licked her lips and nodded. "Yeah, Meredith."

"She your ride?"

She nodded but didn't look directly at the man.

"Where do you live?"

"That's really none of your business," she chuckled.

"Just trying to be polite," he muttered, and then stood from the bench, only to go stand in front of her.

"I have to ask…," he said, looking at the floor when he took a pause, which Lexie found odd since the man had a penchant for direct eye contact.

Lexie shifted in her seat uncomfortably, when she spoke up - "if it's to ask me if Izzie is hiding something and if I know that something, then you can forget it. I am not going to--"

"It's not that," Mark snapped. He cleared his throat and looked down at her directly, straightened his back, and said, "It seems to me that you and Izzie are pretty close--which I'm glad to see, since Izzie's the kind of person who needs someone to have her back, since she likes to take on so many battles and burdens--and so I need to ask, is she happy?"

Lexie's eyes widened at the question and her mouth fell the slightest bit agape, and although she could go into a lengthy discussion of how Izzie was content and only truly happy when she was with her daughter, but that Izzie was carrying a load of issues that only when discarded, could Izzie be happy, Lexie was prepared to give him the easy answer of _of course she is_.

Before she could give him the easy answer, however, Mark re-opened his mouth and elaborated on his question.

"She doesn't invest in her patients as much anymore, and I would always tell her that she needed to distance herself, to recognize and leave that line alone, and it's good that she sees that line now, but still it's strange to see her be like that now. And she tells me that she's with Karev, but I don't see that. They don't seem together. And she doesn't scream at me."

Mark looked away again, then took a deep breath, and laughed.

Lexie sat back, surprised and even a little scared at seeing him act and speak in that manner. She hadn't known him long, and she didn't him well, but from she had seen and heard about him, this seemed so far removed from his character.

"You never stopped loving her," Lexie said in a slow breath.

Mark didn't respond to that, but he heard her loud and clear. Instead, he repeated, "is she happy?"

She looked him in the eyes, then shot her eyes to the floor. She pushed herself of the bench, and tilted her head at him.

"I'm not Izzie. I'm her friend, and she has my back. I have her back. But I'm not her. I haven't walked in her shoes, and I can't even begin to imagine what it would be like to go through the things she has been through. So don't ask me if Izzie is happy. Ask her."

With that, Lexie walked around Mark Sloan, and walked back into the hospital, to wait for Meredith elsewhere.

Mark watched her leave, then he glanced back down at the bench. He sat down, leaned back, and closed his eyes. _Ask Izzie_, he said to himself. He had thought of doing that in the first place, but he was a coward for the fear of Izzie deflecting his question and her storming off without answering, or worst, giving him something generic like, _of course I'm happy_. Mark wanted an answer, a fully fleshed one, but if he even wanted a chance of that happening, he would have to ask the question to the person directly.

*

The clock had turned to 10: 44 pm when Izzie got back to the apartment. Alex had only worked a small shift that evening, and Izzie had not planned on staying late, but an emergency case deterred those plans.

As Izzie made her way to the kitchen, she was tackled by Marie.

"Hey sweetie," Izzie smiled at her daughter, who looked dead tired, despite her jumpiness.

"Momma," the girl smiled and raised her arms. Izzie picked her up and whirled her around. The little girl squealed.

Izzie put her down and smiled at Alex.

"Hey Iz," he smiled, but it was more a frown than anything.

"Mom, daddy say we have something important to talk about," Marie said in half-broken pronunciation.

"Uh..," Izzie titled her head at Alex, questioningly.

"Yeah," Alex nodded, "sit down at the table, baby."

Marie pounced to the table and sat on her knees.

Alex walked over to the table, pulled a chair up close to Marie, and Izzie followed suit.

"Marie, no matter what, know that we love you. _I_ love you. You're my baby," he said, stroking Marie's cheek.

Izzie, realizing what was happening, lost her breath for a second.

"I know. I love you," Marie shook her head enthusiastically.

Izzie put a hand on her daughter's arm, and let out her breath. "Marie, I know this won't make sense. So like your dad said, just know we love you. And everything we've done, it's been for you."

Marie's lips fell in a straight line. She hadn't seen either of her parents ever be so serious with her. "Mommy?"

"Baby," Alex turned Marie's attention to him, "I'm not going to be here after awhile. I'm going to live in another house. But I will see you every day. Just not as much."

"You live here," Marie said, as though clarifying things for him.

"Marie. Thing is, I am your daddy, and I will be your daddy, always. But you have another dad. A dad who helped make you. A dad who is the reason you are here."

Marie shuffled out of her seat, and sprung on her mother. "One daddy, one mommy?" she looked up at her, almost pleading. The girl was only three years old, just a baby. How could any of this make sense? All she was hearing was that she had another daddy, but the one she already had wasn't going to be there.

"Oh sweetie," Izzie lamented, picking her up. "I'm sorry. You have two daddies. One mommy."

Marie opened her mouth wide. "Where other daddy?"

Izzie and Alex looked at each other. This was Izzie's choice from now on. It was her choice to tell Marie that her dad was a man named Mark, who worked at the hospital with them.

"He's close. Near us. When he is here, I will tell you. And you can meet him. But you still have Alex, okay?"

Marie nodded and smiled. The Alex not living there thing bypassed her, and she jumped out from her mom's arms.

"Dad," Marie yelled, and grabbed his hand, "let's go night night."

Alex smiled at her, picked her up, and ran toward the stairs, Marie giggling all the way up to her bedroom.

Once Marie had fallen asleep, he crept downstairs to Izzie, who was making lunch for the following day.

He sighed as he walked into the kitchen, and scratched his head.

"Hey," he nodded to her.

"Hey," she replied, smiling tightly and returning to the stove.

"We're doing the right thing," he assured her. She nodded.

"So you are going to tell Sloan?"

Izzie, with her back still to Alex, looked down and blinked rapidly. She pushed her hair back, cleared her throat, and answered, "Yeah."

She then turned to Alex. "But I'm going to choose when to tell him. You can't push me, and you can't drop 'hints'. I'll do it at the right time."

"Sounds fair," Alex responded. He smiled to her, and began walking away, but Izzie stopped him.

"You were going to California, weren't you?"

Alex chuckled. "Was I that obvious?"

Izzie only smiled half-heartedly. "Why didn't you go?"

Alex opened his mouth, but closed it back. He furrowed his brows, and looked at the stove where Izzie was standing close to. When he looked back at her, he said with confident conviction - "It wasn't the right time."

He smiled at that, and she cocked her eyebrows at him, but he didn't bother to explain further. He understood now why it wouldn't have been good for him to go to California just days after Addison returned there, and why it was best to wait for her to come back to Seattle of her own accord. Why it was best for him to put things in his life back in line first.

.


End file.
